5 Ways To Boost Your Impact By Harnessing The Language Of Identity
It’s not just what you say; it’s how you say it.
The words you choose matter, says Jonah Berger, a marketing professor at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania and the bestselling author of Contagious: Why Things Catch On and Invisible Influence: The Hidden Forces That Shape Behavior, because they have the power to help you persuade others, deepen your relationships, and be more successful in your career.
And in his new book, Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way, he explains that some words are more impactful than others. “The right words, used at the right time,” says Berger, “can change minds, engage audiences, and drive action.”
Berger identified six types of magic words:
- Activate Identity and Agency
- Convey Confidence
- Ask the Right Questions
- Leverage Concreteness
- Employ Emotion
- Harness Similarity (and Difference)
The first type, which Berger refers to as the language of identity, includes words that signal who’s in charge, who’s to blame, and what it means to engage in a particular action. And while words used in this context initially seem insignificant, research found that small changes can have a massive impact.
Here are five ways to harness the language of identity:
1. Use nouns rather than verbs to help persuade
Rephrasing a behavior to claim a positive identity can increase engagement in that behavior. For instance, if you want people to listen, says Berger, ask them to be a listener. The same principle can be used to avoid negative behaviors. For example, instead of saying, “Please don’t cheat,” say, ”Please don’t be a cheater.” This method also works when you apply it to yourself. For example, telling people you’re a reader, rather than saying you like to read, can make you believe it is part of who you are, increasing the likelihood of you consistently doing it.
2. Change can’ts to don’ts to meet goals
When trying to avoid temptation or stick to a goal, you may be inclined to use can’t statements like “I can’t eat candy.” But Berger says research showed switching to a don’t statement — “I don’t eat candy” — was far more effective because it made people feel different. “I can’t” suggests we want something but an external force (our doctor, budget, etc.) is stopping us. “I don’t” switches the focus internally, empowering you to resist the temptation.
3. Turn shoulds into coulds to be more creative and obtain better advice
When you’re stuck trying to solve a problem, your inclination is to ask, “What should I do?” but that often sets up a limited set of options. However, when you foster what Berger calls a “could mindset,” you encourage yourself and others to “take agency, consider new paths, and turn roadblocks into opportunities.”
This approach also works when seeking the advice of others. Instead of asking others what we should do, asking what they think we could do encourages them to think broadly and offer better direction.
4. Talk to yourself in the third person
When you’re nervous and trying to psych yourself up for a big presentation, you’re better off making a linguistic shift from “I” to “you” when engaging in self-talk, says Berger. Instead of saying things like, “How am I going to do this?, talking to yourself in the third person (“You can do it, Amy!”) can help distance you from difficult situations, reducing your anxiety and increasing performance.
5. Be intentional (and careful) when you use pronouns
Berger says research found using “you” in social media posts increased reader engagement because it drew their attention and made them feel like someone was speaking directly to them. But when used in customer service articles, “you” had the opposite effect, suggesting the user was to blame. Similarly, a subtle shift in rephrasing (“Did you wash the dishes?” versus “Have the dishes been washed?”) can move a statement from accusatory to an information request.
Using “I” can suggest ownership (“I did ___”), but it’s also seen as subjective and opinion-based. On the other hand, dropping a first-person pronoun can make a statement seems more objective (”This happened”).
The words you choose and when you use them matter. And by harnessing the language of identity, you can encourage desired behaviors in yourself and others.
