Conventional wisdom holds that the longer and harder a person works, the better worker they are. It’s an outdated paradigm that many professionals and organizations are breaking out of as they discover people are more productive and motivated to perform at a high level when they can balance hard work and self-care opportunities in their personal time.
However, some professionals, especially new C-level executives, entrepreneurs and business owners, still feel the need to work around the clock. Here, 15 members of Forbes Coaches Council share questions they would ask an executive client who is struggling with being “always on” to help them set healthy boundaries between their work and their private life.
Forbes Coaches Council members share questions they would ask to help clients set healthy boundaries between work and private life.
Photos courtesy of the individual members.1. What Are You Giving Up In Return?
There is no perfect world, and something has to give when time is a limited resource. The “why” behind the need to constantly work must be explored and drawn from the client. I would ask, “What are you giving up in return for being always on?” The objective is for clients to realize what is truly important and the possible impact being always on will have on their private life. - Janice Lum, Arconik Coaching
2. What Example Are You Setting?
A key question to ask is, “As a role model, what example are you setting for your company, your team and, if you have them, your children?” Is this a healthy path you are showing them to follow? - Anna Tan, Coaching Go Where
3. Do You Realize You’re Becoming Less Efficient?
As we all know, many professionals struggle with always being “on.” But this has a huge cost. As an executive and life coach, one question I ask my clients is, “Do you realize that by always being on, you are actually becoming less efficient, less able to actually produce the results that you want to achieve and most desire?” So, what is the point if it actually ends up defeating your very purpose? - Ash Varma, Varma & Associates
4. How Will You Measure Your Life?
I would ask the famous question, “How will you measure your life?” and focus on what’s important across all components—work, family, community and well-being. Track time spent on each and decide what could be done differently. As role models, encourage them to create specific actions to both define and celebrate boundaries. Acknowledge the power of quiet reflection as the impetus for success. - Susan Murray, Clearpath Leadership
Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?
5. When Was The Last Time You Experienced Serenity?
It is important to understand that the best creative ideas and solutions come not when we’re being “on,” but when we’re doing something totally different. Sometimes, new executives, entrepreneurs and business owners forget how important it is to recharge. When was the last time that you experienced true serenity? - Melissa Leich, Growfused
6. How Do You Want To Live Your Life Today?
Let’s take a quick trip to the future. Picture your life ten years from now: your age, the ages of others in your family, what everyone looks like. Now, imagine the best possible scenarios for the relationships you most cherish, your health and your achievements at work. See it all vividly. Now, how do you want to live your life today that takes you one step closer to that future? - Steve Haase, Hypergrowth Coaching, Inc.
7. What Is Motivating You Right Now?
What is motivating you right now? Is it a desire to prove something? To serve something? To grow something? Give yourself a deep breath and turn your attention inward. Notice what drives you now and notice whether you like being driven by that. Boundaries allow you to protect what matters most to you and protect against what doesn’t. What boundaries do you need to protect what matters most? - Jessica Hartung, Treelight Leadership
8. How Do You Define ‘Enough?’
Ask yourself how you define “enough.” When I work with senior coachees who struggle to switch off from the overwhelming demands of a role, we often explore the difference between “knowing more” and “knowing enough.” Letting go of the need to know everything helps you focus on the key management priorities, the most important opportunities and the biggest risks and keep non-work time strictly protected. - Gary Crotaz, Gary Crotaz Ltd.
9. Why Do You Need To Be In Business Mode 24/7?
The first question should be, “Why do you feel the need to be in business mode 24/7?” Perhaps you are lacking confidence in staff, are feeling a private life is not important or are working toward an unrealistic professional goal. It will be difficult to prescribe a remedy until the issue is identified. Non-work-related time can actually benefit the work by lending newfound creativity and energy. - Deborah Hightower, Deborah Hightower, Inc.
10. What Happens If You Burn Out?
“What happens if you burn out?” That’s the first question I ask them. The answer to that is usually that it would be pretty disastrous. So the next logical question is, “What can you do to prevent burnout?” That way, they come to the conclusion by themselves that they can’t be “always on.” - Rajeev Shroff, Cupela Consulting
11. What Can You Gain By Prioritizing Energy Renewal?
One book I highly recommend is The Power of Full Engagement by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, which proposes that managing energy, not time, is the key to enduring high performance. It’s based on the principles that elite athletes use to get to the top of their game. One crucial factor is balancing energy expenditure with intermittent energy renewal. The question I would ask is, “What can you gain by prioritizing energy renewal?” - Gabriella Goddard, Brainsparker Global
12. What’s The Worst Thing That Could Happen?
Being “on” is something I believe all entrepreneurs and business owners struggle with. To address this, I would ask, “What’s the worst thing that could happen if you were not on all the time?” Often this alleviates stress because, spoken out loud, the fears are never as grave as they seem. It also helps show them where the gaps are and what systems and/or people are needed to fill those gaps. - Marc Zalmanoff, Marc Zalmanoff LLC
13. How Are You Deciding Where To Invest Your Time?
I’d ask, “When making decisions about how to invest your time, what are you basing those choices on?” Values and commitments? A cultural expectation? True (or false) urgency? Or the correct assessment of your true needs and the required action? Once you understand the drivers of behavior and the values reflected by those actions, you can get clearer on boundaries and where and how to set them. - Lisa Marie Platske, Upside Thinking, Inc.
14. Have You Discussed Expectations With Your Significant Other?
“Have you openly discussed with your significant other what kind of expectations they have of your time?” Professionals are pulled in many directions—and possibly one the most important, but least respected, is their significant other. - Nick Leighton, Exactly Where You Want to Be
15. What Kind Of Relationship Do You Want To Have With Work?
“What kind of relationship do you want to have with your work?” is the first question. Followed up with, “What other relationships are important to you, and how would you describe the quality of each? Where is there alignment? Where’s the disconnect?” It’s understandable for leaders to feel the pressure always to be “on.” The permission to seek balance needs to come from within. It takes courage. - Stacy Campesi, OKA (Otto Kroeger Associates)
