Feminist Icons Provide Advice For Getting Ahead At Forbes 30/50 Summit

Female leaders and entrepreneurs shared their success secrets at the Forbes 30/50 Summit in Abu Dhabi. From tips on negotiating to advice on reducing anxiety, these women offer valuable insights they learned along their career journeys.

Negotiating

Women are often afraid of being perceived as difficult, and that can impact their negotiations. For example, Mandana Dayani, creator and cofounder of I am a voter, advises women not to fill the silences when negotiating. She described how many women get nervous if nobody is speaking, and they are tempted to start talking. "Stop. Don't fill the silence," Dayani warned.

Mika Brzezinski, founder of Know Your Value, co-host of MSNBC's Morning Joe and chair of the 30/50 Summit, argued that women too often sell themselves short in negotiations because they want to be liked. She wants women to get outside their comfort zone. "I want your meetings to be uncomfortable. That's a good meeting, especially if it's a negotiation," Brzezinski told the audience. "Don't try to fill a room with words to make people feel comfortable. That's a bad meeting," she added.

Dealing With Anxiety

The primary takeaway regarding anxiety was that nearly everyone experiences the emotion on a regular basis. Mo Abudu, founder and CEO of EbonyLife Media, said she embraces anxiety to get her blood flowing. "It's good to have a certain amount of anxiety. Because, for me, it helps pump my adrenaline," she explained. She warned that sometimes anxiety comes from a lack of preparation, so it's critical to be prepared. "But if you have prepared, and you have anxiety, you got some butterflies–it's good," she added.

One suggestion for overcoming anxiety involves adopting a different persona. It’s a “fake it til you make it” type strategy that may allow people to get out of their heads. Emmy Award-winning actress and writer Catherine O'Hara suggests thinking about someone you know who would perform well in the situation that makes you anxious. Get into character and pretend you’re that person.

Communicating And Public Speaking

The fear of public speaking is the most common phobia ahead of death, spiders, or heights. Hillary Clinton says preparation and practice are vital to improving your skills and alleviating your fear about speaking. "Just accept the fact you have to be better prepared than anybody, no matter what your situation is. That just goes with the territory still,” Clinton told the audience. “Secondly, practice communicating. Communication is a skill like any other," she added. Clinton suggests practicing with your phone or in front of a trusted friend.

Billie Jean King reported that she was so terrified of public speaking as a youngster that she was ambivalent about winning a tennis match because winning meant she'd have to publicly thank the umpires and volunteers. The secret to overcoming her fear was getting comfortable with the discomfort. "I said to two people who work with me, get me as many speeches as possible. And I could hardly swallow after I said that because I needed to face my fears. I needed to get comfortable with being uncomfortable," the sports icon and equality champion described.

Finding Mentors, Sponsors And Networks

Many presenters shared stories of how mentors and sponsors helped them advance in their careers. Sponsors are individuals who know your work and who can advocate for you. "A sponsor is someone in the room when decisions are being made about projects, new roles and promotions. A mentor is someone that you work with to drive learning or development in a particular area. Both are important," explained Francine Katsoudas, EVP and chief people, policy and purpose officer at Cisco.

A sponsor played a significant role in Katsoudas landing her current role. At the time, her company was deciding whether to hire an experienced manager from outside or promote someone from within the company. She described, ‘I remember going to my sponsor and saying, 'I can do this; I can absolutely do this.' And she went into the room, and she advocated for me, and it's no question to me that she was a big part of how I got it,” she described.

In addition to mentors and sponsors, having strong networks is essential for success. "If there's one key thing I want to say today, it’s, please, let's just find ways of really networking, helping each other, supporting each other to break through. Because most men do it time and time and time again," Abudu said.

Kike Oniwinde Agoro, founder and CEO of BYP Network, was so moved by the power of networking that she started a company to facilitate it. BYP connects Black professionals in the U.K and around the world to each other and organizations for networking, mentoring and job opportunities.

The Importance Of Failing

Failure will happen and should be expected if you push and challenge yourself. Brzezinski emphasized that if you're not failing, you're not pushing yourself enough. For successful people, she said, "there are failures every step of the way in their careers, and those are stepping stones…Those failures make you so strong."

Aurora James, creative director and founder of Fifteen Percent Pledge, described, "No one's going to do this perfectly. Growing is weird and painful. And what I always say to people is that stumbling is evidence of momentum."

Developing Resilience

"Darwin said that it is not the strongest or the fastest that survive; it is those that can adapt. Ukrainian women and men have been adapting so fast that our engineers are not able to come up with new challenges quickly enough," Olena Zelenska, the first lady of Ukraine, explained. The resilience of the Ukrainian people is extraordinary.

While resilience is essential to surviving a war, it’s also often necessary to stay engaged with your work. Ballet great Misty Copeland wrote in her book, The Wind At My Back, “Part of the price of being the first is taking the body blows and keeping your eyes on the prize.” And Copeland took her share of blows. She was told she couldn't be the principal dancer in Swan Lake because she wasn't white. "As a Black woman, when you're told for generations and generations that it's not a role for you. Being the white swan is not something that a Black woman can be," she explained. Copeland didn't give up and was later promoted to principal dancer, making her the first Black woman to ever hold the position in the American Ballet Theater.

Oniwinde Agoro also touted the importance of resilience and strength to keep going when things get tough. "Not so long ago, I also became a mom. So, I have an eight-month-old. And for me, it was about I have to be strong; I have to stay strong; I have to go forward and move forward regardless of what's happening because there's an impact that needs to be made. There's change that needs to be made. And there's the next generation," she described.

Listening

Oniwinde Agoro and Katsoudas discussed how being a good listener is key to building a solid network and becoming a great leader. Good listeners are fully present, open to what they’re hearing, and willing to change their perspective.

Brzezinski believes that Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) can help leaders become better listeners. DBT focuses on behavior change techniques, including mindfulness and emotion regulation. Although initially deployed as a mental health tool, leaders are now adopting it to advance their leadership skills.

“A lot of people, when they're moving and shaking and growing a business, they're not listening. They're running and gunning. They're trying to get there,” Brzezinski said. When they’re in that heightened state, their ability to listen diminishes. DBT could teach them to slow down and be in the moment.