Solution Saturday: Dealing with Ms. Rigid
Hi Dan,
I lead a team of amazing professionals who are passionate and committed to the work we do. One team member is … rigid in her thinking and ambushes me at staff briefings about operational matters that are only a problem to her. … it is causing the rest of the team to start complaining about her to me in private. It is … souring the culture of goodwill and support …
I am mostly bothered that we don’t seem to all be on the same page about the collaborative culture we have aspired to work under.
Any ideas?
Dear Team Leader,
The topics in your question include:
- You.
- Teammembers.
- Ms. Rigid.
- Culture.
Winning:
Define winning in terms of behaviors, relationships, and results, not ambiguous ideas.
- If things were going perfectly what would you, Ms. Rigid, and other teammates be doing? Not doing?
- What proper channels are available for addressing operational issues?
- How should teammates be dealing with their frustrations with each other?
- What leadership behaviors are important to you, with this situation in mind?
- How might this situation make you, your team, and Ms. Rigid better? (Keep thinking behaviors.)
Implement a simple behavior or two that moves you and your team forward.
Reflect:
- What does your reaction say about you?
- Who do you want to be with this person in mind?
- What will you not have done, if this situations persists for six months?
Suggestions:
- Meet with Ms. Rigid before meetings to address operational issues.
- Ask, “What’s important about this,” when Ms. Rigid takes you off topic?
- Ask your “complaining” teammates for suggestions. Don’t carry the ball alone.
- The next time someone complains, pick up the phone and invite Ms. Rigid to have a conversation with the three of you. (Define the win together.)
- Seek counsel from leaders you admire.
What suggestions do you have for this team leader?
I’m not sure I like the first suggestion. While I like keeping it out of the staff meeting, I don’t like Ms. Rigid getting special treatment. I’d suggest that a policy be developed with staff to deal with operational procedures; could even include having an item on the meeting agenda when appropriate.
I like really well the fourth suggestion. Except it invites Ms. Rigid putting the complainer on her s*** list. Needs to be handled well, maybe even as part of the staff meeting.
Thanks John. Good point on don’t honor behaviors that you want to end. What I’d like to get at is Ms. Rigid is probably trying to succeed and there needs to be a way for her to do that. Of course, it could be that she is intentionally obstinate.
I like the idea that people take ownership of their concerns and not have someone else solve them. However, there are some situations where leaders need to leverage their position to deal with issues.
My preference is start small. Perhaps have a team conversation about how we treat each other and what we expect from each other while we are in meetings. Don’t even bring up Ms. Rigid. Just work on the way we work together.
I concur Dan, start small and see which direction takes hold after meeting of the minds, not knowing what Ms.Rigid true motive is, would be a place to start, flat out. What is your motives or intentions to move the team? Perhaps there exist male to female issues that conflicts things. The gambit can be quite an undertaking, but that why you have a team too.
Thanks Tim. We may not understand the motives of others. They may intend good, but do it in a “bad” way. However, hijacking meetings has to be addressed. 🙂
I like this format
Thanks Bill. I appreciate the positive feedback.
tough!
I like your writing
I think that can be applied at school
Hi
When Ms Rigid complains,
1. does she complain about your decisions as the leader?
2. Does she complain about the output of the rest of the team?
3. Does she complain about the overall culture?
4. Does she complain without offering solutions?
D
A principal that I worked with several years ago had a policy that if you had a concern for him, do not just come with the concern, but bring a potential solution as well. It tends to sort out the real concerns from the perceived with that framework in mind.