Whose Opinion Matters
All leaders constantly hear opinions. It seems everyone knows what you should do. When I hear advice I’m always asking myself, “Why should I go with your opinion rather than mine? What makes your opinion better than mine?” Some advisors are arrogant and self-centered; others noble and selfless.
Whose opinion matters? In the end, your opinion matters most, even when you adapt to someone else.
Listen to:
- Expertise.
- Experience.
- Expansion. Perhaps you forgot a major component of the issue. Listen to advisors who bring neglected dimensions to topics.
Four types of advisors who share their opinions:
- Agenda driven advisors are in it for themselves. “What’s best for me?”
- Organization driven advisors are in it for the organization. “What’s best for the company?
- Friendship driven advisors are in it for you. “What’s best for you?”
- Big picture advisors consider what’s best for organizations and individuals. “How can everyone win?”
Experience indicates that advisors from category #1 and #2 are most common. Category #4 advisors are rare and prized. Nurture and honor them.
Values:
Values are at the core of who you listen to. Advisors who share your values are valuable. Advisors who don’t share your values always distract, dilute, and divert projects and people. They can be right in the wrong way.
Want more: “7 Ways to Identify Great Advice”
How do you filter advice?
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Great post today Dan. Personally relevant for me as someone who is in transition.
For me, ‘whose opinion matters’ seems to be a bit of a paradox. I recently shared this same sentiment with a mutual connection recently.
In different periods throughout my life, I had no problem yielding to the expertise and experience of others in areas that I needed guidance, insights, or training. It only became problematic for me in the area of values; when I found that underneath all the talking, the alignment of shared values was missing.
So learning how to filter advice has been an ongoing process for me. On the one hand, I’m not an island unto myself. Trying to do things constantly on my own all of the time can keep me STUCK. We need other people. The key seems to be in FINDING the right people who truly share similar values and can fall more in the realm of items #3 and #4 on your list.
Ultimately, it’s a balancing act of having enough humility to know when I need some help and another persons perspective (this requires trust) while not giving away one’s own authority at the same time.
As an aside that came up to your list of 4, it dawned on me that those can also be a natural progression or stepping stones in our life.
i.e. I can see that during the period where we need to identify and sort out our own unique gifts/talents, we would be at #1. Then we would either create our own org. or join an org. where our gifts/talents/performance are in harmony with what is best for the org.(#2) We ALL need true friends in life (#3). And #4: ultimately, I would want my unique gifts/talents & the org/people I’m involved with to have the most favorable impact on the majority.
Some additional perspective that came up! 🙂
Great thoughts. I joined the C12 group. A Christian roundtable group that is designed for open feedback from fellow CEO/Owners. Look into this group. It is great.
Dear Dan,
I agree and appreciate your point that people who share your values are valuable and people who don’t share your values distract, divert and dilute people, issues and projects.There are people who might look to share your values but later they just divert and mislead people. There are people who might share your values just to reveal more information or to gain popularity but when they get chance, they play their own tricks. I filter advice based on many interaction with the person. It is important to measure advice and action of the person. There are people who are very smart in giving smart advice but doing what they want and fit for their benefits.When people advise, body language plays major role when one is comfortable to read it. There are some symptoms that are common with fake advice- people tend to put their hands in pocket, they frequently move their eyes, they frequently cross fold both the hands, they will put their hands at the back, they will criticize more, appreciate less, they will appreciate you on your face,but picture is different in your absence etc.
However, there is one thing that may help to filter advice. We should see the intention of the person. General perception about the person and you must use your experience.
I was given counsel early in my leadership to weigh my critics, not count them. This dovetails neatly with that gem.
So true! I made a similar point in a blog post recently: The First Thing to Do When You Get Advice (http://inventorysystemsoftware.wordpress.com/2012/03/06/first-thing-to-do-when-you-get-advice/)
This is can also be a valuable insight for trusted advisers. How best to add value:
* look at the big picture,
* bring your experience and exposure
* expand their thinking
* leave arogance and self-interest behind
Thankyou Dan