3 Ways to Jumpstart One-On-Ones
The lumberjack said if his life depended upon his ability to cut down a tree in five minutes he would spend three minutes sharpening his axe. QI
Don’t have one-on-ones if you don’t have time to prepare.
You can prepare in minutes.
3 ways to jumpstart developmental one-on-ones:
#1. Quiet your spirit.
Don’t say, “I’ll be right with you,” when someone shows up for a one-on-one with you. Is the person you’re talking with worth three minutes of preparation?
Your pile of tasks is always pressing. Quiet your spirit a few times every day.
Three ways to tell someone they don’t matter:
- Let’s hurry up. I have a lot on my plate.
- I don’t have much time, let’s get down to business.
- I have to reschedule.
Who is likely to bring their best? Someone who feels important or someone who feels like a bother.
#2. Review your notes.
You won’t remember previous conversations.
I use OneNote for notetaking during coaching conversations. It’s searchable and I write on the screen of my Surface.
Taking notes lets people know you’re paying attention. On the downside, they wonder what you’re writing. Solve this by explaining the reason you take notes and the type of notes you take.
7 things to track during one-on-ones:
- Personal updates. Things outside of work.
- Wins since your last meeting.
- Ongoing concerns, theirs and yours.
- Personal goals. Your service to others begins with understanding their goals.
- Action steps.
- Follow-up items.
- Key takeaways. Ask, “What’s your takeaway from this meeting?”
#3. Show up stupid.
Cast out your inner fixer.
Don’t accept people’s monkeys.
Ask forward-facing questions like, “What does it look like if you succeed today?” This week? This month?
What’s most important to you when you prepare for one-on-ones?
What can you add to the above list?
Still curious:
A Simple Reusable One-On-One Plan
5 Energizing Conversation Starters for One-on-Ones
How to Stop Wasting Time in One-on-Ones
How to Make Your One-on-Ones with Employees More Productive
This post triggered a memory of first reading “Management Time: Who’s Got The Monkey?” by Oncken and Wass, published in the Harvard Review of Business, way back in 1974 when I was an undergrad. The “monkey” premise for dealing with problems reverberated many times during my career, and as you aptly describe, remains a valid metaphor.
I like your approach to the vital “one on one” contacts, and especially making sure they get the priority they deserve.
For me, the most important preparatory step was to unhesitatingly welcome attendees and make sure they felt like they were my top priority. No phone calls, no interruptions “unless the building was on fire,” as I used to tell my assistant. In a time when communication tends to be so impersonal and automated, there is a greater need than ever for the personal touch provided by an effective one-on-one.
Thanks for adding your practice to this post. The good news — letting people know they are your priority doesn’t cost a nickel and takes very little time.
Here’s a link to the classic HBR article you mention: https://hbr.org/1999/11/management-time-whos-got-the-monkey
If you don’t have an HRB subscription, the article is available many places, including here: https://www.med.unc.edu/uncaims/wp-content/uploads/sites/764/2014/03/Oncken-_-Wass-Who_s-Got-the-Monkey.pdf
I remember many year ago when I was in a meeting with my boss and the phone rang. I paused to let her answer it but she let it ring. When I said it was alright to answer it, she replied, “if it is important, they will leave a message.” WOW, did I feel important! Twenty years later, that action has me closing my email and silencing my phone before scheduled meetings.
Love it, Scott. That’s a 10 on my wow-scale. Thanks for sharing.
As one who was constantly on the receiving end of canceled or rescheduled one-on-ones, I can concur that it DOES make you feel unimportant — or at least, that everything else is MORE important.
Leadership Freak’s techniques for jumpstarting one-on-one sessions are consistent with my own leadership style. I once improved my one-on-one discussions with team members by implementing these techniques. The upshot was more engaged and productive talks, which increased morale and performance. Echelon Front’s suggested reading list contains works about successful communication and leadership, which provide significant insights for leaders wishing to improve their one-on-one interactions. Check out their book recommendations: https://echelonfront.com/books/.
Thanks for that good list of things to track during a 1 on 1.
I’m not managing a staff now, but when I was I made it a point to ask my staff “what do you need from me?” The best supervisor I ever had asked me that early in my career, and it stuck with me. Not sure any supervisor has ever asked me that since then.
Love it! Thanks