If you’re a working adult, there’s a good chance you lead a busy life. You might get lost in long hours working on weekdays, the catch-up on chores when you get home, and weekends that feel like they go by in seconds.
With so much going on, it’s hard to spend quality time with family — even if you’re well-intentioned. But like seeing friends and finding moments to be alone, spending time with your family aids your work-life balance and brings you closer to the people you love.
Quality time is more than eating together at a quiet dinner table or driving the kids to school. It’s about giving your full attention and building family bonds without interruption or distraction. And whether you’re aware of it or not, all family members reap the benefits of spending valuable time together.
Define what family is to you
Until the late 20th century, American families often followed the same structure: men were breadwinners, and women were homemakers. Kids went to school and moved out at a steady pace. People rarely separated or divorced.
But now, American living arrangements are growing in diversity. According to the Pew Research Center, one in six children lives in a blended family (with a stepparent, stepsibling, or half-sibling), and the number of working mothers has grown significantly in the past 50 years. And this is a good thing: more Americans believe life is better now than it was then.
Family now looks different for everyone. To one person, it might be the nuclear unit of their partner and children, and to someone else, it might be the grandparents who raised them. Some people also have a chosen family of people they love who aren’t blood-related.
Defining family in the way it works for you gives you the chance to live life on your own terms and feel connected to the people you truly care about. And since close relationships make you healthier, spending quality time with those people helps you live a happier and longer life.
The importance of quality time with family
Many people live with their families or interact with them often. You might wake up next to your spouse every day and put your kids to bed every night, adjusting to the routine. It’s easy to fall into this trap of interacting without spending true quality time together.
Designating a specific time to show your family you care will have lasting effects both on you and the people close to you, whether they’re your favorite cousins or your teenage children.
Here’s why spending quality time with your family is so important:
Instill values
If you have kids, you might have already noticed that they watch your every move. Children are observant, and they absorb the behaviors and ideas you show them — a process known as observational learning. That means if you want them to develop strong principles, it’s your responsibility to model behaviors and teach them why family values are so important.
Spending quality time with your children, or any members of your family, gives you the chance to express personal values and connect over common ones.
You’ll demonstrate how you treat others, want to be treated, and react to certain situations, whether that’s being honest or taking deep breaths to calm down under stress. Your family will pick up on your behavior and learn the healthy habits you uphold.
Celebrate successes
Everyone needs encouragement from time to time, and encouragement from the people you’re close to is often the most meaningful. And if someone in your family is going through a rough patch, having a bad day, or experiencing the effects of trauma, it’s even more crucial to help them heal.
Celebrate your family’s successes together and show them how hard work and a positive attitude pay off. Sometimes all it takes is making a big deal out of a “win.” Try marking the occasion when someone in the family participates in a sport, gets a promotion at work, or earns a good grade.
By supporting them and cheering them on along the sidelines, you’ll create long-lasting memories and boost everyone’s morale.
Sense of belonging
Teamwork isn’t just for the workplace. Community and collaboration help build a sense of belonging among family members, and there’s much value in knowing that your family cares and always has your back. A sense of belonging helps people adjust to change and hardship, and quality time can instill those feelings of togetherness.
Make group decisions about how you want to spend time together and go the extra mile to make sure everyone feels heard. Showing everyone that they’re a valued member tells them they belong (and they always will).
How to spend quality time with your family: 3 tips
Not every activity has to have an end goal. Sometimes, you just want to have fun together or relax in each other’s company.
While there’s great value in simply sitting with a family member and enjoying their presence, you can take the opportunity to foster something bigger. Quality time with family gives you the chance to create exciting traditions, teach everyone new soft and hard skills, and even clean up your shared space.
Here’s how to use your quality time to the fullest:
1. Create traditions
Family rituals have the potential to improve every member’s physical and mental health, and they let you build shared experiences that feel unique.
Watching certain movies on certain holidays year after year, hiking the same series of trails each spring, or going back to familiar restaurants for birthdays each creates memories. And knowing you’ll be back again next year builds anticipation.
Family traditions are born when you repeat certain activities that feel special, and sometimes they last for generations. Your younger family members will enjoy the time they spent together and carry it on, and your parents and older family members will be glad to see you continue the routines they started years before.
2. Share household chores
Daily, weekly, or monthly household chores seem like a burden, especially for kids who don’t understand why cleaning is so important. But try looking at these tasks from a different perspective.
People who live in tidy homes are much more likely to report good health, and doing chores together speeds up the process and gives you the chance to spend quality time. You’ll share the accomplishment of a tidy home while carrying out a must-do duty as a team.
3. Teach skills
Another powerful way to spend time with your family is to share skills or complete a project together. This could be a creative activity or something traditional to your culture, like cooking a meal, sewing a toy, or making art. This gives you the chance to spend time together and teaches everyone a new skill. Plus, you might create an end product or skill to treasure forever.
Maybe someone in your family is an accomplished carpenter. That person can develop a project, like building a deck or birdhouse, and encourage everyone to participate. The whole family will learn how to complete the process and develop new hard skills. And they’ll experience a powerful sense of contentment when they finish the job.
7 ideas for family time
Family relationships thrive on shared experiences. It might be hard to please everyone the first time — after all, a family is a group of individuals with unique personalities — but the goal is to spend time together. You’re accomplishing that goal no matter what.
Here are seven ways to spend quality time with the people you love:
1. Movie nights
If there are any cinephiles in your home, or there’s a series everyone enjoys watching — such as Star Wars or classic John Hughes flicks — try having a movie night. You could sit on the couch or build a special setup like a fort for an extra touch of fun. If you have a long weekend, you could even have a movie marathon and watch a few at once.
Movies can move you emotionally, and sharing those intimate moments with the people you’re close to can help you bond. And when you find stories your whole family loves, you’ll enjoy rehashing funny, sad, or otherwise memorable moments from your favorites. Watching the same movie every year could even become a tradition.
2. Game nights
There are many family games to choose from, and more enter the market all the time. With classic board games like Monopoly and Settlers of Catan and more recent releases like Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza and Anomia, there’s always something to play.
A game night is your chance to leave your comfort zone together, and you’ll find games the whole crowd enjoys and wants to play again and again.
Consider setting a schedule, like Friday evenings, for family game time. Play some music, break out the potato chips, and ask everyone to put away their phones so you can enjoy the friendly competition without distractions.
3. Art nights
Creativity aids problem-solving and gives your family the chance to collaborate. People of all ages have artistic ability but don’t always have the time to use it — and making art is often intimidating. But creating art is one way to show your family that having fun is more important than developing a perfect end product.
Pull out some paints, crayons, or clay. Have a brainstorming session to think of a theme for everyone’s art, or just let them be creative. You could draw a portrait of the family dog, manifest a goal, or express a feeling.
And when you’re finished, let everyone show their new artwork. Comment on each other's efforts and appreciate each artist's perspectives in making their masterpieces — the results may be beautiful, odd, or even funny.
4. Sharing meals
When your household gets busy, sometimes family time gets pushed to the side. You make meals in a hurry and might even eat on the go. But dinner is your chance to get everyone together for some quality family time. And one study found that when families eat together regularly, children are more likely to have high self-esteem.
Defining mealtime as a family event lets you gather and actively share how everyone’s feeling, giving them the support they need to end the day on a high note. You can even create a framework for the conversation, like roses, thorns, and buds: share something positive from the day, a challenge you faced, and something you’re looking forward to.
5. Food prep
Beyond eating a meal together, preparing the family dinner is another opportunity to bond and talk with various family members. You might find it relaxing to cook as a community, taking an hour out of the day to create something you can all share. And eating something nutritious actually improves your mental and physical health.
Encouraging kids to help with the cooking process adds to the fun (and maybe the mess). Even if they’re not very good at it, letting kids take the lead can help them learn independence, take initiative, and be more confident.
6. Road trips
Packing up the car and going on a road trip is one of the most memorable weekend activities or summer vacations you can do.
Whether you’re going on a two-hour day trip or heading out to a different state for the weekend, spending time in the car gives you the chance to talk, listen to music you all love, and reflect on how you’re feeling. And once you reach your destination, you’ll share new experiences and make memories together.
7. Hobbies
Everyone has passions outside of work and school, but you don’t always show them to the people in your life. But when you share hobbies with your family, show interest in theirs, or pick up something new, you create emotional bonds that tell them they matter and that you care. You can also find something to try together and experience as a family.
If you enjoy music, consider picking up a guitar and finding percussion instruments that everyone could learn how to play. Maybe you’d enjoy skateboarding, shooting some hoops, or jogging together. There are so many hobbies to try out, and even if you decide you don’t like one, you still have a shared experience.
With your family, chat about your interests openly and pick something that everyone could potentially enjoy or is open to trying. You never know where you could find your passion.
Quality time as a family for belonging and happiness
Spending quality time with family lets you build emotional bonds and demonstrate your commitment and care for each other. You’ll solidify your family dynamic and create resilient happiness in every member, supporting your mental health and developing a strong unit.
Bring your kids on a road trip to your favorite national park, have close friends over for a shared meal, or host an annual movie marathon for extended family. By balancing family and work, you’re sending a precedent for generations to come.
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