How We Heal: Bestselling Author Alex Elle Shares Book Encouraging Readers To Explore Self-Discovery

At age nineteen, Alex Elle went to therapy with the goal of getting to know herself better and learning how to heal more freely. As a teen mom that leaned into seeking love as she describes “in everything but herself,” Elle wanted to turnover a new leaf by writing to heal. It was then that she authored her first self-published book, a collection of notes to herself, that shifted how she wanted to show up in the world. Subsequently, a friend prompted her to stop hoarding her joy, disclaiming that “you never know who needs to hear your story.” And while Elle was uncertain anyone would care, she knew she had a story to share. Her trajectory blossomed from that moment onward.

Through her writing practice, she’s found that sharing space with her words has given readers a voice who previously felt they may not have had one and has inspired what she notes as writing to heal instead of writing to purge. In writing to heal, Elle has found it extremely important–as a Black woman–to share with others that look like her that they can create the lives they dream of on a multitude of levels. This has birthed her growing social community inspiring millions to engage in the path to self-discovery and her New York Times Best Selling book, How We Heal.

The Importance Of Words & Sharing Space

Literature and language have been powerful forces in Elle’s life that have encouraged her to write and create opportunities for others to engage in journaling practices. She’s realized that when people hear a story and then are able to share their own, it creates a communal exchange giving the reader their power back. This method has served as the foundation for her books. Embedded within each book are reflection questions that remind readers that they are their own teachers. Elle has found that this was the greatest gift her therapist gave her many years ago: “Get on the page, discover your why, and honor where you are on your journey without shame, guilt, or judgment,” she shares.

She models this by sharing within How We Heal’s pages a range of luminary voices, including Nedra Tawwab, Morgan Harper Nichols, Dr. Thema Bryant, and Barb Schmidt who share their stories of healing. This has been an important feature for Elle who shares: “The book is called How We Heal because I’ve found it important to have as many voices a part of the story and practice as possible. As I was transcribing what each guest shared it showed me the deep importance of communal care.” She has found that “we all truly do need each other in this life,” hence what may resonate with folks about her story and how she teaches may not resonate with others.

As a writer, Elle hopes that readers will realize that even though they may not resonate with writing, they might resonate with art, gardening, walking, or being in community. Creating diversity in sharing space, Elle has found, can bring us together on a deeper level in ways that highlight the beautiful diversity in approaches to healing. And as readers reflect on her words, that are inspired by communal care, she hopes they may state: “You mean I don’t have to write today if I don’t want to, I can draw how I feel? Or wow I’ve never heard of an adult being diagnosed with autism this late in life, I’m not the only one.”

Her audience’s response to this writing style, Elle has found, has been exciting to witness. She’s seen so many who’ve purchased the book go back to grab the audiobook that feels like a conversation with Elle or to listen to and partake in the meditations that are accompanied by music. “A lot of people are revisiting the book and work often to unpack new lessons in their lives. The response has been inspiring,” shares Elle.

Reflections On Healing, Affirmations, & Progress

When prompted to think about what healing in crisis–or global crisis–can look like, how to align affirmations with actionable practice, and staying the course through progress’ messiness, Elle has been inspired by the following:

• Healing: “We don’t have to heal by ourselves,” shares Elle. She’s found there are seasons of healing. Sometimes a person may be in hibernation, other times they may feel like they need their community and pursue collective healing spaces, or they’ll be in the middle of a spring where they are blooming in both an expansive and quiet space that warrants them to be both by themselves and in community at ease. When it comes to crisis, she has found that leaning into honoring what a person feels they need is essential.
• Affirmations: “Affirmations without actions are just words,” shares Elle. If a person is saying “I am enough,” she recommends looking at “why they are enough, how they are enough, where in their life are they showing up in their worthiness or not?” A surefire way to figure out if affirmations are working is being honest with oneself, which she’s found many find difficult to do. “It’s important that we get curious enough to find deeper understanding. Look at affirmations and separate them into actionable steps,” Elle expresses. For her, that happens on the page.
• Progress: “It’s okay to take a step back when the answer is unknown. Progress does not always have to be pursued,” says Elle. She’s found those she’s worked with often haven’t been told that enough. A big part of the process for Elle on her healing journey has been emotional rest. She’s curated emotional rest by focusing on the joy of healing versus strictly trying to heal hurt. “So many people forget that a big part of healing is being able to meet joy. Sometimes when they’re in the thick of it, the best thing to do is not to seek progress but to be in joy,” Elle iterates.

Authenticity & Elle’s Spiritual Mentors

When Elle thinks of her healing journey and how she’s been able to authentically share it with the world, she has found some great wisdom has come from doing what feels right and good for her. She shares those same words with those who seek to share their gifts with the world. Therefore, Elle encourages those that find it easy to succumb to the thrusts of maintaining a certain social image or presence at work or home to go slow and create space to assess how they wish to show up in each environment.

In addition, Elle has found the great wisdom and inspiration that she’s shared on her journey to come from her work studying the practices of those she calls her three spiritual mentors. The first is Pema Chödrön, an ordained Buddhist nun in the Tibetan tradition whose books and wisdom have inspired the masses. Second is, Maya Angelou, an author, poet, and civil rights activist noted for wisdom-filled autobiographies, books of essays and poetry, plays, movies, and television shows. And finally, Thích Nhất Hạnh, a Buddhist monk known as a spiritual leader, poet, and peace activist whose shared teachings of Engaged Buddhism through mindfulness, global ethics, and peace with the world. Her spiritual mentors have encouraged her to continue paving the way for this generation and the next.