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Empower yourself: how to nurture personal self-determination

March 6, 2024 - 17 min read

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What is self-determination?

Why is self-determination important?

Where self-determination makes a difference

What does self-determination look like?

How to nurture self-determination

Use self-determination to take control of your life

Each day you’re faced with decisions: when to wake up, what to eat, and how to spend your free time. You may not usually question choosing one thing over another. But have you ever wondered why you make certain decisions?

Self-determination theory explains how certain types of motivation affect day-to-day decision-making and well-being. It says that motivation determines your behavior and can push you to do (or not do) certain things. 

But that's not to say you completely lack control over your decisions. By understanding self-determination, you can use what motivates you to make better choices.

What is self-determination?

Self-determination refers to making intentional decisions based on your own free will. It reveals how much motivation you get from internal interests and goals.

Self-determination is a learned behavior. As you grow, you experiment with boundaries and learn how to improve self-control. You discover how to set realistic goals and plan for the future. This helps you build a worldview framed by personal values and ethics.

What is self-determination theory (SDT)?

Created by psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, self-determination theory (SDT) analyzes why people think and act in certain ways. It defines the conditions necessary to improve performance, build resilience, and continuously grow.

SDT says you pursue goals for different reasons. If intrinsically motivated, your interest and enjoyment come from an internal need to grow and feel good. 

In other words, attempting the activity is how you reward yourself. Learning from it or completing it fills you with satisfaction and well-being. These positive emotions motivate you to pursue further growth.

Along with motivation, SDT says you need to fulfill three basic psychological needs:

  • Autonomy: Autonomy means acting independently and consistently with your authentic self.
  • Competence: When you experience success and positive emotions, you feel competent. This allows you to apply new skills to meet demands.
  • Relatedness: Relatedness means feeling connected to, cared for, and validated by others.

Meeting these needs makes you better at pursuing goals using intrinsic motivations

What is non-self-determination?

The opposite of self-determination is non-self-determination, which is driven by extrinsic motivation.

Extrinsic motivation isn’t necessarily bad. External incentives can sometimes help you achieve your goals. But when your only motivation is extrinsic, your self-determination may be negatively affected.

For example, a manager may use commission pay to motivate employees to work hard. But if poor teamwork and a toxic work environment impact the employees’ sense of control, competence, and relatedness, they’ll still lack motivation.

On the other hand, if the employees are internally driven to succeed and improve their professional development, they’ll work hard without the extra commission.

Roadblocks to self-determination

The principle of self-determination relies on a strong sense of self. Many roadblocks to achieving it have to do with a lack of introspection and personal goals, such as:

  • Missing goals: Setting goals outlines what you want to achieve in life. You may struggle to find satisfaction and meaning without awareness of your goals. 
  • Fixed mindset: A fixed mindset can prevent you from challenging yourself and learning from failure. It can cause decreased creativity, poor problem-solving skills, and low resilience that prevents you from bouncing back after setbacks.
  • Need for control: When you can’t let go of control over every aspect of your life, you waste time and energy. You decrease your self-efficacy and the confidence to persevere despite challenges.

Why is self-determination important?

Further studies on self-determination theory and autonomy psychology prove that relatedness, competence, and autonomous motivation are key to mental well-being for all kinds of people.

A study by Michael L. Wehmeyer, a special education professor, director, and senior scientist at the University of Kansas, found that self-determination is critical for the overall quality of life experienced by those with developmental disabilities. 

Psychologists Richard Koestner and Renee Landry discovered that children with a sense of autonomy over decision-making were more motivated to develop positive social behaviors.

Additionally, developing strong self-determination can result in the following benefits:

  • Greater needs satisfaction
  • Improved psychological health
  • Empowerment at work
  • Increased positive emotions
  • Decreased negative emotions
  • Positive affect in daily interactions
  • Better academic performance
  • Improved self-advocacy
  • Reduced decision fatigue

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Where self-determination makes a difference

Personal relationships

Self-determination in relationships allows you to maintain autonomy and boundaries. It also facilitates openness and agreement. 

A study led by C. Raymond Knee, Ph.D., a professor at the University of Houston’s Department of Psychology, found that self-determined reasons for being in a relationship predicted better relationship satisfaction, deeper understanding, and less defensive behavior.

It found self-determination led partners to behave based on reflection rather than reaction. For example, they may surprise their partner with lunch because they enjoy spending time together (intrinsic motivation)  but not because they fear being seen as a “bad partner” (social obligation).

When one partner is interested in the other’s preferences and perspectives, the recipient likely feels more autonomy, more cared for, and more valuable. This, in turn, supports the providing partner’s well-being.

Work

Basing professional goals on intrinsic motivations can improve well-being at work. The self-determination aspects of autonomy, competency, and relatedness can help you understand how motivated you are at work.

  • Autonomy: Feeling you have control over your work and how you do it increases motivation and investment.
  • Competency: Meeting your work goals boosts confidence, engagement, and productivity.
  • Relatedness: Feeling connected to colleagues improves employee retention and mental health.

Studies by the Future of Work Institute in Australia show managers can support employees’ self-determination through charismatic or inspirational leadership. The research also revealed that this type of leadership can encourage proactive work. 

Confident-man-at-work-holding-his-tablet-how-to-improve-self-determination

More transactional leadership styles might better support self-determination during crises. Deci, Ryan, and James P. Connell discovered that a manager’s support for employee self-determination wasn’t enough to keep satisfaction and well-being high during organizational crises. This was especially true if those crises threatened pay and job security.

Setting and achieving goals

Setting person-centered goals fosters a sense of ownership and responsibility for your choices and actions, writes Keri Giacomini, a licensed clinical social worker. The feeling of autonomy over what you do to work toward achievements can also improve your chances of accomplishing goals.

A study on long-term weight loss by the Technical University of Lisbon, Portugal, suggests that when people feel competent and autonomous about reaching their weight-loss goals, they’re more likely to see long-term success.

Self-determination can also create self-fulfilling prophecies regarding achievement. Assefa Degebas, a professor of psychology at Wollega University in Ethiopia, found that self-determination positively influences achieving life goals. In short, accomplishing your life goals improves your self-determination thanks to a boost in self-efficacy.

What does self-determination look like?

The concept of self-determination may seem abstract. But it's easy to spot once you know what it looks like. 

Imagine studying for a final exam and having difficulty understanding a particular concept. If you have high self-determination, you likely accept that you have a problem. You probably also believe you can overcome it by working to understand the concept. You might consult a different textbook or review your notes again. 

In this scenario, self-determination pushes you to act creatively and problem-solve. If the result is a good grade, it reinforces your autonomy, competence, and relatedness, which increases motivation.

What does non-self-determination look like?

A-person-sitting-on-floor-having-trouble-with-self-determination

If you have low self-determination in this same scenario, you believe external factors control the situation. You might make excuses and blame the professor for assigning work that’s too hard. 

You may feel like learning the concept is beyond your reach. Getting a bad grade would feed your low self-determination and reinforce a vicious cycle.

How to nurture self-determination

Self-determination is a learned behavior. You can nurture your autonomous motivation, competence, and relatedness to improve self-determination. This is true even if you’re ambitious and self-sufficient. 

Start with the following three steps to increase your self-determination:

1. Pursue intrinsic rewards

Pursuing a goal and its intrinsic reward can create a sense of enjoyment and satisfaction. This strengthens your self-determination.

It’s not necessarily bad to pursue a goal for extrinsic, material rewards or due to obligation. But in some cases, extrinsic rewards can lower intrinsic motivation. Doing something for a material reward can challenge your sense of autonomy. Your motivation to pursue future goals may diminish.

2. Improve self-awareness

Improving self-awareness starts with regular gratitude practice, positive self-talk, and self-compassion

These activities can boost your morale and sense of self-determination. They root behavior in meaning and purpose, leading to intrinsic fulfillment.

3. Build support and resource networks for lasting change 

One of the most important predictors of self-determination is whether your relationships and experiences help or hurt personal growth. This includes your relationship with yourself. 

Healthy relationships cultivate autonomy, competence, and relatedness, improving self-determination.

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These relationships and their support can be both interpersonal and professional. Look to family and friends to fulfill your sense of autonomy and relatedness. Consider working with a life coach to build a growth mindset that feeds your sense of competency.

Use self-determination to take control of your life

By learning how to nurture self-determination, you can feel more in control. That’s empowering. It means you can go after what you want while feeling capable and motivated to achieve it. 

But some situations are out of your control. When you encounter circumstances you can’t change, the challenge becomes to change how you respond.

A BetterUp coach can help you identify what you can (and can’t) control in life. They’ll work with you to develop the self-determination you need to fulfill your motivations and achieve your goals.

Transform your life

Make meaningful changes and become the best version of yourself. BetterUp's professional Coaches are here to support your personal growth journey.

Transform your life

Make meaningful changes and become the best version of yourself. BetterUp's professional Coaches are here to support your personal growth journey.

Published March 6, 2024

Elizabeth Perry, ACC

Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships.

With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

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