As a coach, it’s important to encourage your clients and support them in achieving their goals. However, it’s also important to be mindful of their boundaries and avoid pushing them too hard, which could lead to resistance, hindering their progress and harming the coach-coachee relationship.
To learn how to gently nudge clients without pushing them away, it helps to understand how other coaching professionals approach this issue. Below, 15 Forbes Coaches Council members provide their best tips for motivating their coaching clients to stretch farther in a way that feels organically supportive.
Members pictured from left to right.
Photos courtesy of the individual members.1. Realign Their Goals With Their Value System
One strategy that I use to encourage clients is to ask them about their values and how they can realign their goals with their value system. We review this together and then start from the beginning to see what elements of the action planning need to be redefined or even replaced. This allows the client to climb closer to their established goals. - X. Carmen Qadir, Coaching & Consulting Experience, LLC
2. Dismantle Their Limiting Beliefs
Often what holds clients back is a limiting belief. Even more often, they are unaware that these beliefs are impacting their ability to act. Almost universally, the beliefs are not based on absolute truth. By bringing these beliefs to light and slowly dismantling them, clients can not only see the path forward, but are also reengaged and reenergized to overcome and disprove what previously held them back. - Christy Charise, Strategic Advisor
3. Ask Questions That Help Clients Focus On Goals
My pro-service clients are achievement-oriented. They have big goals and want to get things done. They rarely need encouragement but almost always need guidance, ideas, strategies and someone to process their feelings with so that they can stay focused on their goals and make decisions they don’t regret. This requires me to listen a lot and ask great questions at just the right time. - Randy Shattuck, The Shattuck Group
4. Show Them The Consequences Of Inaction
There are only two forces that motivate us to act: moving away from pain and moving toward pleasure, with the former being the strongest. To encourage my clients, I start by showing them the consequences of inaction and then get them excited about the desired outcome. Then, I help them take small consistent steps and celebrate each win as they progress. - Masha Malka, The One Minute Coach Corp.
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5. Help Clients Clarify Their Identity And Desires
I challenge clients to get clear about who they are and what they want. By digging deep and really answering these questions, they achieve a deepened resolve and learn for themselves what I already see in them and for them. With their new level of clarity, clients can more confidently commit to and take the steps required to achieve their goals and live purposefully. - Lisa Marie Platske, Upside Thinking, Inc.
6. Use A ‘What-If’ Strategy
I use what I refer to as a “what-if” strategy. If a client pushes back, we discuss some “what-if” scenarios to determine how they will respond, which in turn often highlights the course of action I’m recommending. For example, a sales VP is too busy to hold his annual sales meeting, so I have him consider what happens if he cancels the meeting—what are the potential impacts on sales, morale, retention and so forth? - Shawn Casemore, Casemore and Co. Inc.
7. Help Them Discover Their Own Truths
Questions help people discover their own truths. Once they find a truth, such as, “I need to communicate more about our strategy with my people,” I ask them, “How will you measure your own success?” and invite them to create measurable milestones. A coachee is in charge of their own progress; I am not a consultant. Reflecting, experimenting, drenching and self-evaluating are also strategies. - Katharina Schmidt, Inspiration & Discipline
8. Remind Them That The Choices Are Theirs To Make
There’s a simple truth: Either you choose who you are or it will be chosen for you. I remind my clients that if they don’t choose how to use their time, others will make this choice for them. If they don’t choose what is important, others will do it. This is a simple and very effective accountability technique. - Alla Adam, Alla Adam Coaching
9. Use Real-Life Examples
Beyond using questions to uncover insights, it’s important to build confidence and belief in the possibilities of success. Using only traditional coach training techniques can discourage some people. Sharing a real-world example can help a client see that they aren’t alone and that their current experiences are natural. Knowing others have overcome similar challenges helps clients see that it’s possible for them too. - Brian Houp, ReZone Executive Leadership Coaching
10. Encourage Clients To ‘Learn-Apply-Reflect’
One of the key frameworks I use is “learn-apply-reflect,” with reflection being the most important part of retaining what was learned. Having my clients reflect on the year or the coaching process gives them insights into improvements that were made, critical aha! moments and hurdles that are still ahead. Those reflections can then help confirm that they are on the right track without derailing. - Kelly Huang, Coach Kelly Huang
11. Leverage Clients’ Strengths In The Coaching Process
One way to gently encourage coaching clients without pushing them away is to focus on their strengths and leverage them in the coaching process. When you focus on your client’s strengths, you are helping them to see themselves in a positive light and build their confidence. - Ryan Stewman, Break Free Academy
12. Set Accountability Expectations Early On
Ask clients at the outset of the coaching journey what role they would like their coach to play in holding them accountable for making progress toward their goals. This is a great way of empowering your client to reflect on and recognize what kind of dynamic supports them best, which can be referred to when encouraging or challenging a coaching client so that it feels comfortable for all parties involved. - Shamila Mhearban, The Leadership Growth Hub
13. Ask For Permission To Discuss Specific Topics
At the beginning of a coaching journey, I explain to my clients what coaching is and what it means so that they know what to expect. I ask direct and honest questions in a respectful way. Before any challenging question, I ask my clients if it is okay for us to discuss a given topic. By giving their permission, they are in charge of their own process and have autonomy. - Dorota Klop-Sowinska, DoSo! Coaching
14. Give Clients Space To Try Out Their New Selves
Connecting deeply and authentically to their more significant “why” usually opens an internal wellspring to fuel their courageous self. Feeling heard and understood, being given space to try out their fledgling new self and becoming their best will require a gentle environment. There, they can trust themselves to process this part of the journey. - Carry Metkowski, Carry Metkowski
15. Clarify Intentions On Both Sides
Some clients look for attention, while others look for solutions. The latter is ideal, and this requires the coach to be caringly fearless—coaching is about serving, not pleasing. The former leads to fulfillment, and the latter generates temporary satisfaction. Once clients understand the distinction and feel how much you care, work can begin. - Csaba Toth, ICQ Global
