Purpose Simplified – Who Do You Want to be When You Grow Old
Living without purpose is easy; just run around doing stuff as fast as you can.
Turbulence, opportunity, and too much to do are the perfect environment for doing machines. But human beings require purpose to thrive in today’s world.
Richard Leider and David Shapiro explain the path to unlock purpose with three simple actions. But first, let me share a paragraph in their book that terrifies me.
Busy without purpose:
“There is one thing in the world that should not be forgotten. You may forget everything except that one thing, without there being any cause for concern. If you remember everything else, but forget that one thing, you will have accomplished nothing. It would be as if a king sent you to a village on a specific mission. If you went and performed a hundred other tasks, but neglected the task for which you were sent, it would be as though you had done nothing. The human being therefore has come into the world for a specific purpose and aim. If one does not fulfill that purpose, one has done nothing.” Rumi*
How to unlock purpose:
“Unlocking our purpose is typically an iterative process.” Leider/Shapiro
#1. Find out how you want to help
What are your gifts?
What do you love to do?
#2. Find out who you want to help
What pain or injustice or unhappiness have you witnessed that you just can’t live with?
What keeps you up at night?
#3. Find out what energizes you (and what drains you)
What are you willing to sacrifice for?
Leider and Shapiro explain the practices that unlock purpose.
Universal purpose:
The universal purpose of “Grow and Give,” will satisfy all who struggle to unlock their mystical personal purpose.
How might leaders unlock purposeful leadership?
Who Do You Want to Be When You Grow Old on Amazon (Released July 13, 2021)
*The Rumi Collection (2,000), translated by Kabir Halminski, in, Who Do You Want to Be When You Grow Old.
Dan, great piece and so true. I used to share with my son that the stars in the sky were everyone who found their purpose and lived it. The dark spaces were the places where individuals did not find their purpose. He said, “Really!” I said no, but the metaphor has always been a reminder of what lights our skies. Our purpose is what lights us. He was 17 when I shared that. Like Rumi’s quote does do you, I think what I told him scared him.
Anyway, we are built for purpose. We owe it to ourselves and others to find it. It is what helps us sustain our joy.
Be well…
Jim
Great seeing you today, Jim. Thanks for the story. Joy and purpose definitely go together. Not necessarily purpose and ease or joy and ease. Purpose enables us to do hard things, not avoid them. (I don’t know why your comment made me think of that.)
I am curious why you found the paragraph terrifying. To me, it was inspiring: find your goal and strive to achieve it, regardless of the distractions along the way.
Thanks for asking Jennifer. The thought that I might live a busy life but forget the one thing is terrifying. Frankly, I know what it’s like to live a busy life, but forget about purpose. I find it incredibly easy to do. Thanks again for asking.
That paragraph reminded me of this one from the Bible —
I Corinthians 13:1-6 NIV
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Thanks Brent. If you ask me, that’s the “give” component of universal purpose.
Great post – The quote makes me thing of burnout and how it can be defined as a “loss of focus”. Also, that life has ups and downs – we should be cognizant of the rhythms and how do we feel and respond when we lack purpose.
The Rumi quote is challenging taken alone and out of context, but his other writings on the supremacy of Islam leave little doubt as to what he thought one’s true “purpose” should be. For example:
“I am the servant of the Qur’an as long as I have life.
I am the dust on the path of Muhammad, the Chosen one.
If anyone quotes anything except this from my sayings,
I am quit of him and outraged by these words.”
Nevertheless, it is indeed easy to live a busy but purposeless life. We see it all around us every day. Wasted lives fill our jails and prisons, and the clamor for material wealth creates chronic busyness that crowds out many other purposeful pursuits. Mark 8:36, (ESV) says, “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” Indeed.
The older I get, and especially since retirement from my lengthy law enforcement career, the more I seek purpose in my life. I now concentrate on executing my responsibilities as a son, brother, husband, father, grandfather, uncle, friend, neighbor and citizen in ways that are as deliberately purposeful as the years I spent dividing my time between those duties and my career. I often regret that career duties at times took necessary but temporary precedence over those other roles. Life never lacks for purpose if one seeks it in service to others, and pursues it diligently.
Many women I know have had a purpose of serving everyone but themselves most of their life. – their families, their bosses, their friends. Many women and men have used their time, influence and money to help others during long careers. They did not wait to retire to “give back.” So this model of purpose in later life that is anchored in “who do you want to help” can be construed as misguided, narrow, and co-opted by the dominant culture where women disproportionately bear the burdens of care for the ill, the frail, the poor, the disabled, etc. Many of us have fragile work-life balance and/or inadequate self care boundaries and practices. People who want to adjust these and enjoy life, learning, family, art, and other pursuits deserve our respect. They “gave (their all) at the office.” Other perspectives welcome.
Unlocking our purpose is typically an iterative process. As an avid Design Thinker and fan of that framework, I love this and think it is profound. Too often we experience inaction as a result of a fear of failure. That fear or perhaps the need to be right/perfect holds us back and prevents us from learning more about ourselves, growing and eventually becoming the person we are intended to be. Brilliant statement in 8 words. Thanks Dan for sharing and leading the way!