4 Ways to Seek Help Before You Need It
You dangle at the end of the rope because of grit gone bad. The people who climb the highest get the most help.
Seek help before you need it.
If you can reach your goal by yourself, you need a higher goal.
4 ways to seek help before you need it:
#1. Get over yourself.
You aren’t superhuman. You have a narrow band of remarkable talent and a deep well of weaknesses. The person who thinks they can do everything is doomed before they begin.
Confidence is great. Be confident you’re going to need lots of help to reach high.
#2. Always be helping.
You get what you give, generally speaking. (It’s not absolute. Kind people are duped, and generous people are deceived.)
Show up looking for ways to help. Stop showing up looking for things to correct.
The person who shows up to serve always has a place.
#3. Say, “I’m thinking about…:
Before you launch into the deep, seek help from people who have already been there. Say, “I’m thinking about _________. Any suggestions?”
I’m thinking about…
- Confronting…
- Terminating…
- Starting a new business…
- Hiring…
- Changing direction…
- Changing jobs…
- Challenging the status quo by…
#4. Receive help.
You’re on the verge of failure because you don’t receive help. You want to give help, not receive it.
The height of your reach is determined by the people who hold you up.
How to receive help:
- Say yes when people offer even if you aren’t at the end of your rope. Let people contribute. People feel they matter when you let them help.
- Don’t demand help because you helped. Reciprocity is nice but not required.
- Go to people with experience.
- Don’t insult generosity by saying, “I owe you,” or “I’ll pay you back.” Practice gratitude.
Why are people reluctant to receive help?
How can people learn to seek help before they need it?
Still curious:
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You want to give help, not receive it…how true. My wife has lost most of her vision over the past number of years. It puts us in the place of needing help. So often the help comes through other people.
It’s humbling, Morris. I wish you and your wife well. Thanks for stopping by.
Excellent post, Dan. Here’s a possible #5: Keep trusted thinking partners close. The right thinking partners have the experience and wisdom required for the area in question. They’re trusted because they’ve proven so over time.
Thanks Hank. Yes! Find some people of experience and go to them often.
Great post .. your #1 captures alot — when I’m operating within my superpower — my competency that I find as comfortably challenging, my distinctive, and rewarding — why would I want to accept help? So I become blinded by my own confidence, the same spirit that allow us to take on anything then becomes an inhibitor to accepting help.
It was 1980-something and my boss was criticizing my work saying “you would be much stronger if you sought help A LOT earlier.” He was talking about exactly this (post).
Thanks, Ken. It’s funny how the advice we received years ago starts to make sense when we grow into it. Happens to me a lot. Love your expression, “Blinded by my own confidence.”
Why are people reluctant to ask for help? They don’t want to appear incompetent.
Another way to ask for help–ask he person–“I’m curious–how would you handle this situation?” “What have you done in the past when you had an issue like this?”
Thanks, Paul. Love your sentence. Frankly, anything that begins, “I’m curious,” is smart.
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great advice with the comment “Don’t insult generosity by saying, “I owe you,” or “I’ll pay you back.” Practice gratitude.” I’ve never looked at that statement from that perspective before, you are correct it doesn’t imply gratitude for a selfless act, it implies the assistance is merely “transactional”. Thanks for this Dan!
Thanks, Dave. It’s a pleasure to be useful. Best wishes.