Create Yourself: The Active Side of Authentic Development
“Young people searching for their “real self” must learn that the real self is not something one finds as much as it is something one makes; and it is one’s daily actions that shape the inner personality far more permanently than any amount of introspection or intellection.” Sydney J. Harris
The great responsibility:
Do we discover ourselves? Yes. Do we create ourselves? Yes.
The cliché, “You are beautiful just the way you are,” short circuits responsibility. We don’t tell people who harm others they’re beautiful just the way they are. The self-discovery movement leads us astray when it neglects self-development.
Everyone isn’t beautiful:
Is it beautiful to withhold useful information from colleagues, cut in line at airports, or cheat on our taxes? How about when we steal someone’s reputation with gossip, or disrespect customer flight attendants and restaurant servers? We have intrinsic value even though we have a Darth Vader side.
The unbeautiful items above are frivolous compared to a world that includes malevolence, deceit, and brutality.
Everyone has intrinsic value. And you have limitless room for improvement. Don’t insult potential by ignoring the growth opportunities.
Create yourself:
You create yourself every day, but you may not notice until it’s too late.
Aristotle said, “Virtues are formed in man by his doing the actions.” Virtues don’t magically appear. You live into them.
Will Durant explains Aristotle’s wisdom when he says, “… we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit…”
Create yourself by living into your ideal self.
You haven’t been your natural self since you learned to control anger and hold your tongue.
You have the power to create yourself.
What simple habits have made you the leader you are today?
What simple habits would help you create your ideal self?
Still curious:
The Habit of Finishing Stuff (90 second read.)
5 Steps to Making Habits that Create Your Future (90 second read.)
Atomic Habits, by James Clear.
Simple habits for me started with punctuality, respectful, kindness, cleanliness.
Thanks, Tim. You remind me that some habits seem like healthy obsessions. I obsess about being on time, for example. For me, that’s what it takes.
It’s that old saying…
Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
Thanks for contributing to the conversation. Sobering ideas when taken seriously.
However, it doesn’t start with thoughts!
Watch your perception, they become your identity,
Watch your identity, they become your thoughts
so, change starts with observing and understanding how you perceive yourself, others and the world to what is and isn’t possible.
Humility, commitment, self-discipline are some of the habits have helped me become the leader I am. Curiosity & perseverance and above all continuous learning are the habits that will help me move towards the ideal self. Thanks, Dan, for helping me to bring some clarity on my priorities.
Thanks, CV. I love the habits that help us grow and develop. Curiosity, perseverance, and continuous learning. Ask questions. Stick with it. And adapt as you go. 🙂
Being Grateful!
Pretty hard to beat the habit of expressing gratitude. Of course expressing expands it’s potential for value and change. Thanks, Shelly.
Since getting these daily, best one yet!
Thank you, Patrick. Much appreciated.
I practice kindness everyday! Being kind is one of the most genuine acts of my day. I have always been one to complement, or show real sympathy towards others–and it has made all the difference for me as a leader.
So true, a truth that was buried under my introspection focus. Thanks for the light.
“The self-discovery movement leads us astray when it neglects self-development.“
The missing piece in most self-discovery exercises that reinforce the lie that you are perfect just the way you are.
You’re right, self-discovery is only the beginning
“Young people searching for their “real self” must learn that the real self is not something one finds as much as it is something one makes; and it is one’s daily actions that shape the inner personality far more permanently than any amount of introspection or intellection.” Sydney J. Harris
…I would tell this too young and old alike. I am sad to confess that just this AM I did not include a colleague on an email that I probably should have. I corrected the problem after reading your blog. Thank you for setting me straight.
Defining my personal core values and then using them to guide my behavior on a daily basis. As Walt Disney says, “When values are clear decisions are easy.”
Great article, after the awakening of self-reflection due to the last few years of extra time on ones hands (not mentioning the C word), people think their inner work is done! This is a fabulous way to show, it’s never done — not if you live in a growth mindset!