567 | Redefining Leadership: An Owner’s Journey of Personal Growth

Chris LoCurto 0:00
We're diving deep into the transformative journey of a seasoned business owner who credits much success and leadership and business growth to his profound personal development, find out how that is coming up next.

Welcome to the Chris LoCurto show where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are. Welcome to the show, folks. I hope you're having a fabulous day wherever you are.

Today we are talking about the connection between personal growth and professional excellence. And I am excited because I am joined by my good friend, business owner and leader Patrick Devereaux. Patrick, welcome to the show.

Patrick Devereux 0:58
Chris, thank you so much for having me. Very glad to be here.

Chris LoCurto 1:02
Brother. It's so good to have you on. It has been fun. We've known each other Gosh, I don't know how many years now it's been it's been a long time. But it's been great watching your journey. It's been great. Seeing you grow in so many different areas. And it's just been great becoming friends along the way as well. Thank you.

So I love having people on the show that can help other people recognize that, you know, being successful isn't just business. It isn't just money. It's it's all areas of life. It's personal growth. It's fatherhood, you're, you're a great father, a great man. So I'm excited to dive into this personal journey with you.

Patrick Devereux 1:42
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it and looking forward to talking about it and hopefully, you know, show the importance of the things I learned in the process of where it impacts me, professionally and personally.

Chris LoCurto 1:57
So I always make jokes when we're at events and stuff that you know, you're one of our drug pushers. Yes. So let's explain that. Let's explain what that means. Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Patrick Devereux 2:10
So I do sell drugs for a living. I'm a licensed pharmacist and in the Birmingham area. I am the president of Family Medical Services we own for retail pharmacies in the Birmingham area, and actually have been I've been with this company, I've been in different roles since 2006.

And have kind of worked my way up through leadership and our leadership structure took over as CEO and President 2017. And that's what brought me to look for some leadership development. I needed that I needed someone to give me a playbook of really all I was looking for was a playbook. I said, Give me Give me Give me a list of things to do. To just make money and get my team to do what I need them to do.

That was that was literally what I think I probably said on the Discovery calls with withdrawal at the time. So I just, I need coaching, I need you to tell me what to do. You know, I need you to show me how to make money and show me how to lead an organization.

You know, I've been I've been in different leadership roles since 2006. But it's my first time obviously, you know, thrust into the CEO role, I thought I had a pretty good idea of what to expect and was definitely a little bit off in terms of what to expect so but that brought me to you guys, I actually have been following you since the entree leadership days.

So did did some did some Discovery stuff with you guys. And it was a good fit, and just decided to push forward with it. And it's been a great, great investment over the last several years.

Chris LoCurto 3:45
I love it because one one of the most amazing things is that you're a heavy implementer so you know you came looking for information, looking for ways to grow yourself, grow your business, which you have grown your business and you now are even doing other aspects.

Starting a new home health care type of stuff, which is just phenomenal and going really well. It has been incredible to watch your leaders under you grow. But I love how you came to us because it's not uncommon. You know, you know Magnus seminars and I always joke about my very first coaching call with Magnus.

It's so this is our Viking our Icelandic Viking. He says he says I've just been made CEO of this company and you have to teach me how to do this very strong Icelandic accent that we catch. You know, he He's a phenomenal business but it's it's fun to see how people recognize the need.

And then just you know, the most important thing is that you made a move you implemented you do something about it. And so obviously we've worked together on both business and personal growth. It's which has just been phenomenal.

But today we're focusing on how Next-Level Life impacted you. And for those who don't know, Next-Level Life is our two day one-on-one event. So it's one on one with me or one on one with Joel Fortner, you can bring your spouse if you want to.

But it's focusing on an individual to discover the Root System to discover what's holding them back. What's the way that they make decisions, you know, there's all kinds of stuff to help people understand where they are, why they're there, how they're making decisions, all that kind of fun stuff.

And then a plan on becoming, you know, making a better life if they want, you know, whenever they want to grow in and change, then we help them do that. So, question for you is what motivated you to come through Next-Level Life?

Patrick Devereux 5:48
Well, two things. One was A) I was actually at a retreat at the office, and I was upstairs with my group with Team 27:17, my Mastermind group was up there with Eric and Quinn and Tim and we were talking through some things that I just had hit a roadblock on something leadership wise and business wise, and I couldn't figure out why I couldn't get past I just couldn't do it.

I don't I don't know why I couldn't make the decision that I needed to make and involved in a very tough conversation, which I'm still not a huge fan of, but definitely wasn't a fan of then. And I had to sort of ask questions and talk through some things with them.

And it was that was a realization there as well. Maybe Maybe I need to talk to Chris about this, this Next-Level Life thing, maybe I need a little bit more insight into why I can't do this one thing, why I can't make this one decision, why I can't have this one difficult conversation.

And then may have even been that same retreat, we were having a conversation, just about StratPlan in general, I have not done one, but I would like to do one at some point. And, you know, a ringing endorsement of that was was when you said to me, you know, I won't do a StratPlan unless the leader has been through Next-Level Life.

And I was like, that's a pretty big endorsement of, of the process of what what is this? You know, what are some of the things the leader is going to discover in that. And if you know, if they won't do and if they will make the make the time and the investment to do it, then you wouldn't do a strap plan, you said you don't think your exact words were I don't need the money I want I want leaders who are going to you know, I that I can help but I can really only helped them if they if they're insightful within themselves and learning some of the things that we learned and Next-Level Life.

So those two things really were like, okay, maybe I need to need to do this. So I went ahead and signed up, decided I would just kind of do pay for myself and everything, I kind of just left it lifted out of the out of the company and just said, you know, I'll just make the investment myself and, and let's just see what happens. And then a few months after that happened a few months after I made the decision, had some some some rough personal things happen in my life.

And so the timing of everything was actually very, was great. I don't believe there's any accidents or accidents or coincidences. And I do believe that this was God's timing to bring us together and talk through some, some things, some personal things, some rough things that were going on in my life at the time. And to kind of get insight into a lot of things.

And so, Next-Level Life was one of one of a few things that happened during that time that really helped shed some light on some things I needed to work on, but also really kind of catapulted me into a place of health that and some really healthy community and some other things I was doing at the time really kept me from going off the deep end, I believe during that, that tough personal time.

Chris LoCurto 8:43
So powerful. And it was so great to watch, you actually walk through difficulty and struggle and have tools and have the ability to recognize decisions you were making and things like that. And you're right I don't the the the impact on strap planning and just business period. It is a waste of time in my mind.

If you're going to come in and do this big business event. And you don't see how you impact your business personally, right? Every single person does. It's amazing how many others will come through. And then they will do strap planning. They're like, Okay, I need to send five of my leaders to Next-Level Life because they need to see what they're bringing to the table as well.

So question for you as an owner and a leader as you went through Next-Level Life what what impacted you most obviously, there's a lot of personal stuff that impacted you. But how did it impact you as an own leader?

Patrick Devereux 9:37
It helped me get everything in what I would call the right order. I really feel like that going getting I mean I really fought the idea that my my personal life and things that impacted my personal life would bleed into business, you know, and I just kind of fought that idea forever.

Fact I think when I came through drew the firt, you know, coming through coaching. And so I was like, Yeah, I'm gonna do all the business stuff I don't know about this touchy feely Next-Level Life stuff, I don't think I need that I'm good.

And then, and then when when my personal life did kind of have a cataclysmic event, and there was absolutely an impact on the business, then that was also a realization that, okay, I have to make sure that I am healthy in these areas, if I'm going to lead the business well, but also lead my family well, and do the things that I know to do to keep me healthy.

So really, where it impacted me as an owner is it really helped me on the on the, if I can be healthy, on the personal side, if I can be healthy on getting everything sorted in the right way, and focusing on the right things in the right times. Then I am healthy and effective in what I do professionally.

Chris LoCurto 10:54
It's crazy how much and I know you've seen this with other business owners as well and other leaders. And you just stated it right? I'm not going to do the touchy feely stuff that's not my focus. It is crazy.

How much and I, I wish I had a simple answer of this is why we separate business from personal right. I wish I had that answer. It's like the same thing with God while we separate God from our business.

And really, He's the one who created economy. So He's, He's involved. But I wish I knew the answer why people believe that they're able to separate personal life from business. It's impossible to separate your personal life from your business. Now you can keep personal stuff out of your business, and you can keep business out of your personal life.

But the way that you make decisions, the way that you operate, your business is not separate from you as a human being it is you as a human being it is you looking through the things that have impacted you in life, it is you hopefully digging through quality perspective, it is you possibly responding from desperation, because something's happening in your life, and which you know that a lot of things that we see a lot of mistakes that we see, and we help business leaders and owners to fix is because something's happening personally in their life, and they're making this desperate decision, because they feel like it's the only one they have to he's the only decision they can make in the moment.

It is absolutely affecting your business, your leadership, it absolutely affects the way you lead your leaders. How many leaders do you have under you now?

Patrick Devereux 12:33
I'll say, so we've got I've got four, right now.

Chris LoCurto 12:40
Every single one of those leaders, they're bringing their stuff, their Root System, their impacts their decision making, you know, their surface level responses, all of that is coming into the business.

And so I wish I knew a simple answer of saying, Hey, guys, if you just recognize this is the reason why you keep separating this, maybe you'll make the right decision, right, but I don't have it. So with that being said, we all need to recognize that we are bringing our life, our decision making our our processing our surface level responses, the lies that we tell ourselves, this is entering into the way that we communicate with team members, with our leaders, with clients, with vendors, all that stuff.

So question I have is, it's been a few years now, what have you noticed, that is different about how you make decisions now?

Patrick Devereux 13:35
I think now is recognizing when things are feeling out of balance, how to get back into it, recognizing one of the things we walk through in Next-Level Life a lot was was what what are the things that keep me healthy?

What are the things that if we we have focus in these areas? How do I you know, can I you know, do I stay healthy, and you 99% of the time if I'm starting to feel off kilter or think or I'm I find myself responding in different ways that are that are not healthy.

Or if I'm in ultra ultra people pleasing mode, or I'm in avoiding a bit of a procrastinator, when it comes to tough conversations, things like that, when I start to feel those things happening, I can usually trace it back to Okay. I'm not doing some of the other things personally that usually keep me healthy.

And if I do those things is right 100% of the time. If I focus on those things personally, then professionally, I don't have some of these challenges that are happening. Like it's like the avoidance of the tough conversations of you know, you know, people ultra ultra people pleasing and doing the things that just are not healthy, you know, they just drain you and then at the end of the day, you're just gone.

And when that stuff happens, it's this the skills I've learned Under to Okay, let's figure out why. Let's Let's ask them questions, let's get some perspective. And almost basically solve the solve the problem kind of ask ourselves, you know, how did that how did that happen?

When that's not what we're supposed to do? You know, when I'm not supposed to normally react that way? Why did I react that way? And usually it traces back to well, I have not been spending time here, here and here, that I know when I do, it keeps me healthy.

Chris LoCurto 15:24
Yeah, I think that's another thing, again, we absolutely see with with small business owners, entrepreneurs, we see it with leaders, there is this thought process that I don't need to spend time on me, I don't need to rejuvenate, I don't need to have downtime, you know, I can run 100 hours a week, and everything's gonna be fine.

Can't remember what my kids names are, but hey, that's fine, everything's gonna be good. You know, they'll raise themselves. It's absolutely important to recognize, like you pointed out, where if I'm looking at how I make business decisions, if I look, I'm looking at how I make personal decisions, if I'm looking how I interact with family members, if I'm looking at how I interact with controlling people, you know, for me, I'm I'm an 88S on the DISC.

And for So, I am bent to hate conflict, I hate conflict, I don't like it, God has just made it worse than I'm good at dealing with it. And I've got a lot of confidence in there. But it doesn't mean that I like, right. And the interesting thing is, is that I have to constantly look if you know, somebody pointed this out a long time ago, when your shoe of Jesus when he would do his when he would approach a crowd and he would spend time and he would do miracles and everything he would usually spend about a week away before he did another thing like that.

And we think that he just went from event to event to event to event. And really when you go back and you look at the timeline, he's actually spending time rejuvenating, he's actually spending time with the father, he's actually spending time growing personally to recover from, you know, not only healing people, which I don't know how you know how much energy that drinks from you, but also dealing with the crap that he dealt with, and the people attacking him and the accusations and all that kind of stuff that he would spend time recovering, and then go back out and doing do something we have to recognize, I mean, don't get me wrong.

I'm going to be I realized yesterday morning that I'm going to be 54 this month, that was a I didn't realize it was it was coming up. But it's here. When I was 30, I could handle it.

You know, when I was 30, I can run hard. I can, you know, I can do all kinds of battles. But here's what I discovered when I was about 37, 38. What I discovered is I was tired of the battles. I was trying to the fights.

And what I realized is that if I would start out in folks, please do not hear me say the you know the buzzword or buzz phrase of self care of today or it's all about you and you're should be self centered. And you should just take care of you and do spa days.

And all that kind of that is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the things that make me healthy. If I am stressed out if I don't have time to recover. If I don't have time with family that is super important to me. If I'm not getting out in nature and you know, going for walks and breathing good air, if I'm not spending time with good friends and just having conversations that are healthy, but not draining, right.

If I'm not doing those things that all of a sudden I discover I'm wearing down at work. It's affecting everything, every decision that I'm making, and then I end up in this horrible pattern of you know, feeling like I'm overwhelmed consistently I don't know what's going on during the day.

So yeah, that health aspect is crazy important. So would you say that your your mentality, your mindset, has it shifted since Next-Level Life?

Patrick Devereux 19:26
Absolutely. Yeah, it really has. It is helped me put priorities where they need to be I think that was probably the biggest thing. And that's just it, you know, really that's that's that's been the big minds mind sets shift has been prioritization and but also learning a lot about worth that word worse than where we get it from and kind of learning I think one of the biggest things I learned in the process is that I'm good at what I do.

And like what I do, and But I get a lot of worth from it. And sometimes if I, you know, didn't think I was getting worth in any other areas of my life, I would just kind of jump into something I was good at and, and just sort of stay there.

And that was a big part of learning this and also getting worth from people and, and not setting healthy boundaries, things like that, that's really been a big mindset shift for me, I've been able to put up some very healthy boundaries in my life with, with people I never thought I would be able to put up with.

And, you know, it just it just that kind of thing just changed it. And that really impacted me professionally as well, you know, then I would recognize those things when they happen when I'm not setting boundaries, when I'm not focusing on the right things, I usually can recognize why it's like, okay, that's, it's because of this, you know, it's because of or it's because I'm out of out of kilter here or wherever.

But that's, that's been the big mindset shift, I believe, has been, you know, what I do for a living is important, I love what I do. But it doesn't have to be all consuming all, whatever.

Now, when the ox is in the ditch, we get it out of the ditch, you know, sometimes you just have, you do have to run hard, sometimes sometimes you got to work a little extra to take care of your, your, your team, when they need some stuff that happens if they need a break, or if they're off unexpectedly, you know, we just we make those shifts, but it's not a the mindset is not I have to do that.

I have to you know, it's like, I'll do it. But the mindset isn't, I need to do it. So everybody, I mean, I'll just I think a lot of things I did professionally were to be seen, I need to be busy, I need to be seen working, I need to be the hardest working person here.

First, then last out, you know, and just busted, busted, busted, busted at the expense of everything else. And this really helped me really shift and prioritize that cast, there's --

Chris LoCurto 21:54
I don't think we're going to have enough time in the day to get to everything. Yeah, but you just hit some, you know, you just keep hitting these amazing aspects, one of those being now you set healthy boundaries, and you've done a really good job on that.

And one being the, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna translate this a little bit into the amount of work time and stress has changed. So let me just ask those two questions. What was it like trying to set healthy boundaries before? And what is it like now?

Patrick Devereux 22:24
It's a little easier now. Because I know that really, and truly, at the end of the day, this was just a question that came up in the event. So what happens if you set a healthy boundary with this person?

Well, they're gonna get mad. All right, so what if they get mad? What are they going to do? Are you going to be out of their life forever? Because you put a healthy boundary up here now, you know.

And I think that's been done that, you know, I've had had some conversations over the last few months that just had to, you know, had to have a healthy boundary put in to say, you know, I just, I don't think I'm gonna have this conversation with you. And the world did not end.

I was not, I was not thrown out of a group of people or a family. You know, that wasn't, it was just the world didn't end. And that's just the way it went. So yeah, no, I think that that really changed it because I wasn't operating out of this place of fear of, what's that person going to think?

They're gonna hate me forever, because I didn't receive something they were throwing at me that was just incorrect and wrong. You know, and it didn't, it just didn't happen. It was just, it just it just ended right there, where it's like, yep, just we're just not going to have this conversation.

We can talk about anything else you want, but not this. And that was it wasn't disrespectful. It wasn't dishonouring it wasn't anything like that. It was just Nope, we're not going to do that. And then helped me a little bit with people to read professionally.

It, I mean, definitely, definitely, with with some customers and things like that, and team members, I definitely, you know, was pretty good or pretty bad about setting healthy boundaries, and just, you know, let people do are not really not really team members, but certainly customers and even some vendors where I just kind of got walked all over because I was a people pleaser, and I really wasn't able to set that boundary.

But, but I think that really has been tremendous in terms of being able to do that. So both personally and professionally, just recognizing that nothing's gonna happen if I set this boundary, even if they yell and respond.

Well, and I think you mentioned once that if you if you put up a boundary with someone that's not used to having boundaries, count on it being a pretty rough process. Yeah. But it did, and I lived through it and the world didn't end.

Chris LoCurto 24:41
So there we go, you know the confidence that you had previous to Next-Level Life, compared to the competence that you have now, especially in this area of setting healthy boundaries. What's the what? contrast those two?

Patrick Devereux  24:54
Yeah, that's, that's something it is. It was a lot of a lot of anxiety. In a lot of just physical physical feelings of anxiety prior to that, I still have that from time to time, when it comes to, hey, I've got to have a difficult conversation, or hey, I know this is going to come up, I still not the best at getting to a place of, I'm still not the best at not doing worst case scenario.

I always go to sometimes go to worst case scenario and things like that. And that causes some anxiety, but doesn't happen as often.

And I don't fear the conversations as much, you know, I used to, and I'm still not the best at this. But this is this is to contrast this, if if a team member was to come to me, you know, around this time, before this time and said, Hey, I need I need a meeting with you, I need some time, automatically, I am in hyper anxiety mode, I am going to they're going to quit, they're going to tell me I'm doing a bad job as a leader, they're going to have criticism, and that all goes back into other life stuff that I've dealt with, where it's like, Oh, I'm just, I'm going to be made to feel like a terrible person for having.

And all they want to do is hey, I need to I need to, you know, adjust this or do this, or I think we need to do this. It wasn't a personal thing. You know, and but my brain would just go there, you know. Now, when those conversations happen, I look at it as an opportunity.

And I do get a little bit anxious anxiety, sometimes when someone doesn't give me all the information as to why here's why we're having a meeting, like, hey, I need I need some FaceTime with you automatically, I start to get a little bit anxious. But then I'm like, oh, wait a minute.

What, where's that coming from? That's, that's not real. That's not truth. You know, we don't we don't know what this is yet. Let's just have a conversation. And in some cases, we've I've actually had some conversations.

This happened a few months ago, a couple months ago, we actually had a little bit of conflict on the team. And I had zero because of just both Next-Level Life, but also some coaching and things like that, through what I knew was the problem, the root, the root of the problem, conflict between two team members.

I was like, Oh, this is this is a teachable moment. I mean, conflict is not easy, but I can I can I can teach through this. And we're not going to it's not going to solve everything. But it's going to get us to a place of where we need to be because I've worked with Aaron and I said, here's what's going on.

And he said exactly what I felt like he was going to say, and we kind of coached through that. So going back to this, where does it impact the difficult conversations, it's just because I know nothing. Sometimes they just have to happen. And the world's not going to end if we have a difficult conversation.

And I'm not going to lose worth unless I choose to in that situation. And just knowing that there's taking a lot of anxiety out of it still happens, but not as not as bad as it used to. I mean, I look back at a few things now, Chris, that I used to get a lot of anxiety over and I'm just like how, yeah, thank you.

I remember he used to feel a lot of anxiety about this or that, or a certain, you know, anybody in my life that a lot of times brings anxiety or whatever. And I'm just like, Yeah, I don't I don't feel that anymore. I just got I'll have you know, and that's just part of it.

Chris LoCurto 28:04
I love it. Yeah, that was that was the first half of my life. Being a people pleaser. Being afraid of hurting other people's feelings, everything was my fault. And I come from a guilt and shame culture, where so many things weren't my fault, even though I had nothing to do with it.

So I lived in that place of anxiety, if somebody wanted to talk about something, or if I felt like I had a hard conversation, or somebody was screwing something up, and I needed to hold them accountable.

And it was interesting that when God kind of smacked me upside the head, in my early years, and he's like, grow backbone, and I started, you know, working through processes and creating these processes that we teach and the tools and the stuff that we do, and it was amazing.

All of a sudden my confidence level skyrocketed in my anxiety dropped. One of the things I like to say and I'm not this is not a scientific number, but for me 95% plus of fear and anxiety is imagined is literally he literally our brain telling us something that does not currently exist, right?

And then when we get into it, we discover it didn't exist. Anyways, you know, like you said those those fear of conversations that somebody's gonna come in and quit and they're like, Hey, can we get a different type of coffee because this right? Definitely, you know, it's just crazy.

And I really want our listeners to key in on this because I believe the bulk of our listeners also either struggle with this or have struggled with this this anxiety that you experience in business excite you experience it in your family and things like that.

So obviously not only have you put healthy boundaries in at work But you put it in, in your personal life as well. But what is the, if you could put a percentage on it? What's the percentage drop of your anxiety? Since Next-Level Life?

Patrick Devereux  30:12
Oh, at least I would say at least, probably I'd say 70%, maybe 75. And one of the things that you covered in the event really, really well and is what you've kind of touched on here, which is, what is what is truth and what is what are lies separating the truth of the lies.

And there was a lot of things happening at the time. And there was, you know, some things in my life going on. And I had convinced myself that I was terrible at leading terrible being a dad terrible, you know, a lot of things.

And we, when you when you start to separate the truth from and that caused a lot of anxiety, honestly, when you start to think about it, you know, it's that what am I? What am I started, like, kind of low ability, you think you feel like if you've convinced yourself that you are not a good leader, if you've convinced yourself that you're not a good dad, if you convinced yourself that you're not a good spouse, and doesn't necessarily mean someone in your life, put that into your brain.

Maybe they did. Maybe they spoken to you and you took that as truth. But that really alleviated a lot of the anxiety when I have to stop and ask myself, okay, what is the truth here? What's truth? What's really happening? And what like you said, you just nailed it, you know, what is imagined?

What is a worst case scenario? There's there that hasn't happened yet, you know, or whatever, you know, have had this something happened with the with the new business last month. And I, you know, it kind of stopped me for a second in my tracks, and I had to ask myself, Okay, wait, what's the truth here? What's What do we know? What's What do we know? Right now? What does the data tell us?

What is what what what can we see? Versus what are we going to assume is going to happen? If we let this overtake us? You know, and, and that's it. You know, I think there's just that, that really separating truth from lies is something I probably do almost every day, when when, if I start to feel some anxiety, I feel like that really, really does play a role in that for sure.

And, you know, really had a big impact on me, when we really separated that out, I think we the event, I think we we listed it, you know, we went we went in into the different aspects of life. And we listed those things out.

What are what are truths? What are lies, what are the things that we have, and separating those out was a big part of, of being both effective personally and professionally, just keeping that anxiety down and, you know, getting the words from the right places.

Chris LoCurto 32:42
Yeah, exactly, exactly. Now, you also the basis that the foundation of Next-Level Life is the Root System, we got a chance to walk through your Root System and learning about your Root System.

And so for those that don't know out there, what we talk about, and we've got a couple episodes out there, we'll link them in the in the description that you should follow as far as learning about your Root System. So just a quick summary is, it's all of these things that you've been trained on.

Now, when we do Next-Level Life, one of the things we say is, we don't make any victims and we don't make any villains. Our goal is not to make a person sitting in the event, a victim and it's definitely not to make other people in their life or past villains. Our goal is quality perspective so you can make right decisions.

So one of those big pieces is understanding those deposits that have happened in your life. And again, I'm really just giving a quick overview of Root System, those deposits that have happened in your life that have caused you to have a certain decision making style, certain responses, we call them the surface level responses because they're not authentically who you are.

They're what you're doing in the moment to this specific situation. An example of that is like we just talked about that that fear response, and somebody comes to you and says that they need to meet with you that would be a surface level of response that you've been able to adjust and so many people today aren't living well, because they're stuck in painful patterns of anxiety, fear, negative self talk in other struggles that keep happening, that maybe you and you wish you would stop.

You may lash out at people may shut down in conversations, you may feel like you always have to defend yourself and just not feel good enough. You may even be losing trust in yourself. seeking counseling advice from friends or tons of self help books aren't helping and not much about you is changing for the better.

Thing is you- We're blind to what's causing these patterns and struggles. And that's why we carry them with us wherever we go. But when we get clarity on the why, and grow awareness of our emotions in thinking, that's when great change happens. And that is why we created Next-Level Life.

If you feel stuck in patterns, you can't change, go to chrislocurto.com/nextlevellife, that's chrislocurto.com/nextlevellife.

So you've also talked about, you know, habitual responses that you've you've had before, how has learning about the Root System helped you to, to respond or overcome?

Patrick Devereux 35:50

Yeah, it's, it's really just recognizing that the reason why I do certain things, and I would say that it's both on on the I kind of have it, I think we think about Root System, you know, we think a lot about how we grew up and what we, you know, family and all that stuff.

But I also, you know, really place a lot of emphasis and Root System on professional interact and professional as well pressed past bosses, you've had other parts of your career, I've been in retail pharmacy, since I was 16 years old.

And, you know, a lot of my responses and things like that came from that came from in this being in a business where, you know, the customer is never wrong. And, you know, were placed, you know, working, you know, retail and customer service, smile, no matter what, you know, get it done, do everything you have to and then that really caused a lot of the boundary things to happen.

And of course, you blend that in with a lot of personal things in the Root System as well. So I think it's really just figuring out for fun, you know, thinking back to what, why is that happened? Why did that, you know, why? Why does that happen?

Or, you know, why am I acting that way? Or, you know, Where's that coming from, and I think it's not always family, but a lot of times it is.

And sometimes now went now that I'm a little bit more aware of it doing going through Next-Level Life and understanding where aspects of my Root System impacted, when I see pieces of my Root System come up, either professionally or personally.

Now I watch it like a movie a little bit, and I'm like, oh, there it is. There's that Root System in motion right there. There it is. There it is. That, you know, I'm not saying anything, you know, I'm not, I'm not I'm not even judging the person or people or company or whatever, that's causing that. But it's like, yep, that's, that's, that's where I got that from, either professionally or personally.

And, you know, there's nothing you can do to change your Root System. I think that's the most important piece that I can't, I can't go back in time and change things.

But we can be self aware and understand some of the aspects of our life and both personally and professionally, that have shaped it and recognize why why, you know, where it impacts our daily life and where it impacts our interactions with people and how we process and receive information, but also how we respond in stressful situations, that's probably a big part of it, I think I feel like with Root System that impacted me, was understanding that in stressful situations, I do this.

But that's because in previous parts of my life, personally and professionally, under stress, this is what happened, or this is what I did. And this is how I've kind of conditioned myself to respond.

But if you know what those are, and why you can't change those things that happened, understanding that reason why you do the things that you're doing, and where where that impact is from, you know, then generally, that's it, you know, making those making those decisions to approach a situation differently.

Chris LoCurto 38:54
So we've we've talked a lot about the how you fixed some of like the negative responses or some of those impacts, obviously, the Root System, like you said, it's not you can't change the Root System.

You just change how you respond to it, you change how, you know, I've, I still have people that have impacted me in my life decades ago, in these negative ways, and they've continued to do it, you know, there's, I have very controlling and abusive people in my life.

But instead of becoming a victim to it, what I've done is I've learned how to lead myself through those processes, which has just been it's been great, you know, like, you know, we talked about watching it like a movie, I see it coming, I know what's going to happen.

And so instead of responding horribly to it, or having to prepare myself I think every you know person out there listening to this knows what it's like to have to build yourself up for this terrible discussion or situation or accusation or whatever that's coming.

But instead it's a Nope, I know what's gonna happen, right. And I'm already choosing ahead of time how I'm going to respond to it. So that's so powerful dealing with the negative stuff. But let me ask you this, how has Next-Level Life influenced your leadership style, and in the way that you engage your teams, we talked about the healthy boundaries, but what else?

Patrick Devereux 40:19
It really it really is that self awareness of different aspects of leadership that I've carried over from other leaders professionally and personally, that I've gained some negative things from, and that had caused some negative things in my leadership that it caused rash decisions and, and responding in a way that was just not very good.

And when I would never normally would never respond that way. If I, you know, really thought through it. And so that's really where it impacted me there is recognizing aspects of the Root System that have caused my cost of failures and leadership, that caused some things that when I look back on it, I'm like, that should never have happened, you know, and it's helped me kind of learn about it.

And going forward, when these things come up, gives me time to stop and think when when a stressful situation is coming on, if someone says, Hey, I need to talk to you. We know separating that truth and not going into the conversation with my guard up and defensive.

Because that's how I was, that's just how I've been trained, both professionally and personally, that I've got got to defend whatever my position is, in this particular situation, in leadership, or whatever, or I need to walk into this conversation going, Hey, I know I'm right.

And, and I'm just gonna have to defend myself, I'm not even gonna listen to what you're saying. Not getting any perspective. So that's, that's really, that's really helped, that's tremendously helped in that area, for sure.

Chris LoCurto 41:53
That self protection is so so disruptive, not only to us as individuals, but it's so destructive to the process to productivity to, you know, the team member, the leader, whoever we're talking with, how has this affected how has it affected your communication, in like, your personal relationships?

Patrick Devereux 42:14
It has definitely helped me be a little bit more patient less reactive, goes right back to that whole situation of self protection, and I've got to defend, defend whatever, I can't possibly be wrong here. And it's just helped, it's really helped slow things down in a good way.

Where to be less reactive, more perspective gathering. Also focusing on what's really important, I feel like, at least perfect personally, and this is, you know, just my my entire life, I feel like a lot of stress in I think a lot of conflict comes from this innate desire that I have to be right in the situation, or I have to come out victorious. And I have to come out as the smartest person in the room, or I prove my point there.

And that that's just not that's just not the priority. That's simply put, I think, I think in the end that's really helped, especially with my kids, especially with, you know, co parenting with their mom.

And a lot of things that have really gone very well is that I'm not in the space of, well, I'm, I'm I'm the I'm somehow the superior or smarter person in this situation, that's just simply not true.

And you know, where this all comes from place of self protection, I have to prove that I'm the smartest person in the room or something. And now Now when I see that, I'm like, Oh, I think I used to do that I was bad at that. And I feel like that's really helped mend a lot of personal relationships as well.

You know, to where it's like, it's just let's gain perspective and ask questions and, you know, separate truth from lies.

Chris LoCurto 44:01
It is so interesting when you see the things you used to do and other people Yes, and yeah, like, you know, before when you would do it, you know, the the old saying you hate the things and other people that you hate about yourself, if you're doing it, then you hate seeing it other people.

And now it's kind of like, oh, okay, I feel bad for this person. Know, the struggle that they're experiencing in this moment, and I feel bad that they're struggling with that right now.

Right? What would you say reflecting on your journey? What would you say is the most valuable lesson that you've learned from Next-Level Life that you regularly apply in business?

Patrick Devereux  44:41
It is, it has got to be the healthy boundaries. And I feel like that has has just been everywhere, both professionally and personally. Knowing when when you've got to bust it and when you don't, and I think both on the personal and professional side I think one of the things I'm Um, I wouldn't know about struggling with but I would say that is, is hard when I, when I got to this place, I'm like, Well, now I need my leaders to do this same thing.

And there's definitely a case there for going into for Next-Level Life. But I mean, I've got one in particular that has gotten way better at this. But you know, it was really bad at boundaries, in terms of just thinking he just needed to bust it all the time and show that he's working, answering emails at one in the morning and stuff like that.

And then after this, it's funny, you know, in the last couple of years, I have been like, Hey, I don't want to see an email from you at one in the morning. I really don't I, I need you to not do that. You know, because it is, even if you don't feel like it is it is impacting you.

Personally, I'm sure it is, in fact, I know it is. And I need you to make sure that we're balancing and this is a key leader that I have, that focus has a lot of responsibility.

And a lot of things that are, I mean, you could work 24 hours if you wanted to, on this particular role, because of just the different levels of responsibility that are involved. And my message has been, hey, let's, let's, let's get some balance here.

You know, let's, let's show and there's some sure Root System stuff there and whatever. And we actually talk through that a little bit as well, to where it's like, you know, I'm sure that, you know, you came, you know, kind of came up around this, this and this, and I just want you to know that, even though for a while I was very much the same way.

It's not, it's not going to change if this thing that you're working on one in the morning, gets done during the day, even if it's a week later, it really is okay. You know, it's not an emergency, you know, it's just not. And so the biggest impact has been, you know, recognizing the things where I've areas where I've fallen short, and trying anyway, to work with my leadership to my leadership team to say, you know, that's, you know, you don't have to worry about that right now.

Right, you know, we can focus on, these are the most important things to focus on, let's just worry about this. But you know, if I send you an email, one of my friends has an email signature that I love. And I need to use this because I do work some, you know, I do work some weird hours at times, but not because I have to work a 20 hour day, it's because well, if I get this stuff done, at this time, I will have, I will be completely present and undistracted with my family when I need when when there's things going on.

I'm not answering an email during a soccer game, or a call during a soccer game when my son is, you know, I is just killing it on soccer field. So getting my leadership, my leadership team, especially this one particular leader to, you know, understand, hey, you know, you can set these boundaries and do these things and have some balance.

And I think him seeing me do that has had an impact. He's got a very young daughter, and he is very present and has has put the priorities where they need to be. I feel like he's really come a long way in the last couple of years.

So the big takeaway is, I think, where you start to see it impact, the best is when you start to see yourself recognizing and other people and at least in your leadership team, maybe saying, hey, you know what? You don't even though I used to do that I used to work 20 hours.

That's, that's you don't have to do that anymore. Because I wasn't working for 20 hours because the ox was in the ditch. I was working for 20 hours because I got a lot of work from what I did. And I was good at it. Because you don't have you don't have to do that.

You know, it's gonna get done. We'll get we'll get done well, we'll it'll it'll we know you're working when you're working. But you don't need to be missing a key moment. Because you your your phone buzzed. And you said I gotta go answer that right now. Like, no, he's he's actually, this particular leader is on vacation right now.

And I told him, I don't want to see it. I don't want to see an email. I want to see a calendar invite from you. It can wait till next week. You know, don't don't Don't Don't Don't do that. But anyway, the email signature thing I was gonna say, because I work a lot of weird hours as I was, and I you know, I'm good at setting boundaries now.

But the his signature says my working hours are not necessarily your working hours. Don't feel obligated to respond to this. If you get it late. You know what I mean? So because we're programmed to see that and be like, Oh, I gotta Patrick sent something, I gotta respond.

No, you don't. I just happen to be working right now. So that I can have some time off later, when we've got something going on with the kids or whatever. And I can be fully present.

But I'm not going to respond to you during that time. If you send a response to me during the time that I'm at a soccer game or something with the kids.

Chris LoCurto 49:38
Exactly. It's so funny because a saying that I heard gosh, probably a decade or more hadn't been more than that. Was somebody said, Hey, listen, my phone is for my convenience, not for yours. Yes, yes, I love especially in today's world where you didn't respond to me in five minutes. What's wrong? Are you mad?

Patrick Devereux  50:02
Are you mad? Like, did you did you? I love getting an email from, uh, sometimes, if I'm in the pharmacy, and if I get an email from even a vendor, it's like, Hey, did you see my email? When did you send it about 10 minutes ago? That's funny. That's cute. That's not how this works.

Chris LoCurto 50:19
No, I did not, I don't wait just for your emails. But the mixing things like I will tell people, you know, there's times on lockdown for for four and a half days in a StratPlan two days on the Next-Level Life and I will tell our clients and friends and stuff, listen, you know, especially if it's a conversation or question about God or anything like that text me just know, I'm not responsible for this, right.

And so there, you're used to that. They're like, okay, he's busy, he's doing something, it's not because you know, the difference in what you talked about previous to this is the worth aspect, you may have a team member sending you an email at one o'clock, because he believes he's winning you over, you know, he believes he's, he's getting more of your respect, right.

And the thing is, is that you actually tend to lose respect. Because if you're up at one o'clock now, I should say, for folks like us who have been through what we've been through and use the tools that we use, if you're somebody who's using people to make a business and make a lot of money, then you're probably happy somebody's sending an email at one o'clock in the morning, right?

Because that means that you're not focusing on your family, that means that you're not focusing on rest, and I need you tomorrow, to do the job that I need you to do. So it actually I lose respect. Now, again, the great thing that you pointed out is, there's many times, I will do something at a different time, because I need my time freed up for personal stuff, right? So it's not a worth issue.

It's not a you know, I'm working this late, or, and one thing I will not do is I will not text somebody off hours, saying, I will send an email, because I don't want them getting distracted and having to pull holding. But yeah, I love that. I love that.

That line in the in the email, you know, hey, listen, you don't feel obligated. If I there's many times I'll send something hey, please do not respond to this anytime soon. With what you're doing. So that's so powerful, so powerful.

So here's for other business owners, there's a lot of business owners and leaders out there who may be on the fence about personal development. What advice based on the experience that you've had, what advice would you give them?

Patrick Devereux 52:41
Going back to what we said earlier, I think is that there is absolutely no way there you can operate a business, I think and have it somewhat separate from your personal life. But you can't grow a business and have it separate from your personal life.

You can't invest into people and the things that you have to do as a leader and to put leadership with under you, and have the conversations that have to happen. Without working on the personal development, you can definitely maintain an organization I think, but growth is only going to happen when the leader invests in the growth himself, him or herself, just putting putting time into understanding what makes them healthy.

A burned out stressed out unhealthy leader that has no balance in their life, they're never the business will never grow, they will always be putting out fires, there will always be instead of trying to get to solutions and have conversations with people, if you're that wrapped up in getting worth from it.

You may you may be impactful and effective. But you're not going to have a team very long if if you're not self aware enough to recognize, oh, that's why I do those things. And that's that impacts me both professionally and personally. And, you know, if you're struggling with morale culture within your organization, it starts with you.

And if you can't get healthy, and do the things that are needed to be healthy and recognize what makes you healthy and what makes you unhealthy, then you're never going to have growth.

Chris LoCurto 54:09
Exactly. Exactly. Such good stuff, brother. I appreciate it. Thank you for doing this, this. This means a lot because I know there's a lot of folks out there that have heard about Next-Level Life and they've struggled with this.

Should I do this a lot like what you said at the beginning. I'll do the business stuff, but not the touchy feely stuff and come to find out you know, the personal development is actually the thing that impacts your business development the most so I greatly appreciate it.

Thank you for for spending this time with us. Sure. Thanks, folks. If you have been inspired by Patrick story, which I always am, and you're curious about how Next-Level Life can transform your approach to business and leadership then go to chrislocurto.com/nextlevellife all one word next level life. chrislocurto.com/nextlevellife. Again. Thank you, Patrick. Appreciate it. Hopefully, pretty soon here.

Patrick Devereux  55:05
Yep. Next month.

Chris LoCurto 55:07
Looking forward to it at the Next-Level Leadership LIVE Event looking forward. Well, folks, that's all the time that we have for today. I hope this information is. As always, take this information, change your leadership, change your business, change your life, and join us on the next episode.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai