Additionally, even when we do recognize the importance of communication, most people tend to focus ... [+]
A world-leading Body Language Expert, Joe Navarro spent 25 years working FBI counterintelligence in addition to spending time in a small behavioral analysis unit. Following his retirement, Navarro founded the Body Language Academy, where he continues to coach individuals and teams hoping to master the power of nonverbal communication.
He joined Negotiate Anything to share his best advice for using body language to find success in negotiations.
The Little Things Matter
“If you’re human, you’re negotiating all of the time.”
When we hear the word negotiation, the first things that come to mind are lawyers, boardrooms (or other business settings) and conflict. It’s easy to forget that people are negotiating all day every day.
“Not a day goes by that we aren’t parsing something in some way to work something out or gain an advantage,” Navarro shared. “So much of that has to do with communication.”
Additionally, even when we do recognize the importance of communication, most people tend to focus on verbal/explicit communication. While language is certainly important, so is behavior.
“The biggest mistake is thinking that little things don’t matter,” Navarro explained.
According to him, in the field of counterintelligence, this can mean strategically planning every single movement from the very beginning of the interaction. From which agent walks in first, to who speaks, to the way hand gestures are used – everything has its purpose.
Our everyday conversations may not be as intense, but we can certainly find opportunities to use body language strategically.
First, as with any negotiation, it’s critical to take time to understand your counterpart's personality, motivators and goals. This will provide insight into how to best approach that person, as well as which messages to communicate (subtle and explicit).
Second, where possible, aim to demonstrate confidence, power, and control (unless appearing timid or anxious is a tactic).
“We are an animal species, and we respond to the alphas and display of hierarchy,” Navarro said. “We are sensitive to the gestures that come with higher status.”
How to Appear Bigger Than We Are
So, what about those that are small in stature? Navarro has advice for body language that communicates power regardless of physical size.
First, he encouraged listeners to always maintain eye contact.
“Compensate by walking in with a presence that nobody is off limits for you to look at,” he elaborated.
From there, be mindful of your vocal tone and cadence. Oftentimes when we are nervous, our voices tend to go higher. Because of this, Navarro advises that to communicate strength and confidence (or seriousness), speak with a lower voice.
Finally, he encourages negotiators to increase their vocabulary where possible.
“As a species, we respond to whoever has the better vocabulary,” he said. “The command of words will immediately elevate you.”
The Importance of Benign Curiosity
The use of nonverbal communication can be complex and difficult to master, especially in real-time. Practice and preparation will be key, but for those looking to get a strong start, Navarro recommends an easy (and familiar) concept: curiosity. He refers to it as “benign curiosity.”
This is especially useful when dealing with somebody is who is excessively difficult or frustrated.
Ask questions that don’t appear too imposing or hold too much weight. Also, try to think of things you may genuinely want to know. Some examples:
Tell me what you’re thinking?
Where is your family from?
I saw this interesting building on my way here, do you know what it was? (If you are in a new city or foreign environment)
While this may not seem like “nonverbal communication,” the goal is to talk less and listen more. By getting the other person to explain things, you are subtly encouraging collaboration (and cooperation).
“The worst thing I could have done was challenge a suspect,” Navarro shared, “but by being benignly curious I got him to talk more.”
Follow Joe Navarro on LinkedIn. To listen to the full episode, click here.
