Let’s take a look at the concept of feeling alone and 18 tips and activities that will help you fight loneliness.
What does feeling lonely mean?
Feeling lonely is a subjective emotional experience characterized by a sense of isolation, disconnection, and longing for companionship or meaningful social connection. It's more than just being physically alone; it's about feeling a lack of understanding, support, or intimacy in one's relationships or social interactions.
Loneliness can manifest differently for each person, ranging from a fleeting sensation to a persistent and profound feeling of emptiness or sadness. Various factors, including social isolation, life transitions, loss, mental health issues, or societal factors can trigger it. Ultimately, feeling lonely reflects a deep-seated human need for connection, belonging, and acceptance.
Of course, not all people who are alone experience loneliness. Some are quite happy in their own company. So, loneliness can be defined as a perceived state of being lonely or alone.
What causes loneliness?
Loneliness can stem from a variety of factors, both internal and external. Here are some common causes of loneliness:
- Social isolation: When people lack meaningful connections with others due to factors like living alone, working remotely, or lacking a close-knit group of friends, they may feel lonely.
- Life transitions: Major life changes such as moving to a new city, starting a new job, or going through a breakup can disrupt social networks and lead to feelings of loneliness.
- Loss: The death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or estrangement from family and friends can trigger profound feelings of loneliness and grief.
- Mismatched social needs: Sometimes, people may feel lonely even when surrounded by others if they don't feel understood or supported, or if their social interactions lack depth and authenticity.
- Mental health issues: Conditions like depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem can exacerbate feelings of loneliness by distorting perceptions of oneself and others, making it harder to form and maintain meaningful connections.
- Cultural and societal factors: Societal trends such as increased mobility, longer working hours, and the prevalence of social media can contribute to feelings of loneliness by disrupting traditional community structures and interpersonal relationships.
- Stigmatization and discrimination: People who belong to marginalized groups may experience loneliness due to societal prejudice, discrimination, and the lack of inclusive social spaces.
Addressing loneliness often requires a multifaceted approach that may involve building social skills, cultivating self-awareness and self-compassion, seeking professional support, and actively seeking out opportunities for meaningful connections with others.
18 tips to overcome loneliness and feel less lonely
People experience loneliness for various reasons, often stemming from a lack of meaningful connection and understanding in their social relationships.
Whether due to social isolation, life transitions, loss, mental health challenges, or societal factors, the feeling of loneliness can be deeply distressing. It's a complex emotional state that arises when individuals perceive a gap between the quality and quantity of their desired social interactions and their actual experiences.
Addressing loneliness requires not only getting to know people and building and nurturing relationships but also developing self-awareness, self-compassion, and the skills to navigate social connections effectively.
Though there’s no easy fix, you can prevent feelings of loneliness from spiraling out of control by implementing a few tips.
1. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is a practice. It means intentionally bringing your mind and senses to focus on being present in the moment. Often, we tend to dwell on the past or anticipate the future.
Practicing mindfulness will help you stay grounded in the present moment. You can remind yourself to become mindful as you go through your day. Studies have shown that mindfulness can improve your physical and mental well-being. It can also control your negative emotions.
But how can you make sure you’re being mindful? Simply focus on breathing in and out. Gradually let your senses become aware of the sounds, scents, emotions, sights, and the world around you.
2. Walk and spend time outdoors
Research has shown that walking and spending time outdoors for just 20 minutes a day can reduce social isolation and loneliness. There is growing evidence to suggest that spending time outdoors in nature has mental health benefits.
This is because urban spaces are built to capture our attention, while natural environments allow us to simply be. They tend to be more restorative, like gardens, beaches, hilltops, and forests.
3. Get a pet
About 11 million households acquired a new pet during the 2020 lockdown in the US alone. And while that could be assumed as a response to feeling alone, there are many mental health benefits to having a pet.
Interacting with animals reduces cortisol levels.
Having pets can also reduce social isolation. It also improves moods, reduces blood pressure, and prevents feelings of loneliness.
Studies show that people with pets experience an intense connection and companionship.
4. Volunteer
Loneliness is often associated with a loss of meaning. While volunteering can make you feel useful and increase your self-worth. Just participating in volunteer work for two hours a week can lift your mood and leave you feeling more connected.
This can be something like serving at a soup kitchen, reading stories at the pediatric ward, or doing temperature checks in public spaces. The opportunities are endless.
5. Join a group with shared interests
Making friends as an adult is less straightforward than as a kid. Maybe you’re already part of a group meeting the same people every week. You could also be a complete novice who has never been part of a group. Joining a social group gives you a chance to meet new people and find human connection if you’re feeling alone.
Some examples of this could be a martial arts school, a chess group, a book club, a toastmaster event, or even a K-pop dance-off if that’s your thing.
Identify the things that you love to do and look for like-minded people that you can meet. This will help you create a social connection.
6. Engage in acts of kindness
Kindness can make a major impact on close friends and strangers. Perform random acts of kindness for others, such as volunteering, helping a friend in need, or expressing appreciation, which can foster connection and combat loneliness.
7. Practice a craft
One of the ways you can beat feeling alone is by embracing your hobbies. It could be something you’ve always known how to do or it could be something completely new.
Consider any number of crafting hobbies:
- Knitting
- Pottery
- Baking
- Quilting
- Sewing
- Painting
- DIY projects
- interior decorating
- Woodworking
- Photography
- Calligraphy
- Decoupage
- Scrapbooking
- Gardening
- Playing an instrument
There are a lot more, but you get the idea.
8. Set goals
Setting goals can help you feel purposeful. It will give you a destination. Life won’t seem like something you have to just get through, but something you can look forward to. It may even make you want to jump out of your bed every morning.
There are a range of goals to consider. Here are some ideas of areas to get your started:
If you can’t seem to identify and set some goals, we can help. A BetterUp Coach can help you set short-term, intermediate, and long-term goals.
9. Travel (if you can)
Travel doesn’t need to be exotic or expensive. You can simply visit places in your state.
As you travel, you will meet people, make new friends, have interesting or not-so-interesting conversations, all the while learning something new and doing something you’ve never done before.
It can make you feel more connected with the world.
10. Write handwritten letters/notes
Writing therapy (or expressive disclosure) has proven to be extremely cathartic for many people.
When you’re feeling alone, you can write to others, including family, friends, and people you’re just grateful to have in your life. Actually writing someone a handwritten letter or note is not the same as using social media.
Picking up a pen, organizing your thoughts, painting a picture, gluing an envelope shut, and stamping it are very sensory activities. It weaves you into the process and ties you to the person you are writing to.
11. Practice self-care
Self-care is taking intentional care of oneself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It doesn’t have to be complicated.
Fixing a bubble bath, taking an afternoon nap when needed, unplugging from social media for an hour just to relax, a long drive, or ordering take-out are all quality examples of self-care.
Just do the things that make you happy and relaxed. Often, our loneliness stems from frustration and stress. We’re constantly being pulled in different directions. Self-care means saving time for oneself.
12. Build relationships
It might be hard, but it’s important to build lasting relationships.
This could be with family members, friends, loved ones, colleagues, neighbors, and even acquaintances. Take the time to know people’s names and their stories. Forgive quickly and stay connected.
A brief social interaction can enrich our lives and the lives of the people we meet.
Here are 16 ways you can connect with new and existing friends:
- Host a game night
- Attend a workshop or class together
- Plan a hiking or outdoor adventure
- Start a book club
- Host a potluck dinner
- Attend a cultural event
- Take a road trip
- Start a creative project
- Host a movie marathon
- Organize a themed dinner party
- Participate in a group fitness class
- Plan a day of volunteering together
- Join a hiking club, running club, or photography group
- Attend industry-specific networking events or meetups
- Take cooking classes or join a wine-tasting club
- Volunteer at local animal shelters or environmental organizations
13. Alternative therapies
If you’re feeling lonely, have social anxiety, or feel isolated, try alternative therapies like art therapy, music therapy, talk therapy, dance therapy, or light therapy.
They all have positive effects on the mind and increase endorphins.
14. Create gratitude lists
Stephanie Cacioppo, director of the Brain Dynamics Laboratory at the University of Chicago, Pritzker School of Medicine, said, “Loneliness is the discrepancy between what you want from your relationships and what you have.”
Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, make a gratitude list for all the things that you do possess. Numerous studies show how gratitude can positively affect your brain and make you happier.
15. Limit social media use
While social media can provide a sense of connection, excessive use can also contribute to feelings of loneliness and inadequacy. Limit your time on social media and focus on building meaningful offline connections.
16. Focus on your physical health
We can live our most balanced lives when our minds and bodies are taken care of. So one step in combating loneliness it to establish an exercise routine that empowers you and fits well into your lifestyle. Remember to be kind and patient with yourself when building new habits. Who knows, you could meet new friends through a rock climbing group of discover you love your solo yoga time.
By incorporating these strategies into your routine, you can cultivate a deeper sense of comfort, contentment, and fulfillment in your alone time.
If you still feel like you’re drowning in loneliness, maybe you should consider getting help.
Whether meeting in person or virtually, a doctor can identify any other underlying medical conditions. A counselor or clinical psychologist is also a good sounding board for voicing out what you’re feeling. You can also reach out to a local support group to help you manage some transitions or traumatic experiences.
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