5 Ways to Stop Fixing and Start Developing
One of my deepest disappointments with myself is judging people through the lens of my strengths. If they aren’t like me, they need to be fixed.
Fixing is rejecting. Judging blocks growth.
Disrespectful leaders look with contempt on talents and strengths that differ from theirs.
Better by respect:
I never appreciated the value of protecting gains until I came to respect leaders who anticipate problems. I thought protectors needed to be fixed, until I respected their perspective.
Planning was a pain to me until I valued the organizers in my life. As I learn to respect others, I benefit from their talent. But, when I expect everyone to be like me, I miss opportunities.
It goes both ways. The people I most influence, respect my passion to maximize their talent. Those who want me to be more like them, miss the greatest value I might bring.
Respect expands potential by opening minds and hearts to the talent of others.
5 ways to stop fixing and start developing:
Lousy leaders worry about receiving respect, but not showing it.
- Honor how teammates are better than you. (I sure hope you aren’t better than everyone on your team.)
- Explore how alternative perspectives might be “right”.
- Thank those who challenge you to grow, rather than resist them. Few things are more self-limiting than resisting those who challenge you.
- Reject frustration with the “wrong” way others approach opportunities and challenges.
- Put an end to snap judgments when you lead teams. Explore alternatives. But when you’re on the team, tenaciously advocate for your ideas.
Bringing out the best in people means adding their talent to the mix, not fixing them.
Reflect on your leadership journey. What have you learned from your deepest disappointments?
How might leaders show respect for the talent and strengths of others?
The best thing I learned about judging others, is that it kills the very thing I wanted to achieve both professionally and personally…respect, intimacy, trust, and relationship CANNOT flourish when judgment is present!
Hi Rhonda and Kathy: I read with interest your comments on judgment. The beauty of the “profession” of leadership is that it is comprised of art (judgment) and science (assessment),
otherwise any dummy could do it, respectfully.
Also, there is a stark distinction between criticism (which is seems always to “tear down and thus is destructive and hurts) and the word “critique”–which is always instructive and thus constructive. Critique is also an art and a science, and when used by an experienced and true professional–is like seeing and hearing Peter Drucker use a bit of Picasso and a bit of Einstein. Thank you.
COMMON Sense Selah……….
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When we judge others, we blame, shame and message disrespect and no one wants to be on the receiving end of any of these AND that goes for us as well so when we judge ourself or others we are creating a roadblock which stops possibility and innovation.
As leaders we can show respect by being present to listen, listening in a non-judging, open way and asking open questions that are curious so we can better understand others. Shifting from judging to seeking to understand messages respect, deepens connection and creates opportunity for possibility.
We should never put the work down of others just because we think we can do it better. There may be different goals that person is trying to achieve. Everyone does not measure success the same way. It’s not all about looking important, big cars, and big houses. It’s about doing what God would have you to do. We do this regardless whether we get recognition or rewarded for it. God gets accomplished what He wants accomplished in our lives. That is all that matters.
Thank those who challenge you to grow, rather than resist them. Few things are more self-limiting than resisting those who challenge you.
THIS is a real key. You should have people who push you, if nothing else, because you have created an atmosphere laced with free expression of ideas and thoughts.
This is interesting, especially considering the recent dead weight post. I look forward to thinking through how to keep both aspects in mind.