7 Small Acts of Defiance
Small acts of defiance, like the murder of a watch, build an oasis of control.
My smart watch died a quiet death on the table by my bed. It hasn’t buzzed or beeped in weeks. I didn’t shed a tear because I killed it. It’s not broken. If I charged it, it would revive. I leave its lifeless form in plain view because its death comforts me.
I admire the carcass every morning. Before bed I place the mechanical watch that replaced it on the same nightstand to affirm its death. My current watch leaves me alone because it has a low IQ.
Defiance assert your control when you feel pushed around.
Self-defeating acts of defiance:
- Foot-dragging when the boss is pushy.
- Calling in sick to help them appreciate you.
- Gossiping when someone outshines you.
- Stealing office supplies after a disappointing performance review.
- Assigning lousy work to an employee you don’t like.
Powerful people don’t need small acts of defiance.
Taking control:
My small acts of defiance go beyond killing watches. I haven’t trimmed my beard since last October. I tend the fire because I refuse to buy heating oil that costs more than the engagement ring I gave my wife. I’m fighting for control because I feel pushed around.
You need not-doing in their life, especially when you feel pressure to conform.
7 small acts of defiance:
- Not booking meetings back-to-back.
- Eating dinner with your family when you could be working.
- Scheduling email time, instead of responding immediately.
- Eating lunch.
- Walking for 10 minutes in the afternoon.
- Scheduling focus time and closing your office door.
- Changing 60-minute meetings to 50 minutes.
I wouldn’t need defiance if I felt powerful, but until I do, I’m leaving my dead watch in plain view.
What small acts of defiance do you use?
Still curious:
3 Tips to Build Confidence in Timid Team Members
10 Ways to Make People Feel Powerful
How to Manage a Stubborn, Defensive, or Defiant Employee (hbr.org)
I don’t necessarily view those 7 as ‘acts of defiance’, but rather ways to stay healthy and productive.
I realized as I wrote this that my attitude is all about me and that others wouldn’t see things the same way. One day, in the distant future, I might overcome some of these reactions.
As a rebel at heart, small acts of defiance feel good every now and then, as long as it doesn’t involve dishonesty. One of my favorites is, after a busy work week full of travel, we don’t go to church on Sunday. We sleep in and go out to brunch. It feels good to have one day a week that isn’t crammed with responsibilities and appointments.
Acts of defiance feel like a reward. I appreciate your mention of dishonesty. Enjoy life.
I love this. Yes, these are certainly ways to stay healthy and productive, but sometimes it may be “more fun” and helpful to think of it as defiance against defeatism, disappointment and discouragement.
It works for me. Perhaps it’s not the most noble approach, but it’s what I got right now.
I agree with Sloane that your list is about being healthy and productive, but like Kevin, labeling them as defiance makes my core muscles engage, I sit up taller, I have a sense of power. So what’s the difference? I think it is a matter of where your motivation comes from. If it comes from a sense of values, from a concrete decision, from radical ownership of your actions, then it is defiance against external forces and internal lassitude. Here I stand, spatula in hand, cooking dinner because I value my health and my family.
I agree with Kevin too. For me, to get to healthy sometimes I need to defy other people’s expectations. Why do we overwork? Is it about pleasing others? I’m a people pleasure. It takes some rebellion to do things for myself. Thankfully, it’s not nearly as bad as it used to be.
Ha! Love this. I’m going to write down my “small acts of defiance”. They are several and some of them ain’t that small.
I always liked the meeting time reduction! Everything has a time and place in my mind! Some say necessity, I say as needed!
I love your smartwatch burial! Retirement is on step farther, remove the watch…LOL