Empathy helps you relate to others on a profound human level, understand their problems together, and support the people around you. If you’re a highly empathetic person, you might identify as an empath: someone who can sense others’ feelings and relate to them on a deeper level.
But being constantly aware of other people’s emotions can be exhausting. It might even have significant impacts on your own life and make you feel tired and drained — a phenomenon sometimes known as empathy or compassion fatigue.
So what are the emotional triggers for empaths, and how can you avoid them? Recognizing the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that affect you most is the first step to understanding your role as an empath and developing self-awareness and self-control.
What is an empath?
The term “empath” describes a person who feels another person’s emotions. Someone who identifies this way experiences high levels of compassion and empathy. Understanding that you’re a highly empathetic person can help you express your feelings and work through your reactions to other people’s emotions.
Identifying as an empath has become more common in the past decade or so. But while empathy is a well-defined trait that appears in formal documentation — like the American Psychological Association Dictionary of Psychology — the term “empath” isn’t officially recognized.
It’s an informal way to express high sensitivity to empathy. Some empaths also identify as highly sensitive persons (HSPs), a term coined by psychologist Elaine Aron.
When you feel empathy, the brain measures motor, sensory, and emotional stimuli to comprehend another person’s experience and respond appropriately. You respond to someone’s pain with support and compassion or match someone’s joy with excitement for them. Empaths feel these emotional responses on a more extreme level.
Empaths and HSPs react to people’s feelings more deeply than others do, sometimes to the point of sensory overload. Being so attuned to the energy around you can turn you into an emotional sponge, in which external forces dictate your feelings to the point where they’re hard to control.
If you aren’t intentional about separating another person’s emotional pain from your own, you could set yourself up for empathy fatigue.
The capacity to put yourself in another person’s shoes and feel their emotions is a powerful tool, as long as you take care of yourself. Set healthy boundaries to support the people around you while prioritizing your sense of comfort.
You can form deeper bonds with your friends, partners, and family members, develop supportive relationships at work, and interact with compassion in your daily encounters if you’re setting boundaries.
How to know if you’re an empath
If you feel overwhelmed by other people’s emotions, you may be a highly empathetic person. Here are some common characteristics of people who identify as empaths or HSPs:
1. You absorb other people’s emotions
You may feed off others’ emotions and experiences, both the good and the bad. When you’re surrounded by joy and gratitude, you feel the same positive energy. But you also absorb negativity, like anger, anxiety, and pain, which can lead to emotional exhaustion.
For example, if your best friend tells you they’re expecting a child, you may feel elated by the news and your friend’s own excitement. Likewise, if your best friend is having a bad day and needs to vent for a while, you can feel their anger, even if your day is going well.
2. You’re sensitive to insensitive people
You might feel long-lasting negative emotions when people are selfish, unkind, or arrogant. People who aren’t as empathetic might be able to brush off these experiences, but you could find it harder to do so. Even a small or indirect interaction can throw off your mood significantly.
If you encounter a rude customer at work, you might feel frustrated at their behavior long after they leave, past the point at which other people would “get over it.”
3. You frequently feel a sensory overload
Spending time at a loud event or in crowded spaces might affect your energy more if you’re an empath or HSP. You may find yourself zoning out or shutting down in noisy environments, like when conversations overlap.
The lights, sounds, and energy at a concert might put a less sensitive person in a good mood. But as an empath, you might feel overwhelmed by the noise and crowd.
4. You need alone time
As an empath or HSP, you might need regular time to yourself. Since social interaction takes more emotional energy for you than it might for others, you might leave social situations feeling more tired. Alone time helps you recharge your social battery, focus on your own thoughts, and take a break from absorbing others’ emotions.
When you don’t have enough alone time to protect your energy, you may have a hard time socializing with others or feel physically or emotionally drained. You could also struggle to set healthy relationship boundaries because you don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, even if it comes at a cost to your own well-being.
5. You strive for perfection:
Perfectionism is a common coping mechanism for sensitive people. You may be worried about potential conflict, disappointment, or frustration from another person — even if they’ve never expressed any of those emotions to you previously. Striving for perfection to avoid conflict is a common habit of empathetic people.
At work, for example, you may frequently work overtime, stress over deadlines, or pay attention to minute details. You could push yourself too hard out of fear of making a mistake and upsetting your superiors.
8 emotional triggers for empaths
If you’re an empath or HSP, understanding some common emotional triggers can help you set boundaries and take better care of yourself. Here are eight triggers to watch out for:
1 . Seeing someone suffer
Empathetic people absorb the energy around them. When someone close to you is having a rough time, you could feel profoundly impacted. For example, if a friend loses a loved one, you might feel overcome with grief or sadness even though you're not the one experiencing the loss.
2. Striving for high expectations
If you identify as an empath or HSP, chances are you’re a people pleaser. When expectations or demands from others are more than you can accommodate, you might feel frustrated with yourself or fear of disappointing others.
If your manager needs help finishing a project after hours, you may feel guilty for saying no even though it’s well within your rights, and overworking yourself can lead to burnout at work.
3. Being told to “get over it”
Expressing your emotional response is valid. But when other people respond with contempt, frustration, or annoyance, you might feel like a burden or that you’re being overdramatic, which can be triggering.
When a partner says you’re overreacting to a disagreement, you might feel guilty for expressing your emotions or question your own feelings.
4. Feeling helpless
Highly sensitive people are usually natural nurturers. When you can’t come to someone’s rescue, you might feel helpless and overly worried.
For example, if a friend needs help with a problem at work and you aren’t sure how to lend a hand, you might feel like you let them down, even though the problem is out of your control.
5. Having too much one-on-one time
Empaths and HSPs typically enjoy deep connections in their relationships, but sometimes too much of a good thing can feel overwhelming. Going on a vacation with a good friend or partner might make you feel pressure to be constantly available, and you’ll avoid important alone time to recharge in order to please them.
6. Learning about injustice
Some people might be able to see tragedy on the news or hear about injustice, feel sympathy, and move on. But as an empath, you may have a more extreme reaction and find it hard to let go of those feelings. News of a natural disaster in another part of the world could trigger you to feel intense emotions.
7. Getting too much attention
After paying attention to others’ feelings, you might feel uncomfortable when the tables turn. If you’re suddenly the center of attention with lots of people talking to or watching you, it can be overwhelming. If you’re giving a presentation at work, you might worry that people may be judging you.
8. Feeling left out
As an empath or HSP, you might do your best to make others feel comfortable. When other people don’t return the favor, you could feel like you’ve done something wrong, even if that person didn’t mean to make you feel that way.
For example, if someone doesn't include you in a conversation, you might feel like they don’t like you and you’re being left out on purpose.
How to manage your emotions as an empath
Learning how to deal with being an empath or feeling strong emotions can help you take care of your mental health. Here are tips for empaths, HSPs, and other people who want to manage their emotions.
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Learn empath boundaries: Figure out what your triggers are, set boundaries, and self-regulate. And do your best to surround yourself with people who respect your limits. For example, if someone’s constant pessimism brings you down, learn to walk away or limit your interactions with them.
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Acknowledge others’ disappointment: Some people simply won’t understand your sensitivity, and that’s okay. If crowded spaces make you feel uncomfortable, don’t feel pressured to go to a big party to please a friend. Your choice is still valid, even if someone else feels disappointed.
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Put yourself first: If you want to serve others, you have to take care of yourself first. If you’re emotionally exhausted or need to recover from burnout, you can’t help someone else with their feelings. Learn to listen to your body and mind, find a self-care plan that feels right for you, and take care of yourself when you feel triggered.
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Don’t bottle up your feelings: Staying quiet doesn’t make your negative emotions go away. It just means that you suffer through them alone. Learn to speak up for yourself and seek help when you need it.
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Learn to say no: You can’t be everybody’s support network. People who care about you will understand if you don’t have the emotional capacity to help them all the time. Communicate your boundaries and learn how to say no when you need space.
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Surround yourself with positive people: As an empath, you might absorb all types of feelings, not just the bad ones. Prioritize relationships with people who make you feel good about yourself, and set boundaries with the people who negatively affect your energy.
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Start a journal: When you feel anxious or distressed, journaling can help you work through those feelings. You can explain and accept negative thoughts and get them out of your system.
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Seek help for bigger issues: Empaths and anxiety sometimes go hand in hand. High emotional awareness and sensitivity can make you feel anxious to the point where it negatively affects your emotional well-being. If you notice you’re experiencing more anxiety than usual, tell a friend or ask for help.
Feel it out
Experiencing high levels of empathy, or being a sensitive person, is a gift. If you identify as an empath, you can better relate to other people’s feelings and connect with others on a deep and profound level.
But empathy is a double-edged sword. You may absorb emotions that impact your own feelings more than they should, and it can be hard to let go of them.
Learning what the emotional triggers for empaths are is a good way to acknowledge your emotions and avoid situations that affect you negatively. Practice self-awareness and set healthy boundaries. You can still be a compassionate person and support the people around you.
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