Every day, we are faced with challenges, tough decisions and seemingly endless everyday tasks that take up our time and energy. Sometimes, we don’t always see the results we’d hoped for or react to challenges in a way we’re proud of. Finding the resilience to keep going after failure, mental health challenges, burnout, loss and other setbacks can seem impossible, but there are steps you can take to build that ability to get back up when you’re knocked down.
Below, 15 members of Forbes Coaches Council share real examples of advice they’ve given a client to help them bounce back from a tough situation and carry that strength and momentum forward. Learn how you can build your own resilience from these inspiring stories.
Members pictured from left to right.
Photos courtesy of the individual members.1. Practice Coherence Techniques
A CEO was dissatisfied with his work and his life. He was running through his day putting out fires and arrived home so irritable that only his dog wanted to be with him. He would toss and turn at night, reliving his frustrations. To build his resilience, he practiced coherence techniques using a biofeedback tool for better health and energy, focused on priorities and found his purpose again. - Cindy Lamir, Impact Business Coaches
2. Shift The Focus To Internal Processes
By shifting the focus from external factors to internal processes, my client was able to alter the way they perceived and responded to situations. With this new mindset, they no longer felt discomfort from the unpredictable nature of life. Instead, they learned to remain secure within themselves and maintain a state of tranquility that allowed them to face any circumstance with confidence. - Gamini Hewawasam, ManoLead NFP
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3. Leverage Curiosity And Responding
Recovering quickly and remaining elastic is more critical in these times than ever! The source of this ability is the skill of self-management. The client I have in mind leveraged the skills we teach—curiosity and responding—to change her perspective. She found the capacity to continue when she saw the situation from a different frame of reference and worked to be wholly objective. - Tia Buckham-White, Notre Internationale
4. Focus On Your Strengths To Build An Action Plan
I was working with a COO of a family-owned business who just went back to work after maternity leave. She struggled with self-image while finding her place back in the company. We first worked on bringing awareness to her strengths, and then we used them to design an action plan that started with small steps that helped build momentum. - Joyce Talag, Joyful Transformations LLC
5. Be Kind To Yourself
On one occasion, one of my clients (an HR director) lost her composure and was holding back tears before going on stage. Why? Her CEO had told her she had forgotten to include the employees from a recently acquired company on a list of long-tenured employees to call up on stage and thank publicly. I adapted her speech and helped her express her emotions with self-kindness and no judgment. Resilience comes when emotions are dosed with enough kind attention. - Mark Antoine, Inspired Keynotes
6. Focus On Prevention Over A Cure
I helped one of my clients build more resilience by focusing on prevention rather than a cure. This approach focused on the client becoming more aware of the situations that tended to lower their energy. We then built a resilience plan that included personal well-being, mental fitness training, boundary management and more space for reflection. The client felt more present and prepared every day. - Andrew Tallents, The Tallents Partnership Limited
7. Reflect On Previous Successes
Reminding the client of when they were resilient reminds them they have the power within them to be resilient again. This is where having a history with someone is important. - Lisa Rangel, Chameleon Resumes LLC
8. Visualize The Desired Outcome
Resilience is challenged when fear and feelings of being overwhelmed or exhausted outweigh passion. This equation is often a helpful reference to first identify the issue and then quell fear, resolve feelings of being overwhelmed or address exhaustion. Equally important, visualization of the desired outcome can help renew purpose, reignite passion and drive action—all of which contribute to long-term progress and eventual success. - Christy Charise, Strategic Advisor
9. Express Positive And Negative Emotions
For executive teams within the work context, resilience operates at three levels: individual, team and organizational. Individuals with close relationships and teams built on trust are more likely to have the resilience to bounce back from setbacks. Research shows that the freedom to express positive and negative emotions constructively builds resilience through closeness and trust. - James Hotaling, N2Growth
10. Make Digital Connections More Personal
In 2020, many of my clients had to pivot from offering in-person services to creating and monetizing online programs and experiences. For in-person service providers, offering online-only services is challenging—they don’t get the same energetic connection with their clients. By mirroring the in-person experience in a digital world, I helped my clients create stronger businesses. - Vix Reitano, Consulting by Vix Reitano
11. Embrace Meditation
To help my clients build more resilience, I teach them how to meditate. Meditation can help reduce stress and anxiety, and it can also help increase focus and concentration. Options can include a guided meditation or simple counting of the breath. When I teach my clients how to meditate, they build a foundation for a more resilient life. - Anna Tan, Coaching Go Where
12. Seek Out And Act On Feedback
A client had created tense peer and direct report relationships. I shared this feedback with him so he understood how he was perceived. We identified his critical stakeholders and created a plan to engage each of them, share regret for past behavior and ask for a chance to rebuild trust. We reviewed weekly interactions and asked for feedback, resulting in client resilience and elevated trust and influence. - Jill Helmer, Jill Helmer Consulting
13. Establish Healthy Boundaries
Grit is the enemy of resilience. My client was using work as a coping mechanism. The more stressed she was, the more she worked. As a result, her performance suffered, her team resented her and she responded negatively to change. By elevating her self-awareness, adding healthy boundaries and developing tiny habits to refuel daily, she gained more clarity and calm, which fueled a positive impact. - Erin Urban, UPPSolutions, LLC
14. Ask Future-Thinking Questions
Recalling a high point and asking future-thinking questions are highly effective here. “Think of a time in the past when you were resilient. How did it feel? How did it help you? How did it help others? How did it help your community? Your family? Your work?” Then ask, “If you were resilient right now, what would your life look like a year from today? What would you be celebrating as a result of your resilience?” - Laura DeCarlo, Career Directors International
15. Build Your Personal Brand Story And Pitch
Many of my clients are career changers in their 40s and 50s. The biggest obstacle they face is fear that it’s too late and that they may not be able to compete. Together, we work on identifying their skills, experience and career ambition. This becomes the basis for their personal brand story and pitch. This increases their confidence and helps them see they have more pluses than minuses as a candidate. - Leang Chung, Pelora Stack
