Magnus Carlsen of Norway had parents who recognized his natural talents and encouraged him to take ... [+]
Every parent wants their kids to be happy, healthy, safe, and loved. But beyond that, parents also have aspirations and dreams that their kids will fulfill their potential, achieve greatness in their chosen field, and leave a mark on the world. Parents want to believe that their child will be the one who reaches for the stars.
To be sure, a rare set of talented and motivated kids grow up to become exceptional or among the best in the world at their craft. However, many others who have the potential to become elite are unable to realize it. Parents often cannot create an environment where their children feel motivated to strive and excel.
For your kids to become elite, you as parents must do many things, such as helping them build self-confidence, teaching them how to pay attention to detail, showing them that effort leads to results, and teaching them how to set and achieve goals. But the first step is starting them on an activity they love and enjoy and, just as importantly, where they have a natural ability.
Recognize Your Kids' Innate Talents
To become exceptional at something, you need to know where your strengths lie. If you put in enough effort, you can become good at almost anything, but you must build upon your strengths to become truly outstanding. Parents often fail to recognize what their kids have a natural aptitude for. They may want their children to become good at something that is not necessarily in line with the kids' natural talents but is important to the parents. Often, they push their kids into activities they are not interested in because the parents are projecting their unfulfilled desires onto their children.
Magnus Carlsen, arguably the greatest chess player of all time, had parents who got it right. They encouraged him to take up chess after they recognized his natural abilities. At a young age, Carlsen showed a unique ability to solve problems, jigsaw puzzles, and advanced Lego structures and would patiently spend hours working on them. He also had a very keen sense of analyzing patterns. His parents thought that the highly developed analytical skills he showed at an early age would lend themselves well to chess. Carlsen was five when his father introduced him to chess in a way that made the game fun and accessible for his age.
Carlsen's parents recognized his natural talents and encouraged him to take up an activity that built upon his innate strengths. Carlsen also enjoyed playing soccer growing up, and perhaps if he had been encouraged to excel at soccer, the world might never have seen his chess talent emerge.
Identifying Your Children's Strengths
Each child is born with a different set of abilities. Some people have power, speed, and good hand-eye coordination, whereas others may have an inborn sense of rhythm or the ability to analyze patterns. Our brains are not all wired the same way, and we are born with distinct capabilities that determine our eventual performance.
Harvard psychologist Howard Gardner's research suggests that our kids have eight distinct types of "intelligences" they can develop. Each one is independent of the others. Below is the list of the eight intelligences; use it to determine where your child has a natural ability. Your children are, by nature, more advanced in some of these areas than others. They are more likely to grow up and excel when their profession or activity aligns with their natural strengths.
Gardner's eight intelligences include:
- Spatial Intelligence (the ability to think abstractly, like architects)
- Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence (natural athletic abilities)
- Musical Intelligence (inherent understanding of rhythm, pitch, sounds, and melody)
- Linguistic Intelligence (skill with words, language, and communication)
- Logical-Mathematical Intelligence (intuitive understanding of mathematical and logical concepts)
- Interpersonal Intelligence (ability to relate to people)
- Intrapersonal Intelligence (being in touch with yourself)
- Naturalistic Intelligence (the ability to appreciate nature, plants, and animals)
Your child possesses all these abilities to some degree. However, even at a young age, some of these abilities are more developed than others. If your child is going to become exceptional in a field, your best bet is to recognize which one of these areas they show an aptitude for and encourage them to develop this natural talent.
Gardner's intelligences relate to each and every career, activity, and vocation your children will be part of in the future. This list is a starting point to help you match your kids' activities to their natural abilities. If your child shows a higher degree of Logical-Mathematical Intelligence, help him or her develop into a great (perhaps Nobel Prize-winning) physicist or mathematician. But if you harbor dreams of him or her playing professional tennis and push them into the sport, neither will your dreams come true, nor will your child realize their true potential.
Look for clues as to what your child likes to do. What are the activities that come naturally to them? Where do they want to spend their time? In some cases, it may be apparent, while in others, you may have to expose them to multiple activities and get a sense of which one they genuinely enjoy and seem to want to do. Kids tend to gravitate towards activities that fit their innate traits and interests.
Recognizing Abilities Is Only the Start
Aptitude is by no means the only factor that drives success. Magnus Carlsen's parents recognized his talents early on and encouraged their growth. But that was only the start, and so much more was involved in developing those abilities. Carlsen put in the hours, and years, of intense training, believed in his skills and kept learning and getting better until he became the best in the world. Recognizing your kid's natural ability and encouraging its development is not an indicator of eventual mastery. It is just the start.
