“What brings you joy?” This is not a trick question. There is no right answer. Really, what lights you up? What makes you laugh? What fills you? Don’t overthink this. What was the first thing that came to mind? Take a moment at this time of year (or anytime) and reflect on what exhilarates you, when you are at your best, and who makes you smile. Whatever—or whomever— it is, says something real about you, what you value, and who you are. That is why the University of North Carolina at Asheville (UNCA) wants to know. In fact, they ask this directly on their application. “What brings you joy?”
A Question Of Joy
Kortni Campbell, the Vice Chancellor for Admission & Financial Aid at UNCA, explains that this question—one she had long wanted to ask—came to fruition in 2021. She says, “At the height of Covid, colleges and universities were quick to add questions to our applications about the impact and implications of the pandemic on applicants. Expectedly, we learned about the challenges of virtual learning, canceled classes and extracurriculars, and sometimes, incredible loss. In subsequent cycles, we've seen the longer-term effect as many students share their struggles with feelings of isolation, anxiety, and depression throughout the application.” She adds, “While I am grateful for their transparency and the way students are increasingly pushing schools to address mental health care on our campuses, I felt we were missing something. I also watched our admission team struggle with the weight of what they were reading and what their students were carrying. It was time to try the joy question.”
Campbell emphasizes that the addition of this question “was not merely to lighten the mood.” She says, “it was a simple way to let students know that we wanted to see them...that we valued them. No matter how much we encourage students to be and celebrate themselves, the college application process is a performative endeavor.” She adds, “Our experience with responses to the joy question to this point is that it's often the most real part of the application. In a sentence or two, we see flashes of possibility, resilience, hope, and playfulness as students share their love of baking, running, family pets, or creative pursuits. In a sentence or two, we get a glimpse of who these students are, not of who they think we want them to be.” Campbell concludes that, “maybe it is rooted in the question's simplicity or perhaps the need to connect with something good, but the response to this question often tracks as the least practiced part of the application. And I appreciate that.”
Feel The Joy
I have recently written pieces on how students and parents can handle disappointing news. However, this is also a time when many college applicants are receiving “good tidings of great joy” about early admission decisions. It is among the most uplifting moments as a counselor to have students bound into my office with their acceptances or to receive emails that overflow with pride, gratefulness, and jubilation. These successes are not some sort of holiday miracle, but rather a manifestation of years of hard work and unique contributions. It is about opportunity, potential, and a commitment to one’s future. If you are a student fortunate to be in this place—whether it is your first choice or your backup plan—take time to celebrate and share your joy.
Search For Joy
If you are a high school junior beginning the college search, pause before you launch into building a list. Don’t immediately get mired in the details of where you want to go and what you need to do. Think about why you want to go to college and how you want to approach the experience. Consider two questions:
- What brings you joy?
- How will that inform your search?
Amidst a mental health crisis with high school and college-age students, you owe it to yourself and your ultimate well-being to lead with these questions.
Will your college experience be one of perpetual joy? Unlikely. There will inevitably be moments of regret, uncertainty, frustration, and doubt about the decisions you have made. This is to be expected—it is human nature. However, if you endeavor at the outset to identify the sources of joy for you, it will see you through these low moments. As you research, visit, and decide on a college, ask these questions to those whom you meet on campus:
- “Where do students at your school find joy?”
- “How does the community celebrate joyfulness?”
Protect Your Joy
President Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This is especially true in college admission. As decisions are released, it is tempting for students to compare themselves to other applicants, and their outcomes, at the same schools. Often they also judge the schools to which they have been admitted according to the colleges where their peers were accepted. Don’t do this. What brings you joy is different than where your friends might find joy. Parents can easily fall into this trap, comparing a child to a sibling, neighbor, or classmate. They might use their own college experience as a barometer for their child’s search and decision. Heed Roosevelt’s caution and do not allow your adult lens to cloud their hopes and joys.
The college admission process is sometimes approached with fear, anxiety, and disdain, as though it is something to survive or get through. It can be a hopeful, and yes, joyful experience. Allow it to be so, and enter in with the right mindset. Regardless of where you are in the journey, as you celebrate this holiday season, I wish you “good tidings of great joy!”
