How to Transform Meetings That Suck the Life Out of You
When was the last time you left a meeting ready to charge hell with a squirt gun?
Lousy meetings are problem-solving activities with the wrong people in the room. The topic eventually becomes, “What do “they” need to do?”
“We” turns to “they” in lousy meetings.
Drains:
#1. When meetings focus on people who aren’t in the room, leadership becomes telling. Expectations, direction, and accountability dominate conversations.
‘Telling-leaders’ don’t think of getting their hands dirty with building relationships and developing talent.
If all you do is give directions, you’re a road sign, not a leader.
A road sign has no power except what we give it.
Authority and punishment are the bastions of safety for directive leaders.
#2. Arrogance sets in when the wrong people are in the room. Suddenly you’re better than the culprits who aren’t in the meeting. Talking-about is easier than talking-with.
- “They need to… .”
- “Why aren’t they… .”
- “They should… .”
- “We’re not going to… .”
- “We’re better than… .”
When we compare our superior behavior to someone’s inferior performance, our noses ride just a bit higher.
Energy:
You might not believe it, but meetings don’t have to suck the life out you and your team.
- Make meetings small and short. The energy of a meeting is inversely proportional to the number of attendees multiplied by its duration.
- Include people who get their hands dirty doing real work.
- Mix operations with development. Begin meetings with:
- “What are you achieving that makes you proud?”
- “What did you do to achieve that?”
- “How might you be even better?”
- Turn to your traditional agenda.
- Conclude with, “Who does what by when?”
Meetings generate energy when:
- Teams brag about wins.
- Relationships are strengthened.
- The path forward is clear.
- Accountability focuses on the people around the table.
What would be true of a meeting that gives more energy than it takes?
What’s one thing leaders should never do in meetings?
If they don’t even give direction, what does that make them? Have gone to many meetings, leaving them thinking, what the heck was all that about? what did that achieve? normally the answer was nothing 🙁 leaving feelings of being very demoralised, deflated, confused. Sometimes even witnessing meetings being carried out for the sake of it, for show. I myself am a firm believer in having a prepared, timed agenda and sticking to it, as well as, which is not always possible, no sidetracking. Also ensure the correct people (the people the discussion will impact upon) are at the meeting. Leaving the meeting with firm points to be actioned, by, date. A few words you use in your blog that I personally don’t like physically seeing and they are ‘arrogance’, ‘superior’, ‘brag’, suggest leaving these traits out of any meeting, comes across in my probably naive eyes as someone thinking themselves better than others when in fact everyone should be equal and treated as such.
Too many meetings are held to stroke a leader’s ego. Best way to transform meetings is STOP having them. If a decision for ACTION is not going to happen, there is NO reason to have the meeting.
One ad agency where I worked had Monday morning project review meetings. The creative director was rather self-indulgent and obsessive about minutiae. The meetings lasted 3 or more hours! Blaming and shaming were allowed. We could have been working on our creative projects all that time! Another ad agency where I worked limited our project review meetings and creative brainsqualling to 1 hour maximum. If we hit the wall during creative meetings, the brilliant creative director would pull out the hand puppets for play-acting, or we’d take a walk or dress up our life-size Gumby to get us out of our ruts. One Monday, the staff was so overwhelmed, we had our project review meeting UNDER the conference room table. Sounds crazy, but we were regarded as one of the top creative groups in the city and usually cleaned up at award shows.