Questions
A little over a quarter of all Americans have some kind of physical, mental, cognitive, or sensory disability. But not all of them consider themselves "disabled," or part of any sort of "disability community." For some, disability is an inconvenience at best — at worst a source of stigma and suffering. But for others, disability is also a part of who they are and a community they can belong to.
Many disabled people see their disabilities as just another kind of medical problem, or as a cluster of special "challenges" to overcome. Others experience disability as an important part of their identity, and feel how it shapes their beliefs, relationships, place in their communities, and even their politics.
Figuring out how you see and present yourself and your disability can be as important as knowing how to adapt to it, get around barriers, and deal with prejudice and discrimination. It may not always seem like it, but asking yourself some thoughtful, probing questions once in awhile about what kind of disabled person you are can be as useful as any form of specific therapy or training.
Here are just a few questions to get started.
When you see another person with a disability like yours, do you feel a connection or kinship with them?
Do you think, “There’s another person like me, I wonder how they’re doing?” Do you feel like introducing yourself and maybe getting to know them? Or, do you tend to overlook other disabled people? If you do notice them, do you consciously or unconsciously find yourself avoiding them?
Maybe its because you find it hard enough to handle your own problems without getting involved with disabled people. Maybe deep down, you worry about being “lumped in” with other disabled people, a group you know from experience is seen differently and subject to all kinds of stigma and discrimination.
What about people who have disabilities that are different from yours? If you have a physical disability — maybe use a wheelchair or crutches — do you feel any connection with people who are blind or deaf, who have intellectual disabilities, or who have mental health conditions? Or, do you avoid people with other kinds of disabilities, again either because you don’t feel much in common with them, or because you want to escape the kinds of ableism you see being directed at them?
Do you have disabled friends? Do you want friends with disabilities?
Do you draw – and maybe give as well – strength and support from fellow disabled people? Do you value the unique understanding you can only get from friends who really understand disability, from their own personal experience?
Or, do you focus more on integrating with non-disabled people? Are you worried about finding yourself segregated among other disabled people? Maybe you have spent some time feeling stuck in hospitals, care facilities, or other “special,” disabled-only spaces and long to fit in with a wider community. Or, maybe you just don’t think at all about whether or not you know or hang out with other disabled people.
Do you identify yourself as disabled?
How do you refer to your own disability? Do you even use the word “disability?” Or, do you use the name of your specific diagnosis — paralyzed, arthritic, legally blind, hard of hearing, intellectually disabled, autistic, diabetic? Do you keep things intentionally vague, referring only to unspecified “problems” or “challenges?” Do you use euphemisms, like “differently-abled” or “special needs?” And how do you prefer others to refer to your disability?
Maybe you don’t like identifying as disabled at all. Do you intentionally hide your disability as much as you can? Or, do you proactively reject labels of any kind, asserting that regardless of any impairments you might have, you do not consider yourself “disabled?”
Are disability issues and shared experiences interesting to you?
How often do you think about disability the experience and meaning of disability beyond what’s absolutely necessary for your everyday survival? Do you enjoy noticing and pondering how disability is perceived in society and portrayed in popular culture? Are you interested in various ways other disabled people think about and handle their disabilities? Do you look for articles, books, poems, movies, TV shows, and other art by people with disabilities? Do you find it simulating and enriching to think about disability issues?
Or, do you find the whole subject uninteresting, boring, or depressing? Do your interests lie entirely elsewhere? Do you feel it’s a waste of time, or maybe even a negative habit, to dwell on the meaning of your disability, or worry about the place of disabled people in society?
How often do you fight for your rights as a person with a disability?
Most people with disabilities have to advocate for their needs and rights at some time. But some are forced by circumstances to do it a lot more often and a lot more intensely than others. Does self-advocacy specifically about your disability take up a significant portion of your everyday life?
Or, do you mostly get by without having to fight and argue for accessibility, accommodations, and opportunities? Also, do you feel confident and empowered by self-advocacy? Or, do you try to avoid it as much as possible? Does speaking up for yourself make you feel nervous, vulnerable, or even a bit ashamed?
Do you get involved in advocacy efforts for people with disabilities more generally?
Advocating for your own rights and needs is one thing. Activism on broader disability issues is quite another. The two are related of course. But they have different goals, call for different tactics, and often have much longer timelines and elusive payouts.
Have you ever worked on an organized campaign of people with disabilities fighting for change in disability-related practices, policies, or laws? Do you spend time not just avoiding inaccessible places, but arguing to make them more accessible? Do you look at politics and elections from a distinct disability point of view? If you aren’t already, can you see yourself getting involved in disability activism someday?
Or, does coping with your own struggles take all that you have, with nothing in you left over to fight for other disabled people and bigger changes? Is activism just not your thing? Maybe you think it’s futile, because disability activism victories are so rare and usually only partial anyway. Or, maybe you just aren’t enough of a “people person” to feel comfortable getting involved with a whole crowd of others working on complex, difficult emotionally intense goals.
And finally, so what? Does it really matter whether or not you identify as disabled, interact with other disabled people, or make disability causes part of your life? Plenty of people with disabilities live happy, successful lives without engaging with their disabilities beyond purely practical adaptation. On the other hand, some disabled people remain detached from disability communities and culture not by choice, but by default — simply because they don't fully recognize the possibilities open to them.
Asking questions like these can help disabled people remember that having a disability is more than a medical problem or practical annoyance. Disability can also be an identity, and not just in negative ways driven by hardship and ableism. And it’s never too late for a person with a disability to rethink their approach and relationship to it.
