4 Ways to Stand with People When They Screw Up
Self-serving leaders throw people under the bus. Skillful leaders know that standing with people when they screw up …
- Strengthens relationships.
- Improves morale.
- Inspires trust.
- Instills courage.
- Deepens commitment.
How to stand with people:
#1. Take the heat.
- Own failure, even if you didn’t do it.
- Don’t lie and say you did it.
- Tell the truth. You are responsible. The only finger-pointing to do is at you.
#2. Honor responsible failure.
A casual attitude about failure is the attitude of losers, but the path to remarkable success is paved with failure and falling short.
People never become their best when you punish responsible failure.
Evaluating failure and adopting next-time-practices isn’t punishment. It’s growth and development.
Responsible failure requires:
- Maximum effort to succeed. Low effort isn’t an option.
- Clear objectives, goals, and results. You can’t succeed until you know what success looks like.
- Plans. If the plan was to improvise, at least you had a plan.
- Plans that distill into behaviors. What did you actually do?
- Fulfillment of day-to-day responsibilities. Procrastination is irresponsible failure.
#3. Focus on learning.
Treat responsible failure as a learning opportunity. It takes courage and commitment to ask, “What are you/we learning?”
An after action review (AAR) is one way to focus on learning.
- What was expected to happen?
- What actually occurred?
- What went well and why?
- What can be improved and how?
#4. Expect capable people to remedy their screw ups.
When the person who screwed up can’t remedy their own mistakes, train them, replace them, reassign them, or redesign their job.
The first question is, “What are you going to do to correct this failure?” (Assuming correction is an option.) If correction isn’t an option, the question is, “What are you going to do differently next time?”
Clarify what doing differently means. You can expect the same results until you do something differently.
How might leaders stand with people who screw up?
What other factors come into play when you think of “responsible” failure?
I learned the hard way that for many people in leadership positions, loyalty is a one-way street; I was expected to fall on my sword for them, “take one for the team,” etc. but was left twisting in the wind when I needed (and deserved) their support for “responsible failures.” Lessons learned: 1. Never trust such people, and 2. Don’t be like such people.
Thanks Jim. Many have learned the lesson you learned. Not everyone lives by the rules of reciprocity. I remember the disappointment of going for help from someone I had helped, but they didn’t have the time. It was so disappointing.
We have to decide why we serve. Do we serve in order to get benefit for ourselves. Or do we serve to bring advantage to others. (enjoying reciprocity is different from expecting it)
Some relationships are based mostly on reciprocity. But even then, it best to do what we do because it’s who we are.
Adam Grant advises that we avoid takers. Better to give to givers and matchers. Thanks again for your comment.
Perception and Expectations are great equalizers. Not having a clear understanding of who you lead can produce copious amounts of frustration and failure. The relationship between leaders and their followers diminish when a leader maintains expectations beyond the capacity of those they lead. Not that expectations should be low, but merely realistic. Frustration festers when lack of capacity or ability is perceived as a screw-up.
I work in an industry where screw-ups and failure are results of The Peter Principle not because of mental lapses or misunderstandings. People put in long hours and work diligently, but there are constant mistakes and oversights because they can’t perform the required duties at the required level.
Standing with people when they screw up is commendable, but having capable people in place could reduce the number of times you have to get up.
Two things I have learned over the years, one is that I have moved on from the word failure and inserted the word growth opportunity. It usually ends up being a growing experience for my colleague and for me. The second part is that in one way or another I have to provide scaffolding for the people that work with me. I can’t just give them something and disappear. Scaffolding is going to look different for each person and each project. If I don’t do that, I am the one who has not done his job, not them.
Good article; I’m confused about the #2 entry under Take the Heat though… is that a typo? It seems the opposite of the first entry. Am I not reading it correctly?