Jedidiah 'Jedi' Alex Koh is the Founder of Coaching Changes Lives, Asia's leading Coaching Firm Specializing in Team Leadership Development.
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“You can do it! Just push through.”
“Don’t give up now; keep pressing on.”
“Don’t care what others say, just silence the noise and achieve your victory!”
As a C-suite leadership coach and high-performance enabler, I have used such statements to help my clients push the limits of their performance and achieve their goals. For leaders, often it’s the mindset of performance and growth that limits their ability to lead effectively or the self-limiting inner talk that prevents them from evolving to a new state of performance.
Through my decade of experience with leaders from across industries and businesses, I’ve noticed that high-performing leaders have strong discipline. They are go-getters, winners, victors. They pursue excellence, push the boundaries and seek greater growth. While these are great achievements and help to push the envelope of performance, the downside is that high-achieving leaders can have a hard time knowing when it's better to quit than to keep pushing through.
Why is quitting important for leaders?
Quitting is such an essential skill set that has been neglected and often has a stigma of negativity to it. But there is nothing wrong with quitting when the circumstances demand it. Quitting isn’t about giving up on something or letting something go. Rather, the added resources and opportunity cost to press on for a task that has no end in sight might prove more costly than pivoting. In order to make the decision to quit or press on, leaders need to weigh the cost and benefits, as well as the mental and emotional state of the team.
What is the art of quitting?
I define the art of quitting as the ability to recognize when to gracefully exit, consolidate learnings and prepare for the next focused sprint. The way of the quit is often more important than the quit. Typically, individuals have a “just cut the losses and let's move on” mindset. However, such a mindset doesn’t really allow the person to move forward, all it does is cover the deeper issues within. In other words, the person hasn’t yet learned to truly let go. The grace and artistry required to quit are critical to set up the right posture toward the next desired milestone for the team.
How does the leader know when it’s the right time to quit?
To make an informed decision, there are several considerations:
1. Look at the big picture. Step away and get a macro perspective of the situation. Gather insight from various perspectives to grow your understanding of the context and the objectives of the situation. This will allow you to consider alternatives and possible paths forward.
2. Get an outside perspective. When you are in the middle of a situation, there are often unknowns that we simply just cannot see. Inviting a mentor or coach into the conversation can help you to gain external perspective and perhaps a fresh take on the situation. This can challenge your current way of thinking, feeling and behaving and, in the process, evoke awareness leading to expanded ways of thinking, feeling and behaving.
3. Consider your intentions. You have to determine if the choice to quit or press on is driven by your own fears or objective truths. The intention matters. Take the time to evaluate why the current situation has evolved to this point of feeling a need to pause and reconsider. Consider what effect the choice to quit will have on yourself, the team and the organization.
Here are several powerful coaching questions that leaders can use to help them in the art of the quit:
- What must happen for you to find the resolve to move forward?
- What is truly holding you back?
- Who is this decision impacting?
- How are you finding congruence in what you stand for and your team’s outcomes?
- When you quit, what remains?
Leadership is about influencing others to act. And the hardest part of leadership is to go through moments of difficulty and make tough decisions. What sets good and great leaders apart is their ability to employ the art of quitting—especially in times of growth. The art of quitting isn’t about giving up but about stepping into a new season of growth and performance.
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