An inferiority complex can lead you to never feel good enough, no matter how much you succeed. This can majorly impact your life, especially when your critical inner voice diminishes your self-esteem so much you don’t go for that promotion or other achievement you’ve been working toward. While it seems similar to imposter syndrome, an inferiority complex typically involves more than feeling like a fraud at work. It’s a pervasive sense of low self-esteem in your daily life that causes you to continuously judge yourself on unfair terms.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. There are ways to overcome self-doubt, build your self-esteem, and silence your inner critic.
Understanding inferiority complex
It’s normal to feel inadequate sometimes. This can motivate us to grow. But when these feelings of inadequacy are constant, we need to identify whether we have an inferiority complex before our sense of self-worth suffers.
What is an inferiority complex?
An inferiority complex is a continuous feeling of inadequacy or insecurity. This concept was introduced by psychotherapist Alfred Adler in 1907, but these days, you may hear it referred to as chronic low self-esteem.
Feelings of inadequacy occasionally pop up for all of us. Major life events, like getting divorced or bombing a job interview, can tank our self-confidence. But after the dust settles, those with healthy self-esteem recover with resilience, while those with an inferiority complex continue to engage in self-criticism and self-doubt.
An inferiority complex can reveal itself in many ways. You may call yourself names, reinforce limiting beliefs, or focus on your perceived shortcomings. In extreme cases, an inferiority complex can lead to withdrawal from the outside world driven by a fear of comparison. Some may even experience aggression driven by a need to prove themselves, and Adler concluded that this behavior, called a superiority complex, is a cover-up for an inferiority complex.
7 signs of an inferiority complex
Debating whether you’re experiencing a normal sense of inadequacy? Here are seven common signs that psychotherapist Alana Barlia, LMHC, says indicate a sense of inferiority:
- Assume the worst
- Dismissive of praise
- Sensitivity to criticism
- Withdrawal from social situations
- Obsessively comparing yourself to others
- Perfectionism and fear of making mistakes
- Excessive competitiveness or overcompensation
Reframe your worth and potential to overcome inferiority complex
If you’ve identified any of those feelings toward yourself or behaviors, this is a good thing. It means you’re waking up.
Psychologist and author Nicole LePera says, “Waking up just means we’re aware we’re living out patterns.”
Waking up can be painful. We may feel like we’re broken and falling apart. But on the flip side, waking up shows us we’re human and, despite our flaws, we’re worthy of love and success. We must confront the parts of ourselves we want to change for the better.
Challenge negative thoughts
Nothing turns on the firehose of anxiety, shame, and guilt like negative thoughts.
Identifying negative thoughts is the first step toward changing them. When you’re ready to challenge your negative thoughts, these methods can help:
- Journaling. Explore your thoughts on paper, jot down affirmations, and express your emotions. Writing things down in a journal can help you identify and reframe negative thought patterns. Ask yourself, “What am I telling myself?” and then follow up with a reality check like “What’s the evidence for and against what I’m telling myself?” or “Am I jumping to a negative conclusion?”
- Identifying cognitive distortions. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) involves identifying cognitive distortions, like all-or-nothing thinking, catastrophizing, and labeling. Once identified, therapy helps you replace them with more realistic thoughts. Learn how to identify and challenge cognitive distortions when they appear in your negative self-talk.
- Practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness helps you to stop ruminating on the past or mistakes. To practice it, get in touch with the present moment and focus on your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. The key is to do this without judgment — accept your thoughts, feelings, and emotions as they are and instead nurture curiosity and kindness toward yourself.
- Meditating. Like mindfulness, meditation can ease stress by helping you focus on your thoughts and feelings. By improving your self-awareness through meditation, you can begin to regulate your emotions and find inner peace.
Okay, you’re ready to challenge your hurtful inner critic, but how do you replace negative thoughts with positive ones?
One method is to reframe your inner dialogue. Ask yourself if this is how you’d speak to a dear friend or family member. If it’s not, how is the way you speak to yourself different from how you speak to those you love? Identifying the differences is a great first step toward understanding how reframing negative thoughts requires love, acceptance, and kindness.
Of course, you won’t switch from a negative inner monologue to a cheery, supportive one overnight. It takes consistent work.
Starting small is okay, too. For example, if your inner critic says, “I always make mistakes, I’m a failure,” reframe this thought as “I’m human, and making mistakes is part of the learning process.”
Embrace your strengths and celebrate imperfections
Your strengths and weaknesses make you who you are. While you try to improve on your weaknesses, don’t shame yourself for them.
For example, you may scroll through social media and believe you’re not good-looking. First off, this is a lie, and social media is harmful. Second, these same celebrities and influencers you compare yourself to have imperfections and flaws — they just hide them.
“The best parts of us and the parts that we’re trying to change often live on the same continuum,” says Brené Brown, a University of Houston research professor.
Brown advises using your strengths to grow. Instead of believing imperfections are permanent, it’s healthier to adopt a growth mindset and believe that you can strengthen your shortcomings through personal development.
Redefine what success means to you
What is success anyway?
Chances are it looks a lot different for you than it does for me. And that’s okay. Someone else’s success shouldn’t define your own. We each have our own goals to achieve.
Instead of comparing your accomplishments with others, look for ways to redefine success to align with your core values and ideal life. What does success look like to you? Writing down your answer gives you a chance to revisit this thought and gauge whether you’re succeeding on your own terms.
If you’re not succeeding according to your personal definition, you can explore why. Some possible answers may be that your idea of success has changed since you wrote it down, or you’re trying to live up to someone else’s definition of success.
Build confidence from within
Achieving your goals is a powerful way to begin building confidence. The key is to set yourself up for success by starting small, writing your goals down, and celebrating every win no matter how small.
Set SMART goals and track progress
You probably know this by now, but SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound) are designed to help you succeed.
You may also want to keep your SMART goals limited to short-term goals. Short-term goals are stepping stones toward building self-confidence. These quick wins keep you motivated and feeling positive, while larger, long-term goals may leave you feeling demotivated because they take a lot more effort and time to achieve.
Celebrate small wins
Those small goals become small wins, and these are worth celebrating. Why? This helps you build positivity.
“Celebration is the best way to use emotions and create a positive feeling that wires in new habits,” says behavioral scientist B.J. Fogg, founder and director of the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University. He adds that celebration can teach us self-compassion.
If you struggle to pat yourself on the back even after achieving what anyone else would call an accomplishment, try doing what Fogg calls the Celebration Blitz:
- Head to the messiest room in your home.
- Set a timer for three minutes.
- Start cleaning and celebrate each step toward a tidier home.
The key is to celebrate each and every success, even if it feels awkward. Tossed some trash in the bin? Celebrate. Wiped off your desk? Say, “That looks so much better.” Grabbed your child’s toys and popped them back in a cubby? Tell yourself, “Great job!”
As soon as the timer goes off, pause and check on your feelings. More than likely you’ll feel lighter and have a more positive outlook.
Surround yourself with supportive people
You deserve friends who celebrate your accomplishments, however small, right alongside you. Good friends support you and challenge you even if it makes waves.
Psychotherapist Dr. Sara Kuburic, co-founder of the Phenomenological Society and author of “It’s On Me,” writes that we should strive to keep the following types of people close:
- People who tell us the truth
- People who accept us as we are
- People with qualities you admire
- People who are encouraging and supportive
- People who encourage you to share your emotions
- People who provide a safe space and build genuine connections
Unlock your full potential
Find your authentic self and live with purpose
Adopting a growth mindset and working toward change may mean we need to rediscover ourselves. This is normal, many of us experience an identity crisis during major life events and changes.
Remember that an inferiority complex, along with limiting beliefs, can cloud the vision you have of your authentic self. You can lift the veil and begin rediscovering yourself by looking inward to identify what brings you joy.
Joyful things are related to your strengths and core values, and focusing on them makes it easier to adopt a growth mindset, pursue personal development, and unravel your purpose.
Practice acceptance
Acceptance is also key to finding your true self. When we experience an inferiority complex, we may feel unworthy of acceptance.
Tara Brach, author of “Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha,” calls this the “trance of unworthiness” and notes that this state of being blocks us from understanding who we really are.
Acceptance can also tame extreme emotional reactions to negative experiences, such as receiving criticism at work or making a public mistake. By toning down our reactions, we can prevent ourselves from making these negative experiences worse and keep them from adding to our inferiority complex. This benefits our well-being, life satisfaction, and symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Ask for help when you need it
Sometimes we struggle to accept ourselves no matter how many goals we set or achievements we celebrate. This is when it’s time to ask for help.
We all need help at one time or another, and there’s no shame in asking friends or family for support. You may also benefit from outside help, either through coaching or therapy. These forms of outside help contribute to your well-being but in different ways.
Coaches guide you to change the way you think by challenging your beliefs. They help you get unstuck and achieve your goals. Best of all, coaches provide an unbiased perspective that helps you identify the causes of your inferiority complex so you can overcome them and realize your best self.
Coaches can help you reframe the way you think about yourself, including negative beliefs. A mindset coach may help you shift your perspective if you struggle with a negative self-image.
A therapist, on the other hand, focuses on your mental health and how it contributes to your personal and professional achievements. Mental health professionals tend to focus on the past rather than the present or future to help you heal mental health conditions.
Depending on your needs, your therapist will suggest different approaches to address your inferiority complex. Some potential methods include dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which encourages acceptance and positive changes to deal with difficult emotions, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which focuses on changing negative thought patterns, or psychodynamic therapy (also called talk therapy), which helps you develop self-awareness and understand how your emotions impact your behavior.
When to seek professional help
Therapy may be necessary to overcome your inferiority complex if it’s connected to childhood trauma. Childhood experiences, referred to as primary inferiority, can contribute to feelings of inadequacy even as an adult.
Affection in childhood is linked to health and happiness in adults. The Gottman Institute, a research and education institute focused on relationships, curated a list of studies that show that adults who experienced unconditional love and affection and skin-to-skin contact in childhood displayed better mental health. On the other hand, the same studies found that children who experienced less affection and abuse struggled with mental health as adults.
Additionally, experiences you have as an adult can lead to negative self-perception. This is called secondary inferiority and could involve traumatic events like divorce or losing a job.
If you think your inferiority complex is related to trauma or a mental health condition like anxiety or depression, it may be beneficial to explore therapy.
You don't have to overcome an inferiority complex alone
We all struggle with negative thoughts and self-imposed limitations. But if yours are holding you back from enjoying life, don’t be afraid to ask someone to help you flip the script.
A BetterUp coach can help you challenge your inner monologue and think about things differently. They’ll help you explore the reasons behind your inferiority complex and build positive habits that lead to purpose, enjoyment, and overall well-being.
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