P-Valley Season Finale Brings Black-Queer-Attracted Men’s Storyline Into The Forefront

"I couldn't love him in the light," said Lil’ Murda as he described his feeling of love and loss for his former lover, Big Teak, during the final moments of Starz's P-Valley Season Two finale.

With palpable chemistry emoting from the screen and not a single emotional beat missed, Lil’ Murda, played by J. Alphonse Nicholson, 32, spends much of the final episode and the second season on a rollercoaster ride of self-discovery, identity, and navigating what it means to genuinely love another human being.

Whether it was a prison romance between Lil Murda and Big Teak (played by John Clarence Stewart) that was allowed to live free on the outside, or a two-season-long love affair between Murda and the opposite lead, Uncle Clifford (played by Nicco Annan), P-Valley's Season Two finale and Lil’ Murda role in it had shined a bright light on the lived experience of thousands of Black men who live in a world full of nuance and don't neatly fit or accept the commonly utilized LGBTQIA designation.

While new to TV screens, Nicholson is not unique to the intersection of dope hip-hop and the high-quality acting brought during the second season of the Mississippi-based show. With dreams of becoming a high school music teacher, Nicholson’s route to the fake town of Chucalissa, M.S., started in college, where he trained in percussion and theatre.

Being blessed with the privilege of working on some of the best stages and with the most skilled directors and actors in New York City and his native state of North Carolina, Nicholson's pathway to playing Lil’ Murda took him from street drumming in Manhattan to make ends meet to a chance meeting with P-Valley's creator and executive producer Katori Hall during his reprisal of Blue in Signature Theatre's Paradise Blue.

"As an actor, you want to show range. And I was looking for something that was going to challenge me," said Nicholson, a graduate of North Carolina Central University. "The role of Lil’ Murda gives me a chance to be an ally for a community that I know I have loved ones in."

Playing homage to Hollywood forerunners such as Pose on FX and Moonlight, Nicholson credited Hall, an award-winning playwright, with developing a brave yet raw portrayal of Black queer love, relationship, sexual intimacy, and beauty and pain that live within. DaShawn Usher, director of Communities of Color and Media for GLAAD, echoed this sentiment.

"The intersections of Blackness and queerness can be complex, complicated, and celebrated, and we deserve to see these types of characters on TV and in film," Usher said. "The cultural conversations that were sparked that defied masculinity, expectations, and assumptions in the Black community, both straight and gay, continue to prove why shows like P-Valley need to exist to tell these pivotal stories."

Pose on FX star and musical artist Dyllón Burnside echoed that sentiment.

“What we know to be true is that men like Lil Murda and Big Teak exist in the real Chucalissa’s of the world and while their stories aren’t extraordinary, seeing them on screen is,” said Burnside. “These aren’t stereotypical depictions of queer men, nor are they in the circumstances we typically see Black queer men existing in Hollywood.”

Lil’ Murda's character and its development during the second season of P-Valley have shined a light on an entire group of Black queer men that continue to live and exist outside the gaze of Hollywood writers' rooms or mainstream media. And while always existing in the Black community, Nicholson believes Lil Murda's inviting the character of P-Valley into his sexuality and love for Uncle Clifford was a watershed movement for TV, a mirror for the Black community, and a message of hope for all the "Lil’ Murdas" trying to make it work.

"I know this guy. I grew up with ’Lil Murdas,’" said Nicholson, a father of two. "I understand the pain in their eyes just because they can't fully be themselves. Not because they don't want people to know, it’s just they cannot say ‘I'm gay’ without feeling that their life is in danger."

In season two, Lil’ Murda tackles the often unacknowledged experiences of incarceration and reentry, the quest for self-identity, and the bravery to let yourself find joy in same-gender-loving experiences. He also navigates the dangers that come with being a Black man in America.

This storyline has challenged modern television's norms and provided space for new conversations. That’s why National Black Justice Coalition executive director and Black LGBTQIA scholar Dr. David Johns said it deserves its flowers.

"The majority of Black trans, queer, and non-binary people live in the South. We're disproportionately concentrated in the places where our families have labored and loved and made sense of our lives in this country we've built for free, forever, Johns said. “For this reason, it's so very important that the world experience Lil' Murda’s beautifully disruptive presentations of masculinity, Black masculinity."

Johns continued, “Lil' Murda is a gift to a culture of people who feel deeply, love intensely, and deserve for every part of each of us to be free—fully."

Jayce Baron, a producer, writer, and advocate for LGBT millennials, agreed.

"I love the approach P-Valley has taken when it comes to Black queer and nonconforming representation and the things the community deals with when it comes to simply living life in a society that doesn't typically support the community," said Baron, executive director of Beyond Ed Buck, a documentary that takes a deep dive into the West Hollywood drug scandal.

"From navigating fear, childhood traumas, following your dreams in an industry that may not be accepted, to not settling for anything less than what you deserve because the rest of the world is behind, the creators are covering a lot of ground," Baron added.

During the first minutes of the season finale, as Lil’ Murda glances into the broken mirror at Pynk, the strip club that is the primary setting for P-Valley, before his "Seven Pounds of Pressure" performance, the multiple faces of self glaring back is a moment that Nicholson describes as realistic and revolutionary.

"I learned a lot from this brother," Nicholson said. "And in the end, we learn exactly what mirror he needs to stare in."

Season 2 outlines a lot about Lil Murda's rollercoaster journey, including his long-term relationship with the Black queer community and his past as a teenage sex worker. Nicholson believes that Lil’ Murda is finding himself and learning how to let LaMarcus–the character's real name–not try to ignore the stigma the world puts on him, all while maintaining the same through-line.

"Lil’ Murda, Big Murda, and LaMarcus is an individual that gets to the bag, gets this money, takes care of his family, gets out of Chucalissa, and is on his grind," he said. "And eventually, he grows to love who he is."

Nicholson describes playing Lil’ Murda and navigating the complexities of the character's humanity as a privilege and a master's degree in TV acting. As audiences cross their fingers for Starz to announce the third season of P-Valley, Nicholson has two new projects on the horizon: Netflix's They Cloned Tyrone and Disney's White Men Can't Jump.

As a mysterious and unconventional leading man, Lil’ Murda has uplifted the story of Black queer-attracted men and the competing struggles that are the cornerstone of their identity.

With homophobia and a lack of access to mental healthcare still alive and well, Lil’ Murda’s character, Katori Hall's creation, and Nicholson's breakout performance could be the difference.