10 Ways to Become a Molder of Reality
Some mold reality, others are molded by it.
Character is strength to mold rather than be molded.
Reality bends to leaders with character.
Leaders with character mold reality.
Character stays steady in challenge, adversity, and disappointment. The best thing you can do for young leaders is offer them challenges and get in the boat with them. Teach them how to press through difficulty.
Character energizes others. Judge your leadership by the energy of those closest to you.
10 ways to become a molder reality:
- Say no. When you feel pressured to say yes, say no. People without character say yes easily. Learn how to say no with gentleness and clarity. Those who can’t say no are lost.
- Stop talking so much. There is an inverse relationship between character and talking. Learn how to be quiet. (For extroverts)
- Take on a challenge. Character is the result of thoughtful action.
- Realize adapting isn’t quitting. Work through discomfort. Finish stuff.
- Stop making excuses. Make today the last day you offer an excuse to anyone for anything, especially yourself.
- Acknowledge failures and frailties, but don’t play dead.
- Start again. Don’t just lay there. People who attempt hard stuff fail. If you’re always succeeding, you aren’t reaching high enough.
- Hang with leaders who have character. “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” Anonymous
- Read about great leaders.
- Believe in something bigger than yourself. If you want to see a person’s character, ask them what they believe in. Believers mold reality.
Bonus: Live to serve.
Authenticity simplifies life.
Of all the things you learn, learn who you are through quiet self-reflection. It’s in the quiet, after the battle, that you find yourself. If you don’t know who you are, someone is molding you into their image.
What are the qualities of high impact leadership?
Dear Dan,
High impact leadership is about character. And leaders always believe in greater than themselves. I appreciate your concept of molding and molded. Leaders mold and others get molded. I find space to elaborate my view here. It takes more effort to mold while it is much easier to follow the molded path. And that is how leaders need courage to shape the path. They shape the path un-imagined before. Even if imagined, no one dared to materialize it.
Adversity and disappointment is the natural ingredients of leadership journey. They expect it, embrace it and surpass it. Leadership journey is decided by the size of dream leaders have. when they have small size dream, they may not face much adversity and difficulties. They can also achieve it easily. When leaders have bigger dream, they may face bigger adversities and challenges. Many times, they may face frustration, but they know the limitation of adversity. They work harder with more courage and finally defeat difficulties. They achieve their goal. Between two situations mentioned above, impact in second situation is much more bigger. And that is how leaders are recognized, respected and identified based on impact they create.
I like those top ten, especially 10. We forget the other more pressing issues other than our own. But, I would rather mold reality rather than be influenced by some of it.
Wow. This is sort of the 10 commandments for doers, isn’t it? All ten are so on point, I can’t pick a favorite. Thanks for the Monday morning inspiration, Dan.
This is a terrific post, Dan! There are numerous great points in this, including #2 which is counter-intuitive to our current “me” culture. Less talking and more listening has been so effective for me in my leadership growth. Thx!
Say No, stop talking…counter-intuitive is what we need more often than not. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking – great book!
THANK YOU for the spot-on note for the first Monday of December, especially as I consider my goals and aspirations for 2015. I definitely hear echos of resiliency and grit to be a molder of reality!
Thank you Dan, this post is really helpful today when I’m feeling like a potential victim of reality. The idea of instead shaping my own reality is very powerful and uplifting. I shall get on it!
Good thoughts, Dan and I agree with your list of 10, particularly the need to listen more. But I’m having a hard time with the concept of molding reality. Reality is the reality. A leader understands what it is and navigates the team through it with good character.
This post just blew me away Dan! I am an avid reader of your blog because your writing inspire me to become a better person. This one however I will need to comeback and read again because it is so dense and meaningful to me.
Thank you for inspiring us every day!
Great list of 10! (On a different note but closely linked with this discussion is this..)What caught my attention from the initial heading was the belief today that we mold reality in the sense that we create truth. While the rest of the article doesn’t head down this path, I think it is important that leaders see “reality”. Reality can’t be created in the sense that we shouldn’t manipulate perceptions to make something bad seem okay (or something that is truly good look bad). That is where we are at today with the media. I read a quote several years ago concerning where we have come as a nation and it read- “Truth has been displaced by believability.” We have to be careful that we create and foster positive environments but we must also address those nasty and ugly aspects that are facts.
A great corporate manager, based in South Florida, leads and molds her employees and employee groups by example. Her door is always open, her phones on. She listens, even when it’s two hours after quitting time. She’s protective of staff members’ privacy, and their lives. She is the first person to run a reality-check on her own actions, decisions, work ethic, level of accountability, etc. She never asks any staff member to do anything she’s not willing to do herself. Example: Give up part or all of a day off to help managers and staff on duty iron out a problem. She always follows through. When she promises to look into a problem, she does! When she pledges to consider a change, she does! When she says she will follow-up on a request, she does! And, when she can’t do that, she has the integrity to explain why!
This is all fair enough especially to listen which I could do more of, still the main and and reflect I do many times on meditation retreats, yet there is something here a bit forced a bit driven in moulding reality again not to disagree simply if reality is relative to the beholder then it is our view and our ability to am gn that to the wholesum (sic) that matters as she CH change your mind and change your reality, so 9 out of 10 for me, though I may change my mind.
I’ve been doing some research on courage in the workplace and courageous leadership. I appreciate your item 7: “People who attempt hard stuff fail. If you’re always succeeding, you aren’t reaching high enough.”
Courageous leaders attempt the hard stuff even if it mean a high chance of failure.
Thanks for continuting to give this great food for thought.