How to Be Kinder to Yourself and Others
You don’t screw-up where I grew up. You dub-up. If you’ve never heard ‘dub-up’, you’re didn’t grow up in Central Maine. You’re from away. I’m here to help.
Illustration:
I dubbed-up yesterday.
Sometimes I write Monday’s post on Sunday afternoon. I schedule it for 6:31 a.m. Yesterday I dubbed-up the date and time. It went out Sunday at 6:31 p.m. (I don’t have a rational explanation for 6:31.)
Dubbing-up is kinder than screwing up. Friends dub-up. Strangers and idiots are screw-ups. When a friend backs the hay wagon into the side of the car, he’s a dubbah. If you can’t speak Mainiac, you say dubber. But the hard ‘err’ at the end feels harsh.
Explanation:
Somewhere in the mysterious past, folks from Maine rejected the ability to pronounce an ‘er’ sound at the end of words. We can pronounce ‘er’ just fine. It’s not a speech defect. It’s intentional.
If you’ve ever said ‘ahh’ for the doctor, you can learn to speak Mainiac. Maine folk say mothah. People from away say mother.
Mothah pahked the cah in the yahd. Translation. Mother parked the car in the yard. Understanding this means you’re smaht.
I tried to teach the grandchildren how to speak Mainiac during vacation in Maine. But they weren’t motivated. I suppose it’s not as melodious as an Irish brogue.
Are Mainiacs ashamed? I flaunt my ability to not pronounce Rs at the end of words. You might think it’s nothing to flaunt. But that’s all the more reason to do it, if you’re a true Mainiac.
Lesson:
You probably aren’t getting the point. I’ll spell it out. It’s more fun to be a dubbah than a loser. Don’t be so harsh. Be a dub-up, not a screw-up.
High expectations don’t have to be harsh.
Tip: Maybe if you don’t point out your dub-ups, people will think you’re smaht.
How might leaders have high expectations without being harsh?
For what it’s worth, I enjoyed the surprise dub-up last night!
Thanks evagankiewiczmerkel. Nothing like a positive dub-up.
I assumed it was a bonus for the end of the year. Until you said something.
Thank again Jennifer. Better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. 🙂
We Pittsburghers have our language too, Dan. Wersh the clothes, redup the house, run the sweeper and get ready with your Terrible Towel and Iron City beer to watch the Stillers game!
Thanks Sam. Yes! I remember the first time I heard “redup”. What the heck. You Pittsburghers are a bit odd. You sure love sports! Happy New Year
I’m an Army Brat, secret languages and acronyms are kind of my thing. This post reminded me of an acronym that was used often when I was a kid. SNAFU: situation normal, all f*^ked up. Ultimately, this acronym means that even when everything looks fine from the outside, things can still be a complete disaster once you really start to look at it. You come to an end result that works, but the journey to get there was full of chaos. Things going wrong every which way, words being spoken out of turn, actions having to be done over and over, corrections made, etc. Own your mistakes, but don’t get angry at yourself, look at the situation and how you got there. Figure out how what went wrong and fix it next time.
Thanks Lindsey. I recently learned about SNAFU when I read, Becoming Dr. Seuss. He was a co-creator of Private SNAFU. Personally, I love that expression.
I had no idea that this is where SNAFU comes from. I use the term all the time, now I know what I am saying! And I have just added Becoming Dr Seuss to my very long reading list. Learning something everyday!
Yesterday’s post came as a nice surprise. I didn’t realize it was a dub-up. 😊
I’m from MA (transplanted to CA 25+ yrs ago), and also grew up pronouncing my r’s as ah.
I enjoyed your analogy, and appreciate all of your posts that help me to look at things differently as I begin my workdays, Dan. Thank you!
Thanks for stopping in today, Caroline. I appreciate your encouraging words. They make a difference. Happy New Year.
BTW – I learned that some of my friends from Massachusetts called soda tonic.
Yes we absolutely did! ☺️ There are so many interesting bits of unique language across the country.
I’m always trying to find the lesson in the dub-up, or don’t cover-up the dub-up. But going against cultural habit makes people uncomfortable. I ask for kind positive analysis and they perceive I’m being harsh on myself. I try to give kind positive analysis as a leader and they perceive I’m being harsh on others. I tell my kids I don’t want to hear “I’m sorry,” I want to hear “I’ll do better next time” and parents shake their heads. I hope someday to find my place with like-minded people.
Thanks for your transparent comment. I work with people who aspire to improve. It’s the #1 quality for anyone who wants a coach.
Perhaps we need to learn the difference between coddling and encouragement.
Love, “Don’t cover-up the dub-up.”
Happy New Year Dan and thanks for all you do to help us and make us become more successful and followed Leaders!
Thank you, Sam. Happy New Year, to you sir. I wish you success in 2022.