Man with clasped hands with the word narcissism on wooden blocks. Personal ego or selfishness ... [+]
Different Types of Narcissism
Experts agree there are different levels of narcissism, which can be viewed as on a spectrum from less to more severe narcissism. In general, narcissistic individuals have an extreme self-focus, an inflated sense of self, a strong desire for recognition and praise. Narcissism can also include positive attributes such as self-confidence, self-reliance and the ability to celebrate the self.
When narcissism is a personality trait:
You can negotiate child custody with a spouse or co-parent when narcissism is a personality trait. There are tools you can use to help negotiate a custody agreement with the narcissistic parent. Making them feel important, validating their contributions to the child such as their mutual interest in sports or art can help bring the narcissistic parent to reach an agreement on things that are important for the child.
To make a successful negotiation with the narcissistic parent: Be clear and concise. Don’t show emotional engagement. Set a timeframe for the negotiation individual session and number of sessions. Itemize triggers that might set negotiations off track and prepare responses for when, not if, they occur. Preparing in this way can help the non-narcissistic parent negotiate with the narcissistic parent by recognizing how the narcissist is most likely to respond and what to do. Four tips to negotiate with a narcissist are:
1. Iron out concrete details-fill out a worksheet;
2. Play to their narcissistic tendencies-stroke their ego;
3. Practice emotional detachment-practice mindful detachment;
4. Stand your ground-maintain your sense of self.
A personality trait is not a mental illness. Being narcissistic is not evidence of a mental disease.
When narcissism is a mental health condition:
When the narcissism is more than a personality trait but a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), it is a mental health condition. These narcissists have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. You cannot successfully negotiate child custody with them. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others including their own children, to show empathy. They generally cannot enter into reciprocal relationships. This disorder effects more males than females.
This type of narcissism can be seen as vindictiveness, sadism, aggression and paranoia. A person with malignant narcissism or narcissism as a mental health diagnosis may share traits with antisocial personality disorder.
Distinguishing between the types of narcissism
To distinguish between the types of narcissism, narcissism as a personality trait is something that most people can learn to live with. It may only become evident occasionally. All of us can possess some degree of healthy narcissism. If you are accountable for your own behavior, show insight and can establish healthy reciprocal relationships, you may have some narcissistic traits but not a personality disorder.
Narcissism as a mental health condition causes friction in relationships and great distress. This inability to function can lead to a narcissistic personality disorder diagnosis (NPD). Clinical narcissism protects the ego using maladaptive coping strategies. It is characterized by authoritarianism, envy, grandiosity, shallowness, and a deficit of empathy and remorse. It tends to serve the individual with little or no respect for the greater good.
When narcissism is a mental health condition, it is not possible to effectively negotiate with them. It is difficult to litigate with them over child custody as well.
The grey area in between a personality trait and a mental health condition:
Because narcissism can be viewed on a spectrum, there is a grey area in between exhibiting benign personality traits and narcissism as a personality disorder. These individuals can be seen as exhibiting narcissistic tendencies in one situation such as at work but not in their home relationship with their spouse. Someone with NPD exhibits the narcissistic tendencies in all aspects of their life and the symptoms have been present from young adulthood.
You cannot negotiate with someone who has NPD, and therefore you should be prepared for litigation, financially and emotionally.
