How to Compete Like a Leader
Male cardinals attack reflections.
At first, I thought they were admiring themselves in the mirrors on my truck. As time passed, I realized they were attacking their reflection.
Focusing on the wrong competitor corrodes success.
Competing with team members.
The enemy isn’t out there.
Don’t compete with reflections. Someone outshines you on the team and you’re tempted to outshine them.
Your job is to help team members shine, not outshine them.
Jealousy undermines team performance.
Friendly competition only works when:
- Team success is more important than individual success.
- Players brings THEIR best without undermining teammates.
Competing with yourself.
If you’re competing with me, I’m not excited to help you. If you’re competing with yourself, I’m delighted to help.
Self-competition is about improvement – becoming your best self.
- Forget about making the other guy look bad.
- Focus on helping the other guy succeed.
“You can go after whatever you want. You just cannot deny anyone else to go after whatever they want.” Simon Sinek
Competition that strengthens a team builds sustained success, but trying to beat a team mate weakens teams.
Teams can’t succeed when team mates work to outshine each other.
How can you bring your best self to your colleagues today?
What prevents leaders from helping team members shine?
Further reading:
When Competition Between Coworkers Leads to Unethical Behavior (HBR)
How can you bring your best self to your colleagues today? My final statement to our staff is let me know what you need and we will get it as best we can! What is holding you up? direct questions promote positive outcomes. make a list and check them off so we don’t look in the mirror!
What prevents leaders from helping team members shine? Willingness to release control, you have to let them run with the ball when you hand off!
Thanks Tim. Wonderful insights. The ability to NOT BEAT AROUND the BUSH … AND have compassion serves leaders and teams well. Enjoy your weekend.
What prevents others from shining (in your eyes)?
Many times what we dislike in others is when they are reflecting our projections back onto us.
Hamlet struggled with it:
“Thou doth project too much, methinks.”
LoL!! Love that. 🥳
“Get thee to a brewery!” 😉
This is so helpful – being reflective is critical for understanding how we maybe unwittingly contribute to team/ colleague conflicts. Learning how to listen to, support, and celebrate our colleagues goes MILES toward productive collaboration. Thanks for your guidance in the journey!
I am interested in discussion about responding when you realize that you are the “reflection”, that despite efforts at collaborating, listening, supporting, and celebrating you find that another is directly (or indirectly) competing with you?
Thanks Karen. You ask an interesting question. The challenge is remembering that we can’t change others. But others can change themselves.
I wonder if persistently focusing on bring your best is still the foundation.
The problem is when others are are working to make us look bad.
You can brag about the accomplishments of your team and keep higher ups informed about your successes…without making others look bad.
??
Dear Dan,
Yet an another good post on finer qualities that a leader should possess!
A leader has to be sincere, honest and fair in his approach. Listen to the team members and consult them to go with planned actions to reach the set common goal. Followers always support the leader whom they trust and believe in his good intentions.
A leader has to act as good coach and guide the team to come out as Winner.
Good evening,
Great post.
Leadership and management should never encourage competition, but cooperation and creativity. Team work. As the saying goes: “Team work makes the dream work.”
I have encountered collegue directors who were not helpful in collaborating, after I had asked for rescue, and letting my team struggle while they could have contributed. What I saw was another leader doind all they could to continue to make their own team (and themselves) look great and successful. I believe this is more about that leader being insecure and needing to keep full control, to avoid any impact on their fragile ability to keep everything in balance. It was not about making me look bad. So I guess I was fortunate not to have colleagues with bad intentions directed on me specifically, but the result was the same. I got hurt along the way. It’s a jungle out there.
“If you’re competing with me, I’m not excited to help you. If you’re competing with yourself, I’m delighted to help.”
A very empowering statement that I agree with. I know for certain past team members have looked to me to be the shinning star or their savior to a problem. But I don’t always work well when others already feel less than because I’m there. In the past I would just shy away from helping, slowing progress. But For those who ask for the help and genuinely want to be better, well then I’m all in. I try to help my team be better than yesterday. It isn’t always easy, but the challenge is good for my personal development.