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In the dynamic realm of the workplace, navigating the delicate balance between assertiveness and collaboration can be a challenge. There are times when employees may find it necessary to say “no” to a manager or colleague, but determining when it’s appropriate to do so requires careful consideration. To master the art of effective workplace communication, understanding the nuances of such situations is crucial.
Below, 16 Forbes Coaches Council members share circumstances in which employees should assert their boundaries, providing valuable insights on how to communicate a “no” respectfully and professionally. By striking a balance between autonomy and teamwork, employees can foster healthy workplace relationships while preserving their own well-being and productivity.
1. The Request Requires Unethical, Immoral Or Illegal Activity
It is appropriate for an employee to say no to a manager or colleague in the workplace when the request requires unethical, immoral or illegal activity. When in doubt, employees can ask themselves, “Would I want to see my actions shared publicly?” If not, say “no” respectfully. - Karen Tracy, Dr. Karen A Tracy, LLC
2. The Request Constitutes A Form Of Harassment
Anyone who experiences harassment in the workplace—and sadly, this is still a much more widespread problem than many people like to think it is—should never think they don’t have the right to say “no,” even when the request is coming from a manager. Of course, the real challenge is building a workplace culture where people can say “no” and not experience repercussions. - Carol Geffner, CB Vision LLC.
3. The Request Jeopardizes Your Health Or Well-Being
You always need to protect your own well-being and health—that comes first, period. So if your manager asks you to do something that jeopardizes this, you have every right to say “no.” Being open and transparent, clearly articulating why this would negatively affect your health, and offering an alternative solution will ensure the message is heard with an open mind. - Alex Draper, DX Learning Solutions
4. A Boundary Is Being Crossed
Boundaries may be crossed when an employee is asked to do something that goes against their values or beliefs. Other times when it is appropriate for employees to say “no” because boundaries are being crossed include when they are being asked to do work that goes beyond their job description or abilities, when they are being subjected to harassment or discrimination, and when their personal space or time is being invaded. - Lara Augusta, Embracing Potentiality
5. You Aren’t Confident You Can Complete The Task
It’s appropriate for an employee to say “no” when they don’t feel comfortable or confident that they can complete a task or take on additional responsibility. However, it should be done respectfully, with an explanation as to why, and the employee should offer alternative solutions whenever possible. - Peter Boolkah, The Transition Guy
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6. Anything That Doesn’t Align With DEI
Any request that goes against, or even is not in line with, diversity, equity and inclusion is a matter of concern, and every employee is entitled to say “no.” A proper explanation of “no,” backed by productive communication, may even help an organization change its culture once people better understand others’ needs and the emotions that inform them about those needs. This example works for all unmet needs. - Dominik Szot, MIA
7. The Request Is Outside Of Your Capabilities And Capacity
Until they can trust your “no,” they can’t trust your “yes.” “No” is a good indicator of boundaries and knowing your capacity and capabilities. “No” people are trust builders. They know to say “no” when something is outside of their capabilities and capacity (and they aren’t able to take it on with a learning curve). It’s perfectly acceptable to say, “No, this won’t fit on my plate this week,” and offer an alternative. - Carry Metkowski, Carry Metkowski
8. The Task Conflicts With Your Core Values
An instance in which employees should say “no” is when tasks conflict with their core values, which are vital for personal and professional integrity. To communicate refusal, employees should identify the compromised value, explain potential consequences and discuss alternatives respectfully. This approach fosters a workplace that values ethics and individual principles. - Thomas Lim, Technicorum Holdings
9. The Request Isn’t Moral, Ethical, Legal Or Culturally Consistent
“Is the request moral, ethical, legal and culturally consistent? If so, am I able to complete it within the requested time frame?” I recommend employees use these questions to decide when and where to say “no.” Say “no” with tact and confidence, and whenever possible, offer a reasonable alternative. For example, “I am not able to do what you are asking, however, we could do this other thing as an alternative.” - Dr. Ron N Hurst, Developing Leaders
10. The Task Conflicts With Your Job Responsibilities
Say “no” when what you are asked to do conflicts with your job responsibilities or values. When communicating a “no,” it’s important to be respectful, clear and offer alternative solutions. Employees should also consider potential consequences and the impact on the relationship with the manager or colleague. Effective communication can help maintain healthy working relationships and avoid conflicts. - Jonathan H. Westover, Ph.D, Human Capital Innovations, LLC
11. You’re Overworked, And The Quality Of Your Work Is Declining
When an employee is truly overworked to the point that the quality of their work is declining due to them taking on too many tasks, it is appropriate for them to softly say “no” to a manager when given additional work. Make sure to explain the reasoning to your manager so that they fully understand how taking on too many tasks at once will impact the quality of your work. - Luke Feldmeier, Online Leadership Training - Career and Leadership Accelerator for Engineers
12. Only After Considering Commitments And Other Solutions
Employees must carefully consider all work requests in the context of their own responsibilities and commitments. Before saying “no” to the request, they need to ask questions to grasp its importance and help provide alternative solutions. This approach ensures the employee is still being helpful without compromising the relationship, their own priorities or the organization’s needs. - Brian Houp, ReZone Coaching
13. In Any Situation, As Long As You Explain Why
“No” is a perfectly acceptable answer to anything, but it is never the complete sentence. The key is to explain why the answer is a “no.” This level of transparency doesn’t leave people second-guessing; it creates clarity and shows that you care enough about the relationship to discuss it. - Justin Patton, The Trust Architect Group
14. The Request Puts Organizational Values Or Safety At Risk
There could be many instances when an employee should say “no”—such as when something goes against the organization’s vision, mission, purpose and values, or when safety is being put at risk. In those instances, one effective way to communicate the “no” is to ask a question, such as, “Help me understand…” or, “Can you unpack that for me?” Framing it in this way requires that the requester answers in a nonconfrontational way. - Dr. Mike Smith, John Mattone Global
15. Always—But Only If You Offer A Solution
It is always appropriate for an employee to say “no.” We don’t want an organization of “yes” men and women. But don’t come to the table with a roadblock; if you are going to say “no,” also come up with a solution. - Nick Leighton, Exactly Where You Want to Be
16. The Request Isn’t Important Or Urgent
If the request is not important and not urgent, saying “no” is probably a must every time. If a task is urgent and not important, you need to understand why it should be done before any task that is important and not urgent. That was the prioritization aspect, of course; the decision to say “no” is also linked to the organization’s culture and values. If a request is important, it is in line with the values. Sadly, requests are too often not in line. - Julien Fortuit, Julien Fortuit Agency
