Why Self-Care isn’t a 4-Letter Word
I grew up in a world where you did your work without complaining. We didn’t think about self-care. It’s an unrealistic way to live. However, confusion about self-care is destructive.
You say, “Take care of yourself.” How can you practice what you tell others?
Self-care isn’t:
- Self-centeredness.
- Self-absorption.
- Selfish.
- Justification for constant complaining.
- An excuse for irresponsibility.
Self-care is:
- Learning how to care for others. “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
- Setting boundaries that demonstrate self-respect.
- Treating yourself with the same kindness you extend to others.
- Pouring in so you can pour out. You’re a black hole if you only pour in.
- Savoring small enjoyments. Self-centered people complain more and enjoy less.
- Practicing empathy.
- Learning new skills.
- Finding, accepting, and enjoying wisdom from others.
- Receiving help.
- Accepting personal limitations. Humility is essential to self-care.
- Building a sustainable future.
- Learning how to bring your best self to work every day.
Take care of yourself so you don’t have to constantly worry about yourself.
When you take care of yourself, you don’t disappoint others.
The purpose of self-care is reigniting your ability to care for others.
5 Self-care tips:
#1. Pouring out is pouring in. Small acts of kindness lift your own soul.
Healthy generosity is taking care of yourself. Exploiting others is destructive.
If you want to care for yourself, care for others.
#2. Set-boundaries that enable generosity. The inability to set boundaries is the end of compassion. When you can’t say no then saying yes is a burden.
#3. Notice personal energy. Do things that fill your cup.
#4. Doing hard things is a surprising source of energy if you don’t nit-pick yourself to death.
#5. Practice gratitude aggressively.
How are you practicing self-care?
A Surprising Thing You Can Do for Yourself
5 Self-Care Practices for Every Area of Your Life
“There is one who scatters, and yet increases all the more, And there is one who withholds what is justly due, And yet it results only in want.” Proverbs 11:24
Number 4, definitely! I knit and spin. They’re challenging and at the same time teach me so much. Developing patience and resilience at times when the stakes are low have helped me realise I can transfer those qualities to bigger arenas. Strengthening myself like this means I can keep going when the going gets tough.
Dan, This has to be one of your top 5 topics! This is great! Love…
“If you want to care for yourself, care for others.”
Oh, I love this one. Self care has always left me stumped. Great, I’ll take a bath with scented candles, have a cup of tea, eat a bar of chocolate but then what? (Especially when the well is running dry and we can’t afford to fill the bath tub.) But what if self care is integrity to your values? Taking the power to say — this is what is important to me and I will do it. Isn’t there something incredibly fulfilling about that?
Then instead of knitting being self indulgent it is a way to practice patience as Sue points out.
Instead of self care maybe we should practice value care.
Although, I still would like that bath…
D > CS = SR
When your demands (anything that requires you to do something) exceed your coping skills (self-management, exercise, yoga meditation, good diet etc.) you have a stress reaction.
I find a lot of people reduce or stop using their coping skills when their demands increase. That’s exactly the time you need to keep using you coping skills to take care of yourself.
“In the hunger, there is desire” psalm 37:4. Feel the hunger, make space to hear your inner truth. “Self care is anything that leaves you cared for, rested, and clear.” The Sisters Enchanted.
Self care, especially today, is necessary for me. I care for my Husband w/ Alzheimer’s disease.
Thank you for this thoughtful post, good stuff!
This is so helpful. We’ve been talking a lot about self care in education, and I’ve been stumped about how to say several things you said without sounding uncaring. Well articulated. Thank you!
Great post! I think of self-care as part of emotionally intelligent leadership. When I don’t manage my energy (not my time), I become stressed and tend to fall into old patterns of impatience, frustration, and reaction – instead of response. Self-care is self-leadership. If I can’t lead myself to be the kind of leader I value and respect, how can I expect others to follow me?
Dan, love the tips, especially 3 and 4. Good leaders tend to put the team first and forget that the leader needs to keep their strength up by focusing on their needs too.