How to be Judged 132% More Effective as a Leader
Negative environments are built by default.
50% of our emotional vocabulary describes negative emotion. 30% describes positive emotion. 20% is neutral. Robert Schrauf
You have more words for negative energy than positive emotion.
The problem of negativity is compounded when you realize that only one of your core emotions is universally positive. (Anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise.)
Go positive:
Happy leaders are judged to be 132% more effective than negative leaders. (NYT)
If perception matters, cheer up.
The real you:
The words you use tell others who you are. You might think that persistent criticism, for example, is a useful leadership quality. Others call you negative.
Emotion is energy.
Conversations establish direction and create emotion.
Criticism:
- Corrodes optimism.
- Inspires fear.
- Drains energy.
- Invites defensiveness.
- Causes anger.
Critics:
If you’re a critic, people hate seeing you walk into a room. They wish you’d go away. If they could, they’d avoid you.
The habit of criticism springs from arrogance.
You complain because you want others to think and act like you think and act.
One hour project for critics:
Determine to spend one hour only using language that builds up people and teams. No criticism allowed for one hour. If you’re brave, try it for a morning.
Don’t hide in your office for your one hour project.
How might leaders stop relying on criticism to improve people and processes?
How might leaders approach negative situations with a ‘build up’ approach?
Wow, Dan. One of your Very Best, in my opinion and I have read hundreds of your great posts.
I probably spent 5 minutes simply reflecting on your first 4 paragraphs. There is so much to consider,. And my “quantitative” experience support this. I used to show an illustration called Trial and Error, with a team of people working to improve a Square Wheel wagon by using, of course, a horse.
The only “issue” with this is that the horse would be pushing the wagon from behind. The four people involved in this innovation are standing away from the wagon, on the top of a hill. And I ask participants in a workshop to comment on the wagon and the horse and the overall situation. ROUTINELY, we would get 20 to 30 negative comments compared to 3 or 4 positive ones, around the stupidity of using a horse that way, and generally that the people are about to run away over the hill.
I reframe this with an overlay of a Blame Frame and I ask them, “What is RIGHT about what they are doing?” With that, I can elicit 20 to 30 POSITIVE ones, but I gotta ASK them and reframe this around the issues of innovation and continuous continuous improvement and perspective. Will standing on the hill and LOOKING at this first attempt to improve be a good thing? (Absolutely)
People DO go negative, and Constructive Criticism is an oxymoron.
So many things in your post that require further reflection. But man, a great post for “Continuous Cognition and Reflection.” You let the cat out of the bag on this one. Neatly done. Give us MORE!!
Wow! Thanks Scott. I respect you and your kind words encourage me.
Love your insights and the practice of moving conversations to what’s wrong to what’s right. We have to be led to notice what’s right! Brilliant.
How might leaders approach negative situations with a ‘build up’ approach?
Leaders need to start with questions such as
–What can I do to help improve the situation?
–What’s going right (appreciative inquiry)?
–Who has the hidden or underutilized skills/talents?
–How can this problem be re-framed into an opportunity?
Thanks Paul. Brilliant questions. It’s so easy to sink into black holes. Your last question is my favorite. How might this problem be an opportunity!
Paul and I go way back and Paul is one of those clear thinking people that we both like!
In confrontations, on the negative side, I have always liked, “What’s left for me to do if (your behavior) continues?” as a transitional phrase to get them suggesting what will happen to them if they continue to choose badly!
Funny, that, huh?
I have asked my 2 assistants to take note of any of my negative words and share that info with me. I suspect that we are not always aware of how our words are perceived by others. We may think we are being positive but is that how we are seen? Working on it.
Thanks Walt. Your approach is essential, especially if it’s done with fun. I’ve noticed when I talk about complaining and criticizing that people get very serious. I think that’s because this is a real issue for many of us.
But, there’s no need to be so serious. Have some fun!
I also believe that inviting others into the process is essential for success.
Walt seems well aware of that reality that you can run, but you can’t hide. We are simply very visible to other people. Having them in a positive, corrective mode is a superb idea. But we ALSO need to make sure that they do not provide us with that “constructive criticism” in their sincere efforts to help us.
My Mom knows no other style of giving performance improvement information than using CC, and I have developed pretty good defense mechanisms to let that water roll off the duck’s back during my 70 years on this planet.
SO much simply depends on style!
I had a employee who was challenged in her people skills. I did made a rule with her. I would work on things rolling off my back if she worked on things NOT rolling off her tongue.
I also agree with you Scott when I use an employee for feed back it can create issues. Thank you for your input.
Remember that being right or being “honest” with people will not help their performance if they can’t hear your message because they are dealing with their emotional response to your negative tone.
Thanks Bonnie. Yes! I like to say that we must deal with emotion before we try to solve a problem. Negative emotion blocks our ability to hear and think clearly. Often, just feeling heard helps us relax and deal with the real issue.
I wish I had a pound for every time I’ve heard somebody in the UK say to a cheerful, positive leader “How are you looking to shaft me over today?” I’d be a very rich man indeed!
So I suppose you shouldn’t be too cheerful.
Life is shaped by how we think and what we focus on. A leader can consciously change their filter from a critical one to a pro active filter. When one shifts from a negative filter to a pro active filter their body language and verbal language reflect this.
Thanks Gerry. Your comment pushes in the direction of being active. The illusion that talking and action are the same thing is frustrating to me.
Words set a tone and direction. The question becomes. How can we take the next step.