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Society has witnessed many examples of one-hit wonders. Think Tubthumping by the band Chumbawamba. Or maybe the Delorean DMC-12 automobile. Many creative people have explained that their initial success produces even greater pressure on their next project. Author Laura Gassner Otting has coined a fantastic mashup word for this pressure: Wonderhell. It's also the title of her brilliant new book, Wonderhell: Why Success Doesn't Feel Like It Should . . . and What to Do About It.
What is Wonderhell?
As Laura explained to me in an interview (see below for the full exchange), Wonderhell is that feeling when the excitement of your achievement mixes with the burden of your potential.
Said Laura: "I'm seeing a version of myself that I didn't know was possible, who opened more doors than I ever thought possible. But through those doors, I now see even more doors that I can open."
Laura saw this happen when her book Limitless debuted at number two on the Washington Post bestseller list, right behind Michelle Obama's Becoming. As excited as she was about that remarkable accomplishment, she felt overwhelmed by the possibilities. She started imagining herself as a New York Times best-selling author and couldn't shake the image.
The Mission
Laura began researching the concept of Wonderhell by going live on the web and expressing her thoughts during the pandemic to learn more about what she was feeling. Then she began interviewing people about their life-changing experiences. Hearing from successful people reassured her that Laura was not alone. Every person she spoke to, regardless of industry, had experienced the same conflicted emotions that she had with Limitless.
What started as a mission to discover how to overcome this feeling of Wonderhell led to an unexpected revelation: "My guests were full of a tsunami of emotions that came at them at the very moment when things were supposed to get easier," she summarized. "I realized that you never actually get through Wonderhell; you just learn how to look forward to it, enjoy it, plan for it, and then learn from it."
Learnings
She was confident that the Olympic medalists, startup unicorns, and glass ceiling-shattering people she interviewed knew some secret that she didn't. It turned out they didn't; they just had a different perspective on handling the ups and downs, the wonders, and the hell.
Her interviewees also had a small voice inside their heads informing them that the situation was indeed frightening since they had never gone through what they were going through. What's the difference? Whereas most individuals would be anxious when they heard that voice, successful people were ecstatic. They felt driven when they understood they were about to attempt something new.
A key lesson Laura learned from embracing the feeling of Wonderhell is amazing things can happen when you stand right at the bleeding edge of your incompetence. It's what she calls the "edge of your comfort zone." Laura believes it's a space where we're often told we should retreat because it's uncomfortable. "The truth is," she said, "that we're never really going to figure out everything we can be unless we push the boundaries a little bit. So why not spend a little time right out there?"
Freestyle Skiing and Roger Bannister
Among her numerous inspiring conversations, Laura often thinks of her conversation with Olympic freestyle skier Alex Ferreira. Freestyle skiing is a relatively new sport, so Alex and his fellow athletes created things as they went. Every time a freestyle skier does something new, it resembles Roger Bannister's four-minute mile. First, nobody thinks you can do it, and then, when someone does something spectacularly new, suddenly, everyone is running a new sub-four-minute mile.
When interviewing Alex Ferreira, Laura asked him what thoughts he had when he was in the starting blocks. His answer surprised her because he simply didn't think of anything. However, what he said next in their interview has stuck with Laura ever since. "I earned my medals in practice. I just pick them up on race day."
Laura says that a pattern she noticed among the people she interviewed was that they were not focused on the finish line. They don't work on perfecting the finish; they work on perfecting the process. If you perfect the process and focus on the habits daily, then, as Alex Ferreira says, the finish takes care of itself. Go on and collect those medals while going through wonder and hell.
Through Doubt and the Unknown
Laura Gassner Otting
There was a passage in Laura's new book that struck me when I had the chance to read an advance copy: "To move forward on your own path through the doubt and the unknown, you must be forever willing to work hard at what you love, over and over."
When I asked Laura about the story behind this lesson, she shared two examples.
The first was about her childhood friend Brad Meltzer, the #1 New York Times best-selling author of The Lightning Rod, The Escape Artist, and eleven other bestselling thrillers. When he first started writing, he received 24 rejection letters. Brad credits the fact that it was so hard to be rejected as a source of his success. It also aided his ability to continually improve his craft, helping him to pinpoint exactly what he loves, why he loves it, who he does it for, and what he's trying to prove as an author of thriller novels.
The second story Laura shared was about Tiffani Bova, Global Growth and Innovation Evangelist at Salesforce. Tiffani is a highly sought-after speaker, and she proactively seeks feedback from the audience after every speech. She tells the audience that they can receive a copy of her slides if they email her and provide feedback on her talk. Specifically, constructive feedback. It results in an instant focus group whenever she gives a speech. And it helps her push through moments of hell to deliver improved talks for the next time.
Laura recommends approaches and attitudes like those of Meltzer and Bova to everyone. It allows you to stay grounded in what truly matters to you. After all, if you're doing something that truly matters, that's the impetus to work through the hell to find wonder: Wonderhell.
Watch the full interview with Laura Gassner Otting and Dan Pontefract on the Leadership NOW program below, or listen to it on your favorite podcast.
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Pre-order my next book publishing in October, Work-Life Bloom: How to Nurture a Team That Flourishes, (You won’t want to miss digging in.)
