As a therapist and executive coach, motivation is a common topic that enters my virtual office. I can assure you that even your high-performing CEO, surgeon, and attorney struggle to develop their slide decks before the eleventh hour or get on their Pelotons. Brilliant and accomplished as they are, they can’t seem to figure out why they can’t just “get it done.”
And admittedly, it’s taken me longer than I expected to write this article. But in the process I did get a great deal on a flight and learn that Gazpacho originated in the Andalusian region of the Iberian Peninsula. I digress.
Procrastination is why tasks we previously felt unmotivated to do—such as cleaning—suddenly become ... [+]
Are motivation and procrastination really problems for you?
I used to work at a college, where students sought counseling for procrastination often. When I asked them “What’s the most distressful part of [discussed challenge]?” their answer was some version of “I shouldn’t procrastinate.” As we unpacked the alleged problem further, they realized procrastination was just part of their process. They always “got it done,” they just worked best under pressure. Trying to start or complete something weeks in advance just ended up being an exercise in self-criticism and guilt. They were better off just being honest with themselves that they’d be cramming for 2-3 days before the deadline and giving themselves permission to enjoy their freedom until it became crunch time.
Related, I have clients whose unrealistically high, perfectionistic expectations lead them to believe their need for breaks, fun, or sleep means they’re “unmotivated.”
So before you read on, it’s worth asking yourself if motivation and procrastination are really problems or if the real solution here is being kinder to yourself and having more realistic expectations.
Believe or not, procrastination is your body’s way of trying to keep you alive!
Motivation is actually pretty simple: As humans, we’re driven to seek pleasure and avoid pain. In other words, we have to either want to do something (seeking pleasure), or perceive that we need to do something (avoiding pain) to take action.
This is evolutionary: we’re drawn to sex and calorie-dense foods because both increase our likelihood of survival and procreation.
We’re uncomfortable with extreme temperatures and wild animals for the opposite reason.
And emotionally, we crave pleasure and avoid pain for similar purposes. Our emotions are actually signals that guide protective and prosocial evolutionary behavior. For example:
- We delight in feelings of safe connection which motivate us to seek out community (as we’re more likely to survive and procreate in groups).
- Loneliness feels painful, and is eased by that same species-proliferating connection.
- Guilt motivates us to repair a rupture in a relationship, preserving—you guessed it—connection.
- Anger (in its healthy manifestation) signals we’ve been mistreated or an injustice has occurred. It motivates boundary setting, advocacy, and order.
- Anxiety is meant to signal a threat and motivates us to take action—for example, find cover when we see dark storm clouds forming or be in fight, flight, or freeze mode if we hear a noise in the bushes.
...and so on.
Most of the time we operate within this paradigm unconsciously, gravitating toward comfort and away from discomfort both physically and emotionally. And while that served our goals of survival and procreation a hundred thousand years ago (whereas deferred gratification meant not getting—or becoming—dinner), it doesn’t necessarily serve our goals of growth and productivity today.
Why we suddenly feel compelled to reorganize our desktop or clean out our inbox:
You see, if unconsciously we’re always seeking comfort (pleasure) and avoiding discomfort (pain), we’re always going to choose our warm bed over the Peloton or “one more episode” over starting the deck. We’re always going to choose the comfort of an activity that evokes feelings of confidence, satisfaction, or joy to the discomfort of an activity—in this case, the one we’re procrastinating—that evokes feelings of overwhelm, frustration, or boredom. Or why we’re motivated to do other tasks that once seemed boring or daunting—such as cleaning our bathroom or freeing up iCloud storage. In comparison to the task we’re procrastinating or the anxiety around not doing the task we’re procrastinating, cleaning the bathroom (and more specifically, the illusion of productivity) suddenly seems like a pretty good gig.
It’s only when the potential discomfort around not doing the activity outweighs the discomfort around doing the activity that we’re motivated to do the undesirable activity. For example, when the discomfort of the shame we feel around our body or the irritation we know we could minimize by exercising outweighs the discomfort of starting a workout. And we all remember that tipping point in college where the anxiety around failing the exam overpowered the resistance around studying for it—and a subsequent all-nighter ensued.
So what do we do about it? Well, first stop beating yourself up for lacking “willpower.” Your body is just trying to keep you (and the human species) alive, cut yourself some slack! Then consider implementing one or more of the following six strategies to increase your chances of follow-through.
One important note before we dive in: this article is referring to your run-of-the-mill demotivation and procrastination, not their more stubborn manifestations that come along with ADHD, depression, burnout, grief, and heartbreak. While these tips will still be helpful if one of those experiences applies to you, you might also benefit from exploring professional therapy or coaching and medication.
1. Increase certainty and confidence around the task:
On the topic of perfectionism, unrealistic and unclear expectations are often the reason for our paralysis or procrastination. Confidence precedes action, whereas uncertainty or overwhelm create anxiety that erodes confidence and perpetuates avoidance. Aim for “good enough” unless the task really warrants perfection. By making our expectations clear and realistic, we increase confidence and potential for follow through.
Put it into action: In order to feel less anxious, it can help to break the task into small bits and adjust our expectations for performance. Elementary as it may seem, I always come back to the SMART Goals strategy with my clients. Going through these steps can decrease the uncertainty or perfectionism-related anxiety associated with the task, making it no longer something you want to avoid.
2. Create a reward system:
Wonder why gamification—and dog treats—work so well? Because we’re seeking the pleasure of the reward that comes after completing the task. Sometimes that reward is simply the feeling of relief, but consider implementing your own rewards as well.
Put it into action: Give yourself small rewards for taking action. Work for one hour and you get 15 minutes of scrolling time. Make (or treat yourself to) a fancy coffee on the mornings when you meditate. Just keep it decaf if you wanna hold onto the zen...
3. Create accountability (a punishment system):
On the other side of that coin, if lovingly punish ourselves for not completing the task, we’ll want to avoid the pain of said punishment. This is why I both resent and appreciate that I get charged if I don’t show up to the morning Pilates class I booked. Or why I make plans to co-work with a friend if I need to get something finished on a sunny weekend. Wanting to avoid that cost associated with skipping class, or letting down my accountability buddy, are enough to motivate me to follow through.
Put it into action: Commit to making a small donation to a charity of your choice if instant gratification gets the best of you, and find a friend with a common goal who can hold you accountable.
4. Visualize how you’ll feel after completing the task:
Because we’re driven by instant gratification, we tend to focus more on the discomfort of starting the task than on the relief, satisfaction, and gratification of completing the task. By momentarily cultivating the feelings we anticipate experiencing after the task, we’re motivated to experience it in a more enduring form.
Put it into action: Ask yourself, “How will my state shift from what it is now?” Close your eyes and try to feel in your body the sensations associated with having having completed the task.
5. Eliminate distractions and other sources of comfort:
If we remove sources of pleasure (i.e. distractions) from our environment, we’re no longer choosing between the undesirable task and something interesting or enjoyable; we’re now choosing between the undesirable task and boredom, which—especially when filled with thoughts like “I should be doing X”—is likely even more undesirable.
Put it into action: The easiest way to remove distractions or sources of comfort is to change your environment. Join a co-working space or take yourself to a coffee shop. If you’re choosing between staying in bed and getting on the Peloton, make your current situation less comfortable by turning on the lights or removing your warm covers.
6. Practice awareness:
Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” The simple awareness of our human tendency to seek pleasure and avoid pain—coupled with mindfulness in the moments where we’re vulnerable to it—gives us the agency to choose the temporary discomfort of taking action.
Put into action: When you notice that you’re procrastinating or struggling with motivation, check in with yourself and ask how you’re acting on your primal instinct to seek pleasure and avoid pain.
In sum, don’t beat yourself up for your human nature. We’re not wired to be inclined to choose discomfort over comfort. However, by clearly understanding the evolutionary basis of motivation, we can optimize our chances of following through. And hey, if all else fails, at least you might end up with a squeaky-clean bathroom.
