Solving the Problem of Too Much Passion
When Vicki Stanford, Director of the Speakers Bureau for The Ken Blanchard Companies, invited me to send a video for one of their webcasts, I sent this video on Un-Leaderlike Moments. It’s how I’m solving the problem of too much passion. (2 min. 47 sec.) :
How have you seen passion get in the way?
Good post as always Dan. No, I don’t like the shirt either. 🙂
Passion can only be instilled or become contagious when the vision is clear to everyone. If people don’t understand where you are trying to go, or they don’t get what all the fuss and excitement are about, then you are a boat with only one oar.
The passion is much less likely to go awry or be disruptive if we take or make the time to communicate clearly- vision, benefits, risks, etc. And, yes, we must give them time to absorb what we have been pondering over for some time, and “know” to be right.
Thank you Martin.
I think being calm as vision is explored and shared helps others embrace it without feeling pressured. I can see that after vision is embraced we can let it rip!
Of course, I feel the passion while developing shared vision but I believe holding it back makes room for others to contribute and develop their own passion.
This is great Dan. The blurry shirt did not bother me but I was way inspired by the message. This video shows clearly that a picture is worth a 1000 words. Your words were very important but your body language signifiying your ownership of those words was much more overpowering. I hope you do more of these videos. I for one will remember today’s message on exuberant and unbridled passion and the harm it may cause for a very long time. Touche! Dan. Awesome. Best, Al
Thank you Al.
My respect for you adds weight to your feedback and encouragement. Have a great weekend
Dan, terrific topic, good engagement, nice inflections, and confident your video presence will increase as you become more comfortable with the camera and video production. GREAT JOB! Thanks for sharing. RR
Thank you for the encouragement, Rebecca. I’m exploring a relationship with an organization that may enhance my video presentations. Time will tell.
Good subject, Dan, and good video. It may be your first on the web, but it is well done. In passing, the lines on the shirt are Moiré lines. You can find tips for reducing them with a Google search.
Now to the main subject: passionate leaders….
I see in your video a person like the apostle John.
He was so passionate that he was surnamed Boanerges, yet he learned to control that passion and put it to good use.
In his early days, John wanted to call down fire upon the Samaritans to further the Lord’s work. However, he learned over time to channel that passion.
John was a disciple who learned to love his Lord dearly, wrote 5 of the books of the New Testament, and lived to an old age in exile on the island of Patmos.
Because of his passion, he forged forwards. Because of his love for his Lord’s mission, he submitted that passion to the purpose to which he was called.
You subordinating of your obvious passion to your mission to develop leaders is similar to John’s. Keep it up – and thanks for your example.
What do I draw from the video?
1) It is important to keep passion, but not for personal gain. Passion should be submitted to the purpose for which we have responsibility as stewards. It should drive us forwards relentlessly, not because we stand to gain, but because our lives have a purpose. “Well done, good and faithful servant” should be our highest calling.
2) Your remarks about giving people time to absorb new ideas is important. I’ve often been guilty of deep planning, springing ideas on people, then wondering why they took so long to get on board. Planning for the change initiative (a la Kotter) by setting the stage in steps is often more productive than simply springing a program on people and expecting them to follow.
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Well stated and I truly enjoyed learning about John the Apostle.
Thank you Marc.
What a powerful contribution and helpful to me.
Thanks for bringing out the central connection between organizational objectives and personal passion. It’s a useful guiding principle.
Nice job, Dan. You are naturally gifted with a great voice and nice presence. Content could be streamlined (you could do it half the time and retain key messages and story).
Please do more short videos (but also have a text summary of key points). After you do this a few times you will no doubt wonder why you waited so long to get started.
Thank you Henry.
Wonderful feedback and encouragement.
I enjoyed your first foray into the video message format Dan. Appreciated your candor and the learnings you’ve gleaned from the ‘school of hard knocks’ – it sure can be humbling! Your tag-line I’ve appreciated is “in 300 words or less”. Same goes for video. 🙂
Thank you JT.
In thinking about the 300 word limit I think that puts a video at about 1.5 to 2 min. max. Helpful., thanks
Very interesting message. As leaders we need to bring the passion in people to the forefront. Find the core values and ideals that make them who they are as individuals so that we can help them channel those passions into meaningful and productive activities. We look for ways to ignite and empower their passion for it is passion that activates their skills and talents.
However, as you mentioned, passion gone awry creates it’s own un-leaderlike problems. People that are blinded by their passions refuse to listen, take constructive input, consult with others and can become egocentric almost to the point of being maniacal about pressing their interests.
As with all things, sometimes we need to reset to our default state. For leadership it is communication; interactive listening and speaking with clarity. Passion purposes us, misplaced passion blinds us to the input of others.
Thank you Bryan.
Your second paragraph names all the negative things I’ve done because of passion gone awry… Bingo!
Dan, the quality of the message and delivery is fine but I would pay attention to your own imposed restriction if you want to go the video route …. What was that ??? Oh ya, a couple hundred words. 🙂 Don’t lose what matters “these posts are the perfect size” not only in time used but in digestable, useable info.
Thank you Larry. Well said and well taken.
Dan, I’ve been unleaderlike in my passion. This happened just recently. I am passionate against dishonesty. A gentle not too long ago was being dishonest with me and and I just let him have and just belittled the man, because I was just so passionate against dishonesty. I didn’t get around to apologizing to this man, and I probably will never see him again. But I was really convicted and sorry afterwards.
Thank you for your candor, Juan.
YOu make me think that passion when it comes to attacking (I’ve been there) is a poor use of passion.
Dan: Great video (and blog of course).
We added horses to leadership development to allow senior executives to really understand the impact of their actions (in contrast with their intentions). One exercise asks them to step forward and then wait for 3 seconds to allow their horse to make a decision to follow – or not. Almost 90% of leaders struggle with the 3 second rule. Half start pulling within 2 seconds while the other half step back to the starting point.
So much changes once leaders learn to take the pause – Leaders who pulled learn to receive feedback as they shift from demanding compliance to asking for results. Leaders who backed up too soon learn the importance of persistence and the difference between listening and inconsistency.
I love your insight that waiting until things feel just a bit awkward allows your follower to step into the space.
I’m going to forward your video to our clients as a reminder of this very important learning.
Thank you Sharon.
LOVE the 3 second rule! I can just see it.
Thanks for sharing this video… cheers
thanks for the reminder. I myself have made this same mistake too often. I wanted to immediately share this with others!… but am taking a moment… ;~)
Thank you Geoffrey.
I took a moment before saying thank you… 🙂
Passions without boundaries are dangerous, because passions take on a momentum of their own, so that even the person creating the passion can be swept away in an overzealous moment. So finding strategies to keep passion controlled are wise/necessary. You called out being quiet, which is great, others I like are jotting down where I am going (using an outline) prior to a situation/meeting. (In negotiation I know long before the meeting how far I will go.) In personal situations I seek to never violate my own principles. In all these situations developing personal discipline is a key element… that is tough for me and from what I’ve seen tough for many. Judicious use of mentors/coaches/advisors/accountability people has also been effective.
From my “geek side” – The shirt “wavy” is Moiré Pattern http://mathworld.wolfram.com/MoirePattern.html – like passion it has produced an unintended outcome by the collision of two patterns the weave of your shirt and the geometry of the imaging sensor in your camera.
Last – I think I recall some videos in the early days of “Leadership Freak Coffee Shop”… yes?
Thanks Ken.
I always appreciate your contributions.
I’m with you, the discipline to hold back or stay calm is a challenge. I want to get going… of course, if I leave everyone behind, I’m not leading.
Thanks for the llnk
Oh, video on Facebook. I think I may have posted a few. This is my first on wordpress. I just purchased the video upgrade.
Many times when driven by passion, we feel that we have to express our thoughts and perhaps overwhelm the conversation. I’ve learned that when you’re silent, you have an opportunity to really listen to what others have to say. That allows you time to internalize, analyze, and think carefully before actually sharing your thoughts and perspectives. At times, silence is perceived as a sign of ignorance and weakness. However, I admire people who take the time to listen and when they do speak they’re words are calm, articulate, well thought-out and profound.
Thank you Tagrid.
While reading your contribution, I thought about having purpose in listening. We don’t simply listen. We listen to connect and understand. But there’s more. Listen helps fuel the passion of others, when they feel heard.
Cheers
Dear Dan,
A really great video. It was amazing, I enjoyed it. I think you should continue posting videos from time to time. It reveals so many things about topic, your style and relevance. Coming to the post, I think too much passion leads to obsession. In the previous posts, there was great discussion on passion vs obsession. You invited great discussion on passion and obsession through face book. I remember, the response was huge. Again, I reiterate that too much passion could be obsession or over ambition. Alternatively it could be out curiosity to get it faster. And this curiosity could be result of our lack of perseverance, analysis, evaluation and selfishness of course. Our inner inability plays greater role in increasing passion. Being passionate is good symptom to be successful. One should be passionate about its goal and interest. But being passionate just to compare, show our achievement, showing our pride could lead to over passionate behaviour that is not good at all. It might satisfy for time being but ultimately lead to behaviour and habit that is unacceptable, unfair and unethical sometimes.
Passion is the reflection of our ability and motivation to achieve our goal. But when passion becomes tool to defy and demean others then it changes its shape and it takes more energy and fatigue.
This passion is perhaps over passion or obsession.
Thank you Ajay.
I’m most fascinated by your observations about curiosity and passion. Totally intriguing. Thanks you
Stripes are a “no no” on film however seeing you is a great way to get a better feel for your heart and mind. I really enjoyed that! I know you will grow and this may become an excellent way to share insights and hard earned experiences with your following. I have high hopes for this medium.
As for un-leader like moments and excessive passion I do see an important connection. When a leader speaks to his people he can yell from afar or come close to those they are leading and begin walking. Passion can be seen in both however for the world I see we (followers) want someone who will walk beside us, knows where we are and what we are up against, not a distant know it all. Many have passion and vision but are short on application and implementation. This is where your blog has been so helpful. Very practical and profound. Thank you again for the work you do. I don’t get here as often as I’d like but so glad I saw this one. Respectfully, Dan
Thank you Daniel.
You made a powerful connection between distance and passion. Often great passion pushes people away…sure it can invite others in.But, it only invites where there is alignment and people feel connected. That’s were nearness come in. Absolutely love your insights
Oh boy… my very worst leadership moments were driven by “passion.” I am not proud of them. Ugh,
Passion is so vital, and yet it’s so important to channel it well. I’ve been working very hard on calm. It’s interesting, you mention public speaking as well…. I received some really good coaching to bring “mentor Karin” to the stage when I speak, instead of always relying on my “big, passionate personality.” Controlling the passion in that arena is also creating a new kind of magic which seems to really engage.
Passion/Energy is my favorite leadership subject (right behind trust/transparency)
I like the video format.
Thank you Karin.
Glad you brought up public speaking. It’s intriguing to me that people want to here the personal stories etc. It’s not just big passion…running around the platform… great add.
There is a fine line between enthusiasm and stupidity. At least I have been told that.
From my AA experience we are told eventually we might grow from Bleeding Deacons to Elder Statesmen. Working on it!
Having said that give me passion or give me death! Rather have to figure out how to steer unbridled enthusiasm than try to move the dead!!!! You can quote me on that!!! How is that for some Humilty on a lazy Saturday afternoon?
I think your shirt was fine.
SP Out!!!!
Hello Dan,
Thank you for the video. I think you brought a very important element to the table that deserves some thought. I have always found that leaders instill a desire for “passion” and create an urge to carry that passion forward. However, there are some issues in attempting such actions.
First, passion is an object of enthusiasm and is subject to individual understanding and attachment. A great example of this could be the that of love where we all share a generalized comprehension of it, but at the same time we each have distinct intensities for it on a personal level.
Secondly, we generally assume that others share our “understanding” and therefore, we expect the reactions of others to coincide with our passion. The point that you have brought forth points to the need of redefining how we as individuals “present” our passions depending on how those receiving it are going to understand and accept it.
Therefore, the key is to determine the amount of passion to exhibit in any situation will be dependent on the shared valued of that passion. Face it, there are some people who will never share or understand the passion for leadership but, it is worth the attempt. Once you see that the passion is not shared, you will be wasting your time trying to instill it.
Frankly I was kinda surprised as I didn’t understand what the title has to do with education category, as I misunderstood the word passion, but after I watched the video I got the point and I like it alot. For me I’m one of those who prefer to do everything by my own , to guarantee its success , as u said in the video that not to let people do it my way , which they don’t, I prefer that they don’t do it at all. I know I’m mistaken but I wanna achieve a goal with the image I can see.
I like your video: very clear, very to the point, and touched on pertenant info on the missunderstanding of passion and did tractors from keeping your focus on your leadership skills
Thank you, Dan.
Much like your succinct blogs, this three minute video blog further highlights the wisdom you have chosen to share with us.
Again, thank you!
Steve
Love this, Dan! Love what you have to say, and it is a delight to see you speak. Your presence is consistent with how you come across in your writing, as I would expect. Thanks for sharing this.
Good stuff Dan. I can relate to the comment regarding giving others time to ‘cozy up to a new idea’. May I be the 1st to nominate you for a Golden Globe award!!!
I’m an educator. Your talk made me think about the classroom and the importance of allowing students ‘thinking time.’ Teachers frequently ask a question, pause for a second, repeat it in different words, then a bit louder… Sometimes it’s because of their enthusiasm and passion, although that’s not the only reason. Sometimes it’s because they are playing ‘guess what’s in my head’… where the audience is expected to say what the teacher is thinking. Not that different from what you describe as a leader. If we really value the thoughts of the people to whom we are speaking, they need time to process and think before they respond.
Great blog, thanks!
anyone who can say the word “un-leaderlike” multlple times without getting tongue-tied is OK in my book!
Thanks for the great sharing., Dan. I could resonate very much with many of the points you brought up in my interactions with my co-workers, especially when my passion or impatience gets the better of me. Your’brutal’assessment of your un-leaderlike moments is a hallmark of a leader who is in tune with his inner self and able to balance his thoughts and emotions when connecting with people. I look forward to more great stuff from you.
Hi Dan – congrats on getting asked to put this together! The idea of passion sometimes overriding our best leadership skills really resonates with me. I can think of lots of times when I got caught up in talking when I should have been listening or letting others express their passion. It’s a tough one to get right!
All the best!
Katy
The Mesmerizer has spoken!
Great to see and hear you ‘live’ Dan, helps to paint a more complete presence of our LF Leader and speaks to passion, candor and vulnerability all at the same time.
Can passion be perceived sans words? Can presence with silence convey passion? Does the act of being totally present in the moment and focused show respect, engagement, and passion? Definitely see Sharon Q’s 3 second rule fit in there too. That silence may also show that you are aware that is not really about you.
YES, on Close to the Edge sang, “The time between the notes relates the colour to the scenes”…without white space, without pause, without time to integrate, it may become just overwhelming, dissonant noise.
How to share passion without flooding, how to lean in, but not too far and still not be perceived as leaning away…may also be those skills of pace and timing.,,and silently just being there can show how much you respect and value those you are in collaboration with.
Hi Doc, never really thought about passion and silence but you reminded me of one of my most favorite songs “Sounds of Silence” and brings back great memories and also reminds me I am on my “last leg.” “Hello Darkness my old friend,” as I hear the words “presence” comes to mind and lingers. Is it enough to be “there” and have and show passion. I agree with you listening, watching, reacting, observing, silently cheering for what is happening around you certainly is a form of passion. Watching others perform is a gift especially when perhaps you inspired in part the performance. The courage “to do,” is never far if a willing audience awaits.
So very true! Thanks for the video and the affirmation of growth and learning in leadership.
This is what really hit home: “I spend a few days thinking about an issue, and react surprised when others need some time to think about the issue after I present it to them!” I have also been guilty of this unrealistic expectation! I will now be more aware!! Thanks!!
As someone who has seen the words “he’s really passionate” appear for 25 years on various performance assessments (and not always in a good way!), I definitely relate.
My primary key now is nothing happens with that passionate thought until it turns into thoughtful action. This is what brings me and the team more into purposeful action than passionate reaction.
A secondary key is to remember it is more important to be passionate about the process for building good ideas than
it is to be passionate about the idea itself. This allows me to remain passionate – but now it’s a passion everyone can buy into.
And as someone who has done lots of video – not only should you go with solids (as long as it’s not a solid white), don’t hesitate to have the camera come in on you closer and slightly off centre. It’s more visually appealing that way. great job though – wonderful to see your words expressed with the passion behind them!
My computer at work does not have speakers, so listening can be very difficult. If you’re going to go the route of video, I’d also like a transcript provided. Quite frankly, I can read faster than I can listen.
LOVE it! Please keep the videos coming….
When I’m passionate I’m a discussion I trend to overpower people with my direct language.
They start thinking I’m a know it all.
Such a slippery slope! Passionate, assertive, matter of fact, stating the obvious….
All great skills, but understandable how people would perceive “know-it-all” as an outcome. So important to be aware!!
Hi Dan,
I am a bit late to this post.
Loved hearing your voice and seeing you – makes it way more powerful.
I too can so relate to exactly what you said re passion.
I even had a somewhat similar experience with a colleague re facebook!
I really need to allow time for people to digest an idea and to listen and identify how to ignite other’s passion.
I am also very fearful of being a leader and the responsibility it brings!
Thanks again.
I can definitely relate to un-leaderlike moments caused by blinding passion!
I hope you post a few more videos like this in the future. It’s a refreshing break from reading and delivers a different message than plain text.